Options
Song of the day(Alive)
JDE-PJ
Posts: 721
Here is another blast from the past, the 3rd song off of Ten, and don't be shy people, you guys should add your thoughts on these songs as well, okay:)
RrVwMirror
1/12/01 7:37 PM
SOTD: ...ALIVE
El Conquistador
8/5/99 10:21 AM
ALIVE!!!!!!!
okay here is the new one:
ALIVE
Son, she said, have I got a little story for you
What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen
Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked...
Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey...oh...
Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room
She said I'm ready...for you
I can't remember anything to this very day
'Cept the look, the look...
Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare...
I, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Hey I, boy, I'm still alive
Hey I, I, I, I'm still alive, yeah
Ooh yeah...yeah yeah yeah...oh...oh...
Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers...
I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Yeah I, ooh, I'm still alive
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Elegant-Waste
8/5/99 10:29 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Alive is part realistic and part fictional. It's fairly to interpret this song. We all know the story about Ed thinking his step-dad was actually his biological dad. "Alive" is about his mom telling him who his real father was: "Son, she said, have I got a little story for you"..."What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a..." Ed doesn't finish writing the line about his step dad. Why? "While you were sitting home alone at age thirteen...you're real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked." This is the part I don't understand. Ed DID meet his father. While he was living in Chicago, his father would come to the house often and spend time with Ed, however Ed didn't know this was his dad, but a friend of the family. But I think it means he didn't meet this man as his father, but only as a friend. Then the song takes a fictional turn, probably a way Ed thought of linking the trilogy together. "She walks slowly across the young man's room...she said I'm ready...for you". The mother sees how much the character looks like his father and becomes physically attracted to the boy. The husband was someone that woman loved very much, but now he's gone. The only way she can get him back is through the son since he's exactly like the father. The boy doesn't understand anything that is going on, he's confused about everything, he just finds out who his real father is, and suddenly the mother starts coming onto him. The only thing he knows is: "I'm still alive".
The line "I can't remember anything to do very day...'cept the look...the look...oh, you know where...now I can't see I just stare" doesn't mean the look on her face, it's look between..uhm, hmm...her legs, because of the "you know where". (That's what Eddie even said, so don't think I'm some kinda perv!)
The line "Is something wrong she said...well, of course there is...You're still alive she said". The mother is mistaking the boy for her dead husband. So now "I'm still alive" is the boy talking for his father, that he's alive again and back with his wife. Then the incest begins and it screws the boy up. In his adulthood he doesn't know how to deal with this and turns into a serial killer, and the trilogy continues...
Some of this stuff I've heard in the past and other stuff are my ideas of the song.
-My My Hey Hey Pearl Jam Is Here To Stay-
cheekywombat
8/5/99 10:40 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Well, this one's pretty obvious in terms of the lyrical significance & in keeping with the whole trilogy/mini opera thingy...but, for me personally, it pulls out some neat memories...I think the chorus reflects the characters care free abandon regarding his life & living...at the same time I feel it celebrates life, in a crazy, footloose kinda way...a few years ago a bunch of my buddies & I went fishing up north & at night we got really pissed up...as we drove back to our cottage, on the dark, winding two lane autoroute (which was busy with huge logging trucks barreling down in the opposite direction) my bud Rob drove & Eric & I climbed out the windows of the car, facing each other & hung over backwards towards the road as we drove approx. 120 km/hr...we'd hi-five each other over the roof of the car & Alive was playing...we sang it in drunkanese at the top of our lungs.... & miraculously made it to the cottage safely...(I am by no means condoning drunk driving.) It was a good little trip, which I think of everytime I hear this song.
RrVwMirror
8/5/99 10:47 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I think the part "sorry you didn't see him"...means before he died, so he could talk to him...that's how I always understood it anyway. I think the part where the boy says "I'm still alive"... is directed towards his mother, not his father. I think he is trying to tell her, it is HIM that is alive, NOT her HUSBAND who he represents to her...I don't know just how I always thought it to be...
RrVwMirror
8/5/99 10:51 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Cheeky....I'm glad you are still ALIVE!
Good story thoough, I bet that song pumps you up everytime you hear it!
cheekywombat
8/5/99 11:25 AM
heh, heh.,.yeah...thanks RrVwMirror...;o)
Pretty much every song off of Ten gets me real pumped..Great album to workout to...One thing I'd like to point out too (apart from the fact that I really do frown upon impared driving) is the fact that I see this song in a positive light, regardless of its enraging topic...sometimes rage, anger, apathy, ecstasy & joy are all emotions that can go hand in hand....if you back up one song ..I believe it goes.."Oh, dark grin, he can't help, when he's happy looks insane"...Wiggin' out like a cheekywombat from time to time is a sure fire way of making sure you're ALIVE! (so long as you're careful...)
pearljamgirl
8/5/99 11:56 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Great interpretation!!! I don't think I really knew that story about Ed's father. I knew his biological father died and his stepfather raised him, but I didn't know that he wasn't aware of his biological father at a young age.
That's similar to my own father's history. My father was raised by his stepfather, but he always thought he was his real father until he was drafted in the Army for Vietnam. His birth certificate had his biological father's name. So this was hard on him at the age of 18. He later found out that he had been visited by his real father at young age, but always thought he was a family friend not his father. One difference between Eddie's situation is that my father kept his step dad's name because he always had that name. He didn't want to possibly die in Vietnam with a name that was never really his. Anyway I just thought I'd share a little personal information. I wonder why parents chose not to inform the children of the true ancestry.
jcborges
8/5/99 11:56 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Great analysis! It's funny, because this was the very first song that I ever heard from Pearl Jam, when I had never even heard OF them. I just thought 'Cool rythm, nice song to bang heads to' (it was in the wake of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana video, so there was this mosh fever in hard-rock discos). It was only after I started LISTENING to Pearl Jam as a whole and becoming enamored of some of the other songs that I took closer notice of the lyrics in this one (like "There's got to be something more to it"). Still, this is still a song that is more connected with reckless youth to me, like CheekyWombat's story, than to the broken youth that it describes.
ElegantWaste was very thorough, so I'll just point out a small issue on which I disagree: the "You're still alive she said" part to me is the mother downplaying the boy's hurt for being abused, not mistaking him for his dead father, it's basically something like "Don't be a whinny, it didn't kill you", as "Do I deserve to be" is the boy's guilt for letting it happen.
It's curious how all this had never come to my mind until we wrote about "once" the other day... I can finally feel for the guy in the song instead of just screaming it from the top of my lungs...
<b>João da Câmara Borges</b>
"Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel"
RrVwMirror
1/12/01 7:37 PM
SOTD: ...ALIVE
El Conquistador
8/5/99 10:21 AM
ALIVE!!!!!!!
okay here is the new one:
ALIVE
Son, she said, have I got a little story for you
What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen
Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked...
Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey...oh...
Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room
She said I'm ready...for you
I can't remember anything to this very day
'Cept the look, the look...
Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare...
I, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Hey I, boy, I'm still alive
Hey I, I, I, I'm still alive, yeah
Ooh yeah...yeah yeah yeah...oh...oh...
Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers...
I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Yeah I, ooh, I'm still alive
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Elegant-Waste
8/5/99 10:29 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Alive is part realistic and part fictional. It's fairly to interpret this song. We all know the story about Ed thinking his step-dad was actually his biological dad. "Alive" is about his mom telling him who his real father was: "Son, she said, have I got a little story for you"..."What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a..." Ed doesn't finish writing the line about his step dad. Why? "While you were sitting home alone at age thirteen...you're real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked." This is the part I don't understand. Ed DID meet his father. While he was living in Chicago, his father would come to the house often and spend time with Ed, however Ed didn't know this was his dad, but a friend of the family. But I think it means he didn't meet this man as his father, but only as a friend. Then the song takes a fictional turn, probably a way Ed thought of linking the trilogy together. "She walks slowly across the young man's room...she said I'm ready...for you". The mother sees how much the character looks like his father and becomes physically attracted to the boy. The husband was someone that woman loved very much, but now he's gone. The only way she can get him back is through the son since he's exactly like the father. The boy doesn't understand anything that is going on, he's confused about everything, he just finds out who his real father is, and suddenly the mother starts coming onto him. The only thing he knows is: "I'm still alive".
The line "I can't remember anything to do very day...'cept the look...the look...oh, you know where...now I can't see I just stare" doesn't mean the look on her face, it's look between..uhm, hmm...her legs, because of the "you know where". (That's what Eddie even said, so don't think I'm some kinda perv!)
The line "Is something wrong she said...well, of course there is...You're still alive she said". The mother is mistaking the boy for her dead husband. So now "I'm still alive" is the boy talking for his father, that he's alive again and back with his wife. Then the incest begins and it screws the boy up. In his adulthood he doesn't know how to deal with this and turns into a serial killer, and the trilogy continues...
Some of this stuff I've heard in the past and other stuff are my ideas of the song.
-My My Hey Hey Pearl Jam Is Here To Stay-
cheekywombat
8/5/99 10:40 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Well, this one's pretty obvious in terms of the lyrical significance & in keeping with the whole trilogy/mini opera thingy...but, for me personally, it pulls out some neat memories...I think the chorus reflects the characters care free abandon regarding his life & living...at the same time I feel it celebrates life, in a crazy, footloose kinda way...a few years ago a bunch of my buddies & I went fishing up north & at night we got really pissed up...as we drove back to our cottage, on the dark, winding two lane autoroute (which was