Release@MSG (My Story)

bkagen@aol.combkagen@aol.com Posts: 44
Dear Pearl Jam Family,
I'm going to tell my story which I really do not do that often, and really never to complete strangers, but as these 2 shows are rapidly approaching, I would like to get it out there!
14 PJ shows - Never seen "Release"
Only a true Pearl Jam fan will appreciate and understand what I went through and how a song actually saved me.....
Dec 8 2000
I was 25 years old. My Father "KK" was killed in a tragic train accident on Long Island. The days and months after that one quick moment were the most difficult hours, minutes, seconds of my life.
What I found was the passion, words and music of "Release" to be my savior! Obviously growing up with PJ and listening to Release thousands of times, it was not until now that a whole new meaning has taken place for me!
The lyrics rip through me every time I now hear that song. But because of it's power, it gave me the strength to live strong and move forward.
In June 2008 i became a father of a beautiful daughter named after my father "KK"......As life moves forward I can only pray that he sees me being the best father I can possibly be to my little angel.
I bought a ticket to Bonnaroo hoping and pretty much knowing that "Release" would be played being Fathers Day weekend and all, and finally stopping my search of hearing "Release" live. But as father day approached, I couldn't bear the fact to be away from her and my family on that day. I kept thinking what would my father do in this situation? I made a decision to sell the tickets and spend fathers day at home.
Then of course finding out that the greatest most emotional "Release" was played after midnight as Eddie poured his soul into it, made me think twice. But I stand by my decision and wouldn't change it for the world.
So here we are 4 nights away from the first of two at the Garden. I can not wait, it will be so great to see them jam again. But now is the time for me to finally see and hear "Release" so I can stop chasing the dream I have for me and my father.
I also have a "Release" tattoo on my right shoulder with my fathers initials "KK" floating over water. If you would like to see it, send me an email as I can not figure out how to attach anything to this.
Thank you for taking some time to read this, reply if you would like, if not - See you at the GARDEN!!!!
Oh Dear Dad,
Can you see me Now
I am Myself,
Like you Somehow

BK
"See the path Cut by the Moon, for you to Walk On"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • kcherubkcherub Posts: 961
    BK,

    Great story, very touching. Thanks for sharing it.

    Hope you get to hear Release live at the next shows!

    Take care,
    I still want you all to "take care"--I am just damn tired of typing it.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/kcherub#p/a/u/0/N-UQprRqSwo
  • shakey420shakey420 Posts: 27
    well said bk, i only wish i am standing next to you when they do eventually play this for you.

    -CS
  • edheadedhead Posts: 15
    Are you trying to kill me?? I am 7 months pregnant with my second child and In too lost my dad. Not as tragic but it hurts all the same.

    I am so sorry for you loss and I hope and pray that Release is played for you. And please if you need to shed a tear or a milion of them at the show... just do it.


    See u there!!!
    Sometimes life won't leave you alone...
  • Biggest WaveBiggest Wave Posts: 686
    Oh

    My

    God
  • BK,

    From a fellow (former) LI'er......i hope your wish comes true, and if it does, i'll be there somewhere in the arena, thinking of u....

    Hugh
    if hope could grow from dirt like me.....

    "well I know for sure that if we met up eye-to-eye....a little wine would bring us closer...you and I"...Pete Townshend
  • heartdesireheartdesire Posts: 430
    BK17,

    I wish for you that your dream comes true!

    I won't be at the show, though will be feeling it from afar! 'Release' please for BK17!

    I lost my father last year, 'man of the hour' is one that pulled me through! I was so thankful that pj played lollapalooza. It was "rock" medicine for my grieving soul. This may sound silly, though it happens occasionally ... dragonflies are a symbol that remind me of my dad. While waiting feverishly with the many for pj to start I was missing my dad. A few moments later I looked up and about 20 dragonflies flew over head. A summer occurrence though a magical moment for me. I realized that my dad is always in my heart.

