Please play Speed of Sound in Toronto for my Mom
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Please read my letter to the Ten Club and share anyway you can. Good vibes are also appreciated.
Thanks,
J
A WHISPER IN THE DARK
I’ll start by saying that I never do this. Well, I took a sign once and tried to get the band to play Footsteps for my wife on her birthday. It was in Toronto back in 2005, and even though they didn’t play it that night, they did at the following show in Quebec City. Ed even made a point of mentioning my sign and that I was trying to get them to play it, but they didn’t get around to it. He didn’t know if “He was there that night” (I wasn’t), and that he didn’t know if “He hates us” (impossible), but that they were going to play it that night. I bought the boot of the QC show, and I play it back often, and it always brings a big smile to my face. I never expected them to play it, I just thought I’d give it a shot. I know that lots of people bring signs for songs and the band does it’s best to accommodate, but it would be impossible to play every request. I was a little disappointed, but like I said, I understood, and didn’t even remotely hold any ill feelings towards the band. In fact, the memory I have from that night is better. I actually have a bootleg with Ed telling the story of it, and a killer version of Footsteps that will always be my favorite. Just knowing that he felt he had done us wrong by not playing it in Toronto, and making the point of playing it at the next show was extremely flattering. That’s why I love this band so much. They truly care about their fans. All bands say it, Pearl Jam mean it.
What I’ve never done though was write to the Ten Club before the show, asking for help in getting the band to play a song for a dearly departed loved one. I’ve heard of it being done before, and was at a show in Toronto in 06 where they played Come Back for a member of the audience who had just lost her mom. Needless to say, I felt really bad for the girl, but also thought what a nice healing moment that must’ve been for her. Still, I never wanted to be in her shoes. Losing my Mom was such a horrifying thought, and I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. Until last April when I lost mine.
When I say my Mom and I were close, that is an understatement. She was my best friend, my biggest fan, and I was hers. She used to say that my brother and I were “the best thing that ever happened to her” and that she was so proud of us. I’ve never known a love more powerful. She taught me everything I know, including a deep love and appreciation for music. She was a huge music fan, and I can remember her enthusiasm and joy when a song she really loved came on. She would turn it up, sing along, and quote her favorite lyrics. She told me how she saw the Beatles all three times they played Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto. I actually have a picture she took from one of the concerts proudly hanging on my wall. I remember her and my Dad going to many concerts, and buying many records. The stereo or radio were on more often than the TV ever was. The apple truly doesn’t fall far from the tree, and I’m proud to say I inherited her deep love of music, both recorded and live. Once my brother and I were old enough, we would go to many concerts with Mom and Dad. To name a few, that long list includes Paul McCartney, Tom Petty, Neil Young, CSNY, Gordon Lightfoot, Simon and Garfunkel, Jimmy Buffett, The Tragically Hip, and I’m proud to say, Pearl Jam. They both came to the October 5th 2000 show in Toronto at the then brand-new Air Canada Centre. My Mom knew how much my brother and I loved Pearl Jam. I remember her hearing me listen to Ten non-stop, and saying that she thought they were something special. She had great taste in music, which I also inherited. She really preferred the more mellow side of PJ, but she understood how we loved it all. She would say that they were “our Beatles.” She was right, it was pure PJ Mania!!
