Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

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  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Is Tinder not treating you well these days, spiritual?
    Should get on Tinder maybe. Find that special one...
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    No
    Have you found her yet???
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    edited April 2019
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Have you found her yet???
    I had one. But she couldn't take a joke. So it stopped before it began. But let me say:If I behave, can you arrange a spacious hole in the ground?
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    No
    Oh Lord. Which Avenger did you dress up as?
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Oh Lord. Which Avenger did you dress up as?


    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • OffSheGoes35
    OffSheGoes35 Posts: 3,517
    No
    :rofl:
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,665
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Have you found her yet???
    I had one. But she couldn't take a joke. So it stopped before it began. But let me say:If I behave, can you arrange a spacious hole in the ground?
    Can you tell us what joke(s) she couldn't take? I'm so curious!
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    edited April 2019
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Have you found her yet???
    I had one. But she couldn't take a joke. So it stopped before it began. But let me say:If I behave, can you arrange a spacious hole in the ground?
    Can you tell us what joke(s) she couldn't take? I'm so curious!
    There was a documentary released in Sweden this spring that got a lot of attention. It is about swedish artist Josefin Nilsson who died some time ago. For her late 50th birthday this documentary was released, and what got a lot of focus was a relationship she had in the 90s with a very famous swedish actor (not named in the documentary, but everyone in Sweden knows who they refer to in the film - lets call him Ragnar) that beat her, and harassed her during their relationship and also for a long time afterwards. Real piece of shit. 

    The girl I was seeing, told me on messenger she was watching the documentary and how sad it was.

    And I responded "So I take it, you are not team Ragnar?"

    Pretty much that. Not the most tactful joke, even with its (to me obvious) absurd:ness. But to my defense, it had worked on my colleagues when we discussed the documentary at work.

    Here is Josefin (more famous for her swedish stuff ):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SPf-G-t64Y

    She is very charming in a swedish rom-com called "Adam and Eve", I think it might be her only acting role maybe:


    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • darwinstheory
    darwinstheory LaPorte, IN Posts: 7,357
    Yes
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    "A smart monkey doesn't monkey around with another monkey's monkey" - Darwin's Theory
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    edited April 2019
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    We had slept together maybe a dozen times when I told the joke. And the day before that, she had told me her dad had asked if I was coming along to copenhagen when they were gonna celebrate his 60th birthday there.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,458
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    yeah, you could assume domestic abuse humour wouldn't go over well in online dating. LOL
    Hugh Freaking Dillon is currently out of the office, returning sometime in the fall




  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,665
    edited April 2019
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    OffSheGoes35 said:
    Have you found her yet???
    I had one. But she couldn't take a joke. So it stopped before it began. But let me say:If I behave, can you arrange a spacious hole in the ground?
    Can you tell us what joke(s) she couldn't take? I'm so curious!
    There was a documentary released in Sweden this spring that got a lot of attention. It is about swedish artist Josefin Nilsson who died some time ago. For her late 50th birthday this documentary was released, and what got a lot of focus was a relationship she had in the 90s with a very famous swedish actor (not named in the documentary, but everyone in Sweden knows who they refer to in the film - lets call him Ragnar) that beat her, and harassed her during their relationship and also for a long time afterwards. Real piece of shit. 

    The girl I was seeing, told me on messenger she was watching the documentary and how sad it was.

    And I responded "So I take it, you are not team Ragnar?"

    Pretty much that. Not the most tactful joke, even with its (to me obvious) absurd:ness. But to my defense, it had worked on my colleagues when we discussed the documentary at work.



