The not so Merry Christmas thread
Thoughts_Arrive
Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
For those that don't have a merry Christmas be it due to family issues, mental illness, addiction, unemployment, grief etc.
Thought I'd kick things off.....
My Christmas is never a merry one because my mother ruins it every year for the family. She always finds something every year to get upset about without fail. It feels like it's a curse on the family that every Christmas is a sad one.
She was all upset this morning for reasons I don't know why, she gets in these moods and lashes out at everybody. Told me to leave her alone and not talk to her.
I got pissed off at being treated like that and being made to feel like I did something wrong when I didn't so I lashed out "fuck you and your Christmas".
Now she's all pissed off at me for saying that as it is a slight on Catholicism and this holy day. Plus the fact that I said hello to a mentally disturbed neighbour as he kept staring at me when I was entering my property has her upset at me (that's a story for another thread/time).
Anyhow, this evening she lashed out at me for what I said and told me that I can't even fuck a girl let alone Jesus and Christmas. That comment has pretty much stung.
Felt like venting somewhere before I tear shit up.
Thought I'd kick things off.....
My Christmas is never a merry one because my mother ruins it every year for the family. She always finds something every year to get upset about without fail. It feels like it's a curse on the family that every Christmas is a sad one.
She was all upset this morning for reasons I don't know why, she gets in these moods and lashes out at everybody. Told me to leave her alone and not talk to her.
I got pissed off at being treated like that and being made to feel like I did something wrong when I didn't so I lashed out "fuck you and your Christmas".
Now she's all pissed off at me for saying that as it is a slight on Catholicism and this holy day. Plus the fact that I said hello to a mentally disturbed neighbour as he kept staring at me when I was entering my property has her upset at me (that's a story for another thread/time).
Anyhow, this evening she lashed out at me for what I said and told me that I can't even fuck a girl let alone Jesus and Christmas. That comment has pretty much stung.
Felt like venting somewhere before I tear shit up.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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I have not enjoyed Christmas since my mom passed in 2014, her Christmas meal was the best and she loved Christmas. As you may or may not know, I have been separated from my wife for a year. She left Dec 30th last year, I am confident she was cheating. So this Friday I begin a divorce action.
So yeah, Christmas will always suck for me.
Yeah I was aware of your marital situation but not your mum. I am sorry for your loss. Do you have her recipes so you can cook like she did?
Thanks for replying.
I am feeling quite down now after what was a great day. Chatted online to my best friend and he said that I sound good.
Little does he know how it has turned sour since we chatted 2 hours ago.
I cannot remember a happy Christmas since I was a little child.
Now my mum is in bed and ignoring me after I tried to explain I meant HER Christmas and how she always ruins it and not Christmas in general.
She acts like such a good Catholic, goes to church on boxing day and the day after because they are some holy days too.
She organised for a priest to visit this Thursday to bless the house. I'll make sure I am not here as I do not want to be lectured by some asshole as to why I don't go to church.
She also said she is going to tell everyone (relatives and her friends) what I said, like I give a shit.
At my lowest a few years ago I was choking back tears when I was out doing grocery shopping on Christmas eve seeing all the happy couples and families around me and knowing I am alone.
Well I keep saying it to myself but I am still feeling low.
The good news in my divorce, I lose the batshit crazy mother in law ... she is a holy roller from hell. She believes Noah's Ark happened. She attends weekly bible study sessions. Trust me, you and I are better than she ever is.
My Mom's last few years were not good. Mother's Day of 2011, my brother never called and wished her a happy mother's day. He lived in Calgary, my parents lived in Southern Ontario, she knew something was wrong, she called the Calgary police, they called back 4 hours later, he was found dead in his kitchen...Imagine being a mother, being told your eldest son died on Mother's Day. My brother had a mild stroke 10 years before his death, it left him with seizure's, he also battled alcohol most of his life.
I can not imagine what my mother went through. Mother's Day meant nothing to her after that day. And I don't blame her.
All I can is hang in there.
Yeah it's hard to recover from the loss of a loved one. You only learn to cope.
Sounds like your former mother in law would make great friends with my mother.
My mum wants a Christmas with all of us together but it won't happen because me and my sister are estranged from our other sister plus both sisters do their own thing with their own families. But her ruining Christmas has been going on before our family broke apart.
I'm not looking for solutions I just needed to vent here.
I love the festivity of this time of the year, to me having a good time with those you love sounds good even if you're not religious.
That's what I want, to be happy, eat good food, enjoy summer. But my mum is a black hole.
But with my mother it's always a stressful two days, Christmas eve and day.
Thank you.
In addition to demanding public contact jobs I have also dealt with dysfunctional family dynamics for as long as I can remember. It's not a parent but a sibling who is a hypercritical control freak that creates a lot of anxiety and conflict. I have tried to argue or settle the situation for years but now I know that this person is not going to change and to expect negative actions as it seems your mother has always done also. It's rough but I just don't engage in the bullshit and try to remember that they are unhappy people who can't help lashing out to make themselves feel better. I actually pity them because it's a sad way to live. And once they see their bullying isn't controlling you they may ease up but they won't ever really change and it's up to you to figure out the best ways to preserve your own sanity and self worth.
The idea of getting away and visiting with people who would love to have company is great. If you aren't up to that go for a long walk and absorb the nature and sky.
Best thoughts going out to you both. Have a not so Merry Christmas but wishes for a Happier New Year in 2019.
Gee your sibling sounds exactly like my sister who I am estranged from due to her behaviour.
I feel like just getting away and hiding alone for the day. Don't know where to go sadly.
Dublin 2010
Madrid 2018
Werchter 2022
London 1 2022
London 2 2022
Krakow 2022
thoughts, hang in there. In a week it will be over. Good idea going to the gardens. When it gets to stressful remember to just breath. It’s not easy.
Camsjam, great advice.
As for myself I try to stay strong, it’s not easy sometimes. I am spending Christmas Eve and Day with my Dad. We get along good, so i’m Less alone. But there is a void. I do know my marriage was over before it was official in my wife’s eyes. 3 weeks before she left me, i was crossing the street as a pedestrian and some lady made her ornament, fortunately I only had minor injuries and a concussion.
Everyone who is struggling, stay safe, be strong and be kind. Even an asshole like me has been kind and patient when out and about..
i will I’ll be checking these boards throughout Christmas. Vent if need be.
Here are photos of my day out. I took these for painting ideas (497 photos).
They have a Californian garden.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1dmf_Xt1ul-URVWmuH9ApOffAMDKBtTqJ?usp=sharing
Fucking.
I don't think California. He's in Australia. I think the garden was called a 'California garden'.
Cheers you two.
Thoughts... the sun always comes out from behind the clouds. There'll come a time when you are ready to leave yourself exposed to rejection and failure... only to result in something very rewarding for your life. Everyone on here has experienced personal failure in relationships and failure in establishing them. Of course those failures are not fun and they don't feel very good, but they are necessary.
There's someone for everyone and those someone aren't hard to find if you aren't so damn guarded. I mean... look at Scruffy for example ( @mcgruff10 ). At first glance, he isn't much, but if you give that goofy bugger a chance... he ends up being okay. If he can find a wife... hell... an orangutan can.
I'm sure you got an orangutan beat! You got good taste in music- there's a start to defining your character. You write very well- you're intelligent (this is not an underrated asset). And I'll stop there.
I tried to orchestrate each picture how I'd like it to appear in a painting.
It is at the Royal Botanic Gardens in my city of Melbourne, Australia.