    So enjoy the shows! Rock your heart and soul out! And I so hope for you that 'release' is played ... loud & clear!

    h&d
    "i'm a dedicated insomniac" ~ ev nyc beacon 6/22
  • vitodacatvitodacat Posts: 475
    Add me as another who will thinking of this story when IT IS played at MSG


    *Official Marker in the Sand Fan Club Junkie*
    Member # 0003

    wont let the light escape from me
    wont let the darkness swallow me
  • AddictedAddicted Posts: 124
    22 shows and no Release for me so good luck to you. I hope you get it.
    hold on to the thread
    the currents will shift
  • NCBRINCBRI Posts: 1,902
    BK17 wrote:
    Dear Pearl Jam Family,
    I'm going to tell my story which I really do not do that often, and really never to complete strangers, but as these 2 shows are rapidly approaching, I would like to get it out there!
    14 PJ shows - Never seen "Release"
    Only a true Pearl Jam fan will appreciate and understand what I went through and how a song actually saved me.....
    Dec 8 2000
    I was 25 years old. My Father "KK" was killed in a tragic train accident on Long Island. The days and months after that one quick moment were the most difficult hours, minutes, seconds of my life.
    What I found was the passion, words and music of "Release" to be my savior! Obviously growing up with PJ and listening to Release thousands of times, it was not until now that a whole new meaning has taken place for me!
    The lyrics rip through me every time I now hear that song. But because of it's power, it gave me the strength to live strong and move forward.
    In June 2008 i became a father of a beautiful daughter named after my father "KK"......As life moves forward I can only pray that he sees me being the best father I can possibly be to my little angel.
    I bought a ticket to Bonnaroo hoping and pretty much knowing that "Release" would be played being Fathers Day weekend and all, and finally stopping my search of hearing "Release" live. But as father day approached, I couldn't bear the fact to be away from her and my family on that day. I kept thinking what would my father do in this situation? I made a decision to sell the tickets and spend fathers day at home.
    Then of course finding out that the greatest most emotional "Release" was played after midnight as Eddie poured his soul into it, made me think twice. But I stand by my decision and wouldn't change it for the world.
    So here we are 4 nights away from the first of two at the Garden. I can not wait, it will be so great to see them jam again. But now is the time for me to finally see and hear "Release" so I can stop chasing the dream I have for me and my father.
    I also have a "Release" tattoo on my right shoulder with my fathers initials "KK" floating over water. If you would like to see it, send me an email as I can not figure out how to attach anything to this.
    Thank you for taking some time to read this, reply if you would like, if not - See you at the GARDEN!!!!
    Oh Dear Dad,
    Can you see me Now
    I am Myself,
    Like you Somehow

    BK


    Good luck hearing "Release". As someone who just lost their father less than 2 months ago, I can appreciate your feelings for the song. I had the pleasure of hearing it as an opener in 2003, but it has so much new meaning for me now.
    Brian
  • sa328sa328 Posts: 3
    BK, you just made me cry. I didnt know about that. I am glad I do now. Email me a pic of your tat or I will have to come to NY and grab ur muscles like I used too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • EddieNJEddieNJ Posts: 23
    I've been lucky enough to see Release 2 times out of the 13 shows i've been at. I will be at both MSG shows and hope they play it for you. It is my all time favorite song for them to open up with. I get chills through my body when I hear this song.
  • TenaciousJTenaciousJ Posts: 53
    i can't wait till they play it either tonight or tomorrow. i'll definitely be thinking about you
    Maui I 98 / Camden II 98 / Jones Beach I,II,III 00 / Camden I,II 00 / Philadelphia 03 / Camden I 03 / Mansfield III 03 / Reading 04 / Montreal 05 / Camden II 06 / East Rutherford I 06 / Camden I 08 / NYC I,II 08
  • CorduroyGCorduroyG Posts: 23
    I lost my dad in March '98 and Long Road was the song that got me through it, probably listened to it 100 times. Fast forward to sept 10 '98, first time ever seeing Pearl Jam live, and of course they open with Long Road. THat stuff doesnt happen by accident.

    Ive only gotten Release once in 15 shows, praying for it tonite!!
  • IGotShit76IGotShit76 Posts: 768
    One day or another I'll hear Release during a PJ concert. So far I have only been to 4 shows so chances were quite low but there's no other possibility !!! I lost my dad 14 years ago. He was only 42, went to bed and never woke up. I miss him so much.
    Strange thing is that I started to listen to PJ a lot around that time and when I realized what this song was about tears came quickly. They still come quickly most of the time I hear this song. There's so much emotion in it.
  • NotoriousIMPNotoriousIMP Posts: 141
    Lost my pops 26yrs ago today!!!!
    I was 11. Still pissed.