From the moment I saw Pearl Jam in Barrie Ontario, Lollapalooza, August 5th 1992, I was hooked. Saying they are my favorite band is not strong enough of a description, they are more like my religion. I couldn’t get enough. I bought every bootleg I could find, and I mean the crappy fan-recorded ones that cost $75. Every T shirt that had their name on it, anything I could find. I paid $50 for the Japanese CD of Ten because it had I’ve Got a Feeling on it. I joined the Ten Club in 94 once I knew it was a REAL fan club that sent you a sweet rare 45 in the mail every Christmas, and have been a loyal member since. I used to have to buy a money order in American funds for my membership fees, and send it by snail mail. Once they started Ten Club tickets, because of my high seniority, I have got to see a show from the front row, and had incredible seats to every show since. I couldn’t be more grateful. Saying they are my favorite band is not strong enough of a description, they are more like my religion. I’ve heard that said before, and I’m proud to part of such a dedicated, loyal, voracious fanbase. My wife and I fulfilled a dream of seeing PJ in Seattle in 2018 for the Home Shows and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. We were in Seattle for almost a full week and in between all the shows we did the “Seattle Scene” tour. We would constantly run into other fans doing the same thing. Like a pilgrimage of sorts. At The El Corazon (Off Ramp), the Singles building, the old OK Café, The Showbox, London Bridge Studio, Benaroya Hall, Easy Street Records, Discovery Park (where I met Matt’s cousin!!); everywhere we went, fellow fans were doing the same thing. I was really lucky to win the Ten Club early VIP access to the MoPOP exhibit and screening of the first night’s show. The museum was like the ultimate shrine to the band and I’m pretty sure I have a picture of every single thing that was on display. The whole trip was like the ultimate Pearl Jam fan odyssey. The shows were beyond incredible, the time spent in Seattle, sightseeing, just being a part of it all, I was beyond satisfied. Next to meeting the band, it was everything I could’ve asked for. As soon as I got home, the first person I called to tell them all about it, was my Mom. She was so happy for me. She could hear the pure joy in my voice, and I couldn’t wait to show her all my pictures. She would ask me if they played any of her favorites. One of those favorites, was Speed of Sound. She loved the lyric “Every time I get me some, it gets the best of me. Not much left you see.” I have been to 42 Pearl Jam shows now, and seen many songs, rarities, cool covers, but since it was released in 09, Speed of Sound, which is one of my favorites too, has eluded me. I told Mom that live, it was a rarity, but that the next time I went to a show, I would take a sign and try to get them to play it, and play her the bootleg. Well that next show is two weeks from tonight in Toronto.
My Mom and Dad were born and raised in Toronto. My brother and I were born and partially raised there. I haven’t missed a Pearl Jam concert in the GTA since 1992. I have traveled all over the continent to see PJ, but when they play Toronto, I consider those my Home Shows. My town always does me proud, and I can tell the band really enjoys playing the city too. On March 18th, 2020, my brother and I, our wives, and some friends and family will be there. In spirit, I know my Mom will be there too. We lost her almost one year ago, but it still feels like yesterday. My brother and I spoke to a medium back in November, and I totally believe there is an afterlife. The medium knew of our love of music, and that we’d been playing lots of songs for her. She told the medium to tell us to keep playing the music for her, to keep “jamming” and that through music was how she was going to keep communicating with us. When I play my guitar or drums, I can feel her there with me.
I cannot describe in words how much I miss her. I’d give anything to have even one more day with her. She was sick for a while, but she would get better and then regress. We almost lost her five years ago, and it turns out she was living on borrowed time. It still felt so sudden. So final. So incredibly heart breaking. The grief has been overwhelming. All the firsts without her; Mother’s Day, holidays, my birthday, her birthday, and now the first Pearl Jam show. I know the first thing she would say to me was, “Did they play Speed of Sound?”
I know it’s a lot to ask. I know I’m just one fan, and that this isn’t a request line. I wouldn’t think of asking if I hadn’t seen it done before, and thought, why not us? That being said, I won’t expect to hear it, but will be exploding with emotion and gratitude if I do. I expect a lot of tears anyway, but if I can get them to play Speed of Sound for my Mom, well the waterworks will be hard to contain. My Mom’s name is Maggie, my name is Jason, my brother’s name is Daniel, and we are all Pearl Jam fans till the end.
Thank you for reading this, and for being the kind of fan club and band that would even consider such a request. Thank you for being there through all my good times and bad. Thank you, from the bottom of my broken heart. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jason Dove
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Take care, all the best