Good evening, and welcome to the 2019 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. After last year’s uproar, I’ve been instructed to use only dignified language and humor considered appropriate for our current cultural discourse.
Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Year’s Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!
As for the First Lady, I did try and fuck Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.
In closing, I will reserve my most civil words for the president himself, who has finally made an appearance at this dinner. Bad (or sick) guy!
Comments
"...I changed by not changing at all..."
"...I changed by not changing at all..."
Negative means Fake? Trump is a loon.
His State run media, Fox, couldn't even spin his lunacy this week. They kept trying to help him but he kept fucking it up.