    Praying for release tonight!!!!!

    First time I heard it live was MSG II 08'.

    Lets start off tonight with a little tribute.

    Heres to ya POP!!
    96' Randalls island II
    98' NJ, MSG II
    00' Jones Beach I,II,III
    03' Nassau, MSG I, II
    05' Montreal, Ottawa, Borgata II
    06' NJ I, II
    08' Camden II, MSG II, Hartford, Beacon NY, Ed Ved NYC I
    09' Philly 4
    10' MSG I,II
    11' Ed Ved Hartford
    13' Chicago, Brooklyn II
    15' GCF NY
    16' Philly II, MSG I
  • polarispolaris Posts: 3,527
    i've been fortunate to hear this song 3 times live and it gives me chills every time ...

    if i wasn't such an emotionally stunted goof - i'd probably cry
  • I was just hoping they opened with it tonight at MSG 2 but that gives you a little more to think about.
    Hail Hail The Lucky Ones!!!

    Saratoga 92, Hartford 96, Hartford 98, Jones Beach 3 00, Mansfield 1 03, Mansfield 2 03, Camden 1 03, MSG 1 03, MSG 2 03, Mansfield 3 03, Holmdel 03, Boston 1 04, Albany 06, Hartford 06, East Rutherford 1 06, Camden 2 08, MSG 1 08, MSG 2 08, Hartford 08, Mansfield 1 08, Mansfield 2 08, Spectrum 4 09, Hartford 10, MSG 1 10, MSG 2 10, EV Hartford 11, Philly 12, Brooklyn 1 13, Brooklyn 2 13, Hartford 13, MSG 1 16, MSG 2 16, Fenway 1 16, Temple Of The Dog MSG 16
  • VedderBlueVedderBlue Posts: 40
    I hope you get to hear it. Its a great song indeed. Its a song that played live is so much better. My first time I cried when they opened with it I was so moving, it means something to me as well and I couldnt see crap from my seats really, just heard them moving around on the stage a bit and then Ed started. Still nothing no lights at all then the lights hit him and he got louder and I lost it. Mid way through the song I was still teary - I was not embarrassed. Since then I have heard it a few more times and each time it tingles my spine and raises my neck hairs. Amazing. I hope you hear it very soon - enjoy it and thanks for the story, its very touching.


    VB
    45 Shows & Counting!!!
  • To everybody who responded or just took time to read our stories, THANK YOU!! Whether you were there with us last night or somewhere else - we were all together as we found our "RELEASE" at Garden in New York!!

    For years it was a mystery of how I would react when we finally got it! There was an instant emotional breakdown of my body and soul as a wave of pure ecstasy and great sorrow hit me ALL AT ONCE!!!

    Thank you boys for giving me everything you had during these past two nights at the Garden, and giving us the "Release", that will allow us to finally get closure and move forward..................
    "See the path Cut by the Moon, for you to Walk On"
  • heartdesireheartdesire Posts: 430
    BK17 your wish was granted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "i'm a dedicated insomniac" ~ ev nyc beacon 6/22
  • EBowieEBowie Posts: 532
    Wow. Awesome. I'm really happy for you guys.
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    Glad you got it.

    I had to wait quite a while for it too. My first was in Verona. Yesterday was my second :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • MakeMeCry43MakeMeCry43 Posts: 355
    I'm really sorry for your loss and I also would like to thank you for sharing this story with a couple of strangers that you've never met before lol, that shows how much you trust the "Jamily" :P, But I am sooo glad you finally got what you wanted and I'm really happy for you that you got "Release"-d :D These boys really know what to give their fans and that song certainly does have great meaning and I also applaud you for staying at home and spending the time with your I'm sure lovely family on father's day, certainly seems like you've learned quiet a lot from your father :)...And also thanks to all for sharing your stories, while they maybe heart-breaking and painful to talk about, it is also at the same time strong and brave abd admirable....so thank you to all who shared their beautiful stories, especially you BK....And all my prayers and well wishes goes to you and your beautiful little girl for a very wonderful and prosperous life :) Future is too bright to not acknowledge it....so let's all head forward :)
    "Does anyone remember laughter?"

