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Silent No More

pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
edited November 22 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art


I will add more as time goes on.  I have learned not to share too much at once.  There are many who are not to be trusted.  The last 43 years have done a number on me.  I will share more as God allows.

Thank you all for your time.
Post edited by pickupyourwill on

Comments

  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 12
      He tried to leave.  They would not let him.
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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 14
    I was to go into the Air Force around age 22.

    A few months later, my old fiance called me up.  He was crying, on the phone, at the thought of me going into the Air Force and us never seeing each other again.  He wanted to be more than friends.  He felt that I was running away from my problems and wasn't sure if me going in was a good idea.  I was already having many doubts about it as well.  My confidence was not there.  I did not have enough faith in myself for some of the intimidating challenges that the military life would bring.  I would get a bit home sick.  I was putting a lot of trust into strangers, some of whom had already shattered my self-esteem.  I really didn't trust anyone at that point, and when my ex came along to save the day and shower me with love and attention, I finally gave in.  He felt more like home to me then.  I would soon find out, however, that the cold world of future jobs was just as harsh and unforgiving as the military would have been.    

    My ex-fiance and I got back together for a month before I was to go into basic training.  I had already been sworn in.  We put it in God's hands and let him make the decision.  A couple of weeks before I was to leave, we found out I was pregnant.  It felt like God had made the decision for us.

    We had many family and friends around us that judged us harshly for our actions, but we pushed on through.  Eventually, everyone came together and we made it all work.





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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 27
    Anger management after Bourbon and Beyond.

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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited October 14
     I was used as bait to hook him...bait, hook and switch...that's what they did...and then they frame innocent lives and try to rewrite the story to suit their own selfish needs.

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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 22
    He brought up all the concerts I had been to, all the live streaming, all the loyalty to them over the years since the age of 13, and he pointed out how I was getting screwed by the powers that be.  I downplayed it all because of a broken heart.  I felt I had been discarded and tossed aside.  I felt rejected.  I hardly had any energy left after what they had done to my son and I. They had been stealing our shines for years.  We had been used and abused for far too long.
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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 12
     The rest of them only saw him as a burden.



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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 14
      

    Their music evolved in such an amazing way.  Each cd was mind-blowing.  It seems like every two years there would be a new cd and I'd go to a concert.  I was holding onto a loss of innocence too.  That junior high era for me had so much hope and potential for the future.  There was still a sense of purpose and good vibes all around.  Those formative years had a huge chunk of Pearl Jam influence, plus the fact that Eddie reminded me of my old dad and brother from before the divorce, when I was eleven.  It was a sense of the past trauma.   I would not understand this till later in life.  

    They were still connecting with me.

    I have seen Pearl Jam more then ten times, in concert, in my life.  Sadly, I do not have many of the ticket stubs anymore.    
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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 12
     So many had to face it alone.  He was one of them. 
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  • pickupyourwillpickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    edited November 8
     

    It was hard to watch it unfold.  I tried to speak up many times.  They would not listen.
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