    Yup, that is WAY too sensitive IMO - good call on ditching her before it went further!
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,665
    edited April 2019
    Yes
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    I think that if you feel you have to hold back like that in order to "hook up", you shouldn't bother with that person at all. Find someone who can take you as you are. I HATE knowing that guys kind of fake their way through the beginnings of relationships like that, only showing their "best side". That's the WORST. If I'm dating a guy who is okay with something I'm not okay with (not that off-side jokes would qualify for me, of course), I want to know that BEFORE I waste my time, not after.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • darwinstheory
    darwinstheory LaPorte, IN Posts: 7,357
    Yes
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    We had slept together maybe a dozen times when I told the joke. And the day before that, she had told me her dad had asked if I was coming along to copenhagen when they were gonna celebrate his 60th birthday there.
    Well shit....you were well within your rights to make such a joke. 
    "A smart monkey doesn't monkey around with another monkey's monkey" - Darwin's Theory
  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,458
    darwinstheory said:
    Spiritual_Chaos said:
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    We had slept together maybe a dozen times when I told the joke. And the day before that, she had told me her dad had asked if I was coming along to copenhagen when they were gonna celebrate his 60th birthday there.
    Well shit....you were well within your rights to make such a joke. 
    agreed. I thought this was only during the hook up/online phase. 
    Hugh Freaking Dillon is currently out of the office, returning sometime in the fall




  • HughFreakingDillon
    HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 39,458
    PJ_Soul said:
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    I think that if you feel you have to hold back like that in order to "hook up", you shouldn't bother with that person at all. Find someone who can take you as you are. I HATE knowing that guys kind of fake their way through the beginnings of relationships like that, only showing their "best side". That's the WORST. If I'm dating a guy who is okay with something I'm not okay with (not that off-side jokes would qualify for me, of course), I want to know that BEFORE I waste my time, not after.
    it's not "holding back" by not making a domestic abuse joke online (initially what we thought). you don't know if this woman had been abused before. that's just simply not very smart dating tactics. 
    Hugh Freaking Dillon is currently out of the office, returning sometime in the fall




  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    .... now let me tell you about when a woman at work reported me to HR two we...




    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    PJ_Soul said:
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    I think that if you feel you have to hold back like that in order to "hook up", you shouldn't bother with that person at all. Find someone who can take you as you are. I HATE knowing that guys kind of fake their way through the beginnings of relationships like that, only showing their "best side". That's the WORST. If I'm dating a guy who is okay with something I'm not okay with (not that off-side jokes would qualify for me, of course), I want to know that BEFORE I waste my time, not after.
    Threading gently, and feeling your surroundings and where you have eachother isn't really "faking" it IMO. People do often tell me this though at parties because of my played-up bluntness:


    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,665
    edited April 2019
    Yes
    HughFreakingDillon said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    darwinstheory said:
    That's the kind of joke I would make to those that know me. I like that fine line and recognize that a joke can be just that, and nothing more. 

    But I would not make that joke online to a woman I was trying to hook up with. 
    I think that if you feel you have to hold back like that in order to "hook up", you shouldn't bother with that person at all. Find someone who can take you as you are. I HATE knowing that guys kind of fake their way through the beginnings of relationships like that, only showing their "best side". That's the WORST. If I'm dating a guy who is okay with something I'm not okay with (not that off-side jokes would qualify for me, of course), I want to know that BEFORE I waste my time, not after.
    it's not "holding back" by not making a domestic abuse joke online (initially what we thought). you don't know if this woman had been abused before. that's just simply not very smart dating tactics. 
    I think it was a really tame joke no matter who the audience was... I think that is more the point. If someone thinks that's an acceptable joke, so that he actually said it comfortably, then she should be on the same page. Obviously she wasn't, which is why he ended it with her. Because she indeed couldn't take a joke that he's okay with. Better to get things like that worked out right away. And of course, you know me when it comes to this - if that kind of joke offends someone enough for it to be "an issue", then I also wouldn't want anything to do with them. The people I want to be around really do have to take jokes a lot better than that, no matter what the subject matter is and their personal connection to the subject matter. Figuring out those limits earlier rather than later is definitely a good thing! Therefore, I think saying such a joke early IS a very smart dating tactic! Find out what you can get away with asap, lol.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,460
    edited April 2019
    PJ_Soul said:
    Obviously she wasn't, which is why he ended it with her. 
    She ended it with me though. I guess she gave me some kind of open to saying I was sorry. But I didn't take it. I eyerolled my way out of there. Like a man! *highfives*
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"

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