    "Where's Mike McCready? My god he's been ate!"

    "If you're an Elvis fan, there's no explanation necessary; if you're not, there's no explanation possible."

    "Sometimes God makes perfect people and Paul Newman was one of them." - RIP Paul Newman
  • mdg164mdg164 Posts: 206
    One day or another I'll hear Release during a PJ concert. So far I have only been to 4 shows so chances were quite low but there's no other possibility !!!

    Let me start by saying that this post has nothing to do with anyone's "story". It's just the reality of setlist statistics.

    "Release" is played more often than any other opener, by nearly a factor of 2! I've heard it at 7/34 shows, nearly 1/5. By that logic, you will hear it at your next show! :-) There is not secret to hearing "release," if you go to enough shows, you will hear it. I get sick of people hoping for "release," when all they really have to do is go to a couple of shows. You should really hope for "Sometimes" or "Oceans", true rarities.... and enjoy "Release" as a consolation prize! I'm not saying I don't like "release," or that "Sometimes" or "Oceans" are better or worse songs.
    09/02/00 09/05/00
    04/25/03 05/02/03 5/3/03 6/24/03 6/28/03 7/5/03 7/6/03 7/11/03 7/12/03 7/14/03
    09/28/04 09/29/04 10/01/04 10/02/04
    09/28/05 09/30/05 10/03/05
    5/24/06 5/25/06 5/27/06 5/28/06 5/30/06 6/01/06 6/03/06 6/23/06 6/24/06 7/22/06 7/23/06
    6/20/08 6/22/08 6/24/08 6/25/08
  • embraceembrace Posts: 849
    I don't know you, but I read your post last week before I was travelling for these shows. When I heard Release I got chills thinking of you. It was killer!

    BK17 wrote:
    Dear Pearl Jam Family,
    I'm going to tell my story which I really do not do that often, and really never to complete strangers, but as these 2 shows are rapidly approaching, I would like to get it out there!
    14 PJ shows - Never seen "Release"
    Only a true Pearl Jam fan will appreciate and understand what I went through and how a song actually saved me.....
    Dec 8 2000
    I was 25 years old. My Father "KK" was killed in a tragic train accident on Long Island. The days and months after that one quick moment were the most difficult hours, minutes, seconds of my life.
    What I found was the passion, words and music of "Release" to be my savior! Obviously growing up with PJ and listening to Release thousands of times, it was not until now that a whole new meaning has taken place for me!
    The lyrics rip through me every time I now hear that song. But because of it's power, it gave me the strength to live strong and move forward.
    In June 2008 i became a father of a beautiful daughter named after my father "KK"......As life moves forward I can only pray that he sees me being the best father I can possibly be to my little angel.
    I bought a ticket to Bonnaroo hoping and pretty much knowing that "Release" would be played being Fathers Day weekend and all, and finally stopping my search of hearing "Release" live. But as father day approached, I couldn't bear the fact to be away from her and my family on that day. I kept thinking what would my father do in this situation? I made a decision to sell the tickets and spend fathers day at home.
    Then of course finding out that the greatest most emotional "Release" was played after midnight as Eddie poured his soul into it, made me think twice. But I stand by my decision and wouldn't change it for the world.
    So here we are 4 nights away from the first of two at the Garden. I can not wait, it will be so great to see them jam again. But now is the time for me to finally see and hear "Release" so I can stop chasing the dream I have for me and my father.
    I also have a "Release" tattoo on my right shoulder with my fathers initials "KK" floating over water. If you would like to see it, send me an email as I can not figure out how to attach anything to this.
    Thank you for taking some time to read this, reply if you would like, if not - See you at the GARDEN!!!!
    Oh Dear Dad,
    Can you see me Now
    I am Myself,
    Like you Somehow

    BK
    got a car...got some gas...oh let's get out of here-get out of here fast...
    I hope you get this message but your not home...I will be there in just a minute or so...
    I want to go but I want to go with you.

    Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. -MT

    I've had enough, said enough, felt enough. I'm fine, still in it.
  • momofglynnmomofglynn Posts: 849
    I'm glad you got your song. Lost my day 18 years ago, 2 days after I turned 18. I am a mom of 2 wonderful boys, one of which I named after him..glynn. I am going to night, tomorrow and Monday. I got chills building up from your story and I know exactly what you meant by all the emotions all at one time.

