Present Tense

smobeepjsmobeepj Posts: 58
I have a sad story to tell about the song Present Tense. Back in June of 2003, my Grandmother was dying of cancer. She was in a place called Hospice where terminnally ill people go and have a peaceful place to pass away.

The last time that I saw her alive, was two days before she died and she was in a coma. I stood there holding her hand and wanted to say something to her for the last time but I just could get any words to come out of my mouth. When she passed away two days later, the pastor suggested to my mom that maybe I could write down memories that I had and write down my goodbyes since I couldn't do it in person.

So I did. I felt really bad about not going to see her very much over the last year and when I started writing to her, I started to hear Present Tense in my head. So I wrote down all of the words in my goodbye letter as a way to ease the pain I was feeling.

At the wake, I let my mom read what I wrote and I figured that would be the last time it would be read, I was wrong. My mother thought the words that I wrote were special so she gave it to the pastor to read. You would not believe what happened next.

During the funeral at the church, the pastor brought me up and how I was unable to speak to my grandmother the last time I saw her and let everyone know what he suggested. Then he read every word I wrote at the funeral, Present Tense and all.

You have no idea what that was liek and it is imposible for me to describe it to you. I saw PJ during the 2003 tour and they played Present Tense 2 or 3 times. The first of which tore me apart.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • KaddikatKaddikat Posts: 1,194
    *hugs*

    sorry for your loss, and you are correct. no one else has any idea what it was like. :(

    Isnt it amazing how music can help us through life?

    hang in there!
    **Get outa my way, just step aside, or pay the price ~ AC/DC**

    You make me feel uncalm and I think I like it - 311

    JEFF ROX MY SOX!

    "Jeff is just a badass all the way across the board" ~aNiMaL~

    "Chill out Kaddikat"
  • sorry for your loss , definitely one of there best , it takes me to another place too.
    Clear eyes, Full hearts, CAN'T LOSE!
  • {[No_Code}]{[No_Code}] Posts: 4,059
    that's so sad :(

    the lyrics says a lot...
    So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow. But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself. It is best to compose a poem, an honest longing or simple song of hope.
    That is why I'm singing
  • The words of Present Tense have made me cry many times. I have lost someone very close to me also so I sorta can relate to what your going through. Hang in there, I promise it won't always be so painfull.
  • I'm so sorry. This song is definitely close to my heart, too. Great song, great message.
  • i forgeti forget Posts: 281
    Sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your story. Cherish those memories.
  • Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. I am sorry for your loss but I think that it is great that you had something you could relate to at that time. I think "Present Tense" is probably one of the best songs PJ does because of the lyrics. It really makes you think about life.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me..." -'Release' PJ
  • I am also so sorry for your loss
    I have a similar story my Grandmother also died of cancer, that was almost 17 years ago. My first baby girl was born right before she passed away, so she got to see her. However, my ex was stationed in Germany so I had to go back there, and wasnt home when she passed on. I always fealt so guilty about it, but later on she came to me in my dreams, and told me everything was ok. Years later as I read the lyrics to Present Tense, it chokes me up thinking about her and how much those words mean. Thank you for sharing your story. I love how music can relate to so many things. And i dont know too many pearl jam lyrics that someone cant relate to.
    If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different....I'd rather be completely fucking mental.
    (Angelina Jolie)
  • The power of music, especially Pearl Jams music to me, is a wonderful thing. Thank you to all that responded with the kind words.
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