**Scared Alive?**
PRfCTlYUNkPTCLtHs
Posts: 120
I was wondering if anyone has had such a sensation, Scared Alive.
I had to deal with a close friends suicide, it will be three years ago in Nov. That I would have to say scared me alive. I realized how quickly life can change on you. Don't mean to get too deep or anything..but I guess it's unavoidable w/a question such as this.
So..anyone feel like sharing their experiences or their take on the topic?
I had to deal with a close friends suicide, it will be three years ago in Nov. That I would have to say scared me alive. I realized how quickly life can change on you. Don't mean to get too deep or anything..but I guess it's unavoidable w/a question such as this.
So..anyone feel like sharing their experiences or their take on the topic?
No need to be void,.. or save up on life,...
Got to spend it all,.....
"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music." EV
1-14-95, 9-04-00, 7-01-03, 5-30-06, 10-21-06, 10-22-06, 6-17-08, 6-22-08, 8-16-08 E.V., 6-15-09 E.V., 10-28-09, 5-13-10.
Got to spend it all,.....
"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music." EV
1-14-95, 9-04-00, 7-01-03, 5-30-06, 10-21-06, 10-22-06, 6-17-08, 6-22-08, 8-16-08 E.V., 6-15-09 E.V., 10-28-09, 5-13-10.
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http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=198207
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
whoa.
Thank u for sharing.
Got to spend it all,.....
"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music." EV
1-14-95, 9-04-00, 7-01-03, 5-30-06, 10-21-06, 10-22-06, 6-17-08, 6-22-08, 8-16-08 E.V., 6-15-09 E.V., 10-28-09, 5-13-10.
Scared Alive is one of my favourite concepts on the new album. Who wants to be scared to death? I had a friend also die about a year and a half ago. Unfortunately we can't be sure if it was suicide or not... But one thing I know is that the things which he was scared of (emotional problems leading to self harm etc.) scared him to death.
And that killed a part of everyone connected to the situation. I may not be making much sense... but I think what I mean is that Scared Alive is a very hopeful concept, and something we should strive to achieve when dealing with problems.
We can let things scare us to death, or we can let them scare us alive.
Sorry if that was a little incoherant! :0)
8/29/06 Arnhem
9/11/06 Paris
6/18/07 London
That makes total sense to me. Maybe because we have delt w/similar situations..but I see it as a sense of awakening almost. As if to say the way I lived my life b4 all of this happened, I was "sleeping", not paying attention to stuff that I should of. Stuff that was important. I'm not sleeping anymore. I just wish my friend was here to see it.
Got to spend it all,.....
"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music." EV
1-14-95, 9-04-00, 7-01-03, 5-30-06, 10-21-06, 10-22-06, 6-17-08, 6-22-08, 8-16-08 E.V., 6-15-09 E.V., 10-28-09, 5-13-10.
It's very hard to deal with that. I was basically numb with shock about the whole thing for a year. And as it came up to the month of the anniversary of his death I kind of started to feel again, and for the first time I had to deal with just wanting to see him and knowing that I never could.
But being scared alive is like a new way of life that allows you to continue livng your life while you deal with these things. So it's a positive focus when you feel things like "I just wish my friend was here to see it".
I still think it's early days but I'm realising that the thing is, those feelings may never stop, but you have to remember that neither does life. So we can let it pass by wishing things were different or we can deal with those things while we live it. Do both, they are both important, but don't let one be stifled by the other. Still not sure this is making sense!
I feel lots more PJ references coming on... All emcompassing trip and all that :0)
8/29/06 Arnhem
9/11/06 Paris
6/18/07 London
So, when I was fourteen or so, I did the stupid thing, and ate a chocolate without reading the ingredients to make sure it was safe.
As soon as I did it, I I felt really worried and panicky. And then these thoughts freaked me out so much, that I thought I felt my throat closing.
It was after midnight, I was the only one awake in the house, and I thought I was going to die. Once I calmed myself down enough to realize I was okay, I was literally Scared Alive.
Since that fake-death, the whole "treasure every minute as it may be your last" schpiel really is true. Don't do stupid things, value yourself, all that jazz.
- explore and not explode -
i was at a funeral recently of a family friend who passed away, before his time. i was reflecting heavily that day. being scared alive definitely came into play that day.
no matter what way i look at it being "scared alive", it's still a good thing. as mentioned in this thread, it very much relates to an awakening that one might experience.
being scared alive most certainly celebrates the living aspect of life. did i mention how fragile life was
no quite the opposite my friend
My Mom's best friend just completed suicide, and I have no idea how to consol my mom. I am therapist, but it is just different when it is your family. any advice?
But being scared alive is like a new way of life that allows you to continue livng your life while you deal with these things. So it's a positive focus when you feel things like "I just wish my friend was here to see it".
I still think it's early days but I'm realising that the thing is, those feelings may never stop, but you have to remember that neither does life. So we can let it pass by wishing things were different or we can deal with those things while we live it. Do both, they are both important, but don't let one be stifled by the other. Still not sure this is making sense!
I feel lots more PJ references coming on... All emcompassing trip and all that :0)[/quote]
i know exactly what you mean a few years back i was 19 my friend and his dad died in a surfing accident it totally changed my few on life, you never know whats going to happen in this life you can take nothing for granted, i was scared alive for a while but like you say you have to deal with it and move its hard but like the boys say "no matter how cold the winter theres a springtime ahead"
Just be there for her. That's really all u can do. Be the shoulder she will need to cry on. She may be in shock for a while, I certainly was. Give her space when she needs it. But kick her in the ass when she needs it too. If that makes any sense. For a while I got stuck in the rut of thimking too much about it. That's when you need to intervene. Take her out to do something she enjoys, just stop the cycle. Idle time in situations such as this can get very dark for the ones involved. When you loose a close friend you feel alone & abandoned. You feel like they left w/no regard to your feelings. Don't let her feel alone. I hope that helps.
My condolences.
Got to spend it all,.....
"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music." EV
1-14-95, 9-04-00, 7-01-03, 5-30-06, 10-21-06, 10-22-06, 6-17-08, 6-22-08, 8-16-08 E.V., 6-15-09 E.V., 10-28-09, 5-13-10.
PRfCTlYUNkPTCLtHs put it well. I think the bit about not letting her feel alone is important. Because it's such a horrific thing, there's not much you can do at first to make someone feel better - They need time to feel bad (not to get in rut, but just not to push themslelf to get over it faster than they can). But during this time I think just letting someone know that you are thinking about what they are going through can help a lot. It makes it seem less lonely dealing with it.
When my friend died I had just started a new school away from all but one of my friends, straight after the Christmas holidays (he died on new year's eve)... But they had to announce his death at this new school because his twin sister, also a good friend, went to that school. So I was feeling upset and ended up in the office of one of the English teachers because I didn't know anyone and needed to get some space (his sister wasn't in school obviously)..
Anyway, while I was in there this teacher was talking to me about it, and she just acknowledged in one sentence that this situation might make it hard for me to want to stay at the school (I'd already dropped out of a school once that year). That is exactly how I felt - it was hard to motivate myself to stick out being at a new school where I wasn't happy at the time anyway after what happened - and just her showing such an in tune awareness of how I must have been feeling made me feel a lot better and less alone.
Sorry the context for that point was so long... Basically I just meant that if you can let her know you can understand how her friend's suicide might be effecting her it might stop her getting lonely.
I also found that at the time I really wanted to be with my friends who were also dealing with his death, so helping her find time to be with other friends might be really helpful in a practical way... ie, maybe if you can sort out house stuff etc. every now and again to give her time to see her friends it migh help her?
Don't whether that helps at all... I really hope that your mum is ok, and that you don't feel too helpless. I'm sure you just being there will help her loads. Good luck with everything :0)
8/29/06 Arnhem
9/11/06 Paris
6/18/07 London
Everyone has nightmares, Ive had nightmares where I have ran away from a freaky alien, woken up in releif only to have it sitting at the end of my bed then wake up again (I was dreaming a dream) but THE scariest dream I ever had seemed so real.
I cant remember what happened at the beggining but I got bitten by a snake, and had 20 mins left of life. I was at home, and everyone was in the back yard, because they couldnt bare to watch me fade out. In my dream I was crying because my mother said "You are being really brave about this, I'm lucky to have had a great son, play some music, and just try to get some sleep"
I was just sat there clueless, trying to grasp the fact that I was going to die, and that all the shit I put up with because I knew I was going to 'reach my dream' was just a big waste of time, I was just thinking "Music is the only thing I have left now, how do I play myself out"
I woke up so relieved..
there you are.
- brain of c