    Peace
    Let's Go Red Sox!
  • benjsbenjs Posts: 9,144
    mdg164 wrote:
    Let me start by saying that this post has nothing to do with anyone's "story". It's just the reality of setlist statistics.

    "Release" is played more often than any other opener, by nearly a factor of 2! I've heard it at 7/34 shows, nearly 1/5. By that logic, you will hear it at your next show! :-) There is not secret to hearing "release," if you go to enough shows, you will hear it. I get sick of people hoping for "release," when all they really have to do is go to a couple of shows. You should really hope for "Sometimes" or "Oceans", true rarities.... and enjoy "Release" as a consolation prize! I'm not saying I don't like "release," or that "Sometimes" or "Oceans" are better or worse songs.
    I'm sorry, but I really don't like the fact that you chose to post this. This thread is not about the reality of setlist statistics - it's the reality of BK's story, and fulfillment of his wish, which, thankfully, he got. Congratulations BK.. If you believe in karma or fate or anything - I'd say it's pretty clear that this was good karma coming your way. Hope it was worth the wait. :)
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • mdg164mdg164 Posts: 206
    benjs wrote:
    I'm sorry, but I really don't like the fact that you chose to post this. This thread is not about the reality of setlist statistics - it's the reality of BK's story, and fulfillment of his wish, which, thankfully, he got. Congratulations BK.. If you believe in karma or fate or anything - I'd say it's pretty clear that this was good karma coming your way. Hope it was worth the wait. :)

    Well, that's your opinion. Everyone has a sad story, some post it on the internet, some don't. In fact it is completely about setlist statistics, if his wish was to hear "otherside," he would have been completely out of luck. Lots of people there wanted to hear a special song for a special reason. Some did, and some didn't. I'm glad this guy did, who wouldn't be? But like I already said, my post wasn't related to some guy's story. You will see that I replied to someone else who thought their chances to hear the song were "quite low." I tried to point out that I've seen it in about 1/5 shows.
    09/02/00 09/05/00
    04/25/03 05/02/03 5/3/03 6/24/03 6/28/03 7/5/03 7/6/03 7/11/03 7/12/03 7/14/03
    09/28/04 09/29/04 10/01/04 10/02/04
    09/28/05 09/30/05 10/03/05
    5/24/06 5/25/06 5/27/06 5/28/06 5/30/06 6/01/06 6/03/06 6/23/06 6/24/06 7/22/06 7/23/06
    6/20/08 6/22/08 6/24/08 6/25/08
  • benjsbenjs Posts: 9,144
    mdg164 wrote:
    Well, that's your opinion. Everyone has a sad story, some post it on the internet, some don't. In fact it is completely about setlist statistics, if his wish was to hear "otherside," he would have been completely out of luck. Lots of people there wanted to hear a special song for a special reason. Some did, and some didn't. I'm glad this guy did, who wouldn't be? But like I already said, my post wasn't related to some guy's story. You will see that I replied to someone else who thought their chances to hear the song were "quite low." I tried to point out that I've seen it in about 1/5 shows.
    My apologies, I should have read that more carefully.
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • IGotShit76IGotShit76 Posts: 768
    mdg164 wrote:
    Well, that's your opinion. Everyone has a sad story, some post it on the internet, some don't. In fact it is completely about setlist statistics, if his wish was to hear "otherside," he would have been completely out of luck. Lots of people there wanted to hear a special song for a special reason. Some did, and some didn't. I'm glad this guy did, who wouldn't be? But like I already said, my post wasn't related to some guy's story. You will see that I replied to someone else who thought their chances to hear the song were "quite low." I tried to point out that I've seen it in about 1/5 shows.

    You refer to my previous post.
    If you want to bring statistics on the table, I'm a really lucky guy since I heard Dirty Frank (only played 10 times) and Fatal (only played 3 times) during the same concert. I beat all statistics ... and between us I know that I will hear Release one day ... but you have to understand that some people can't attend as many shows as they wish. When is the next Europe tour ???

    Anyway, I'm really happy for BK17. Music is pure emotion ... some songs more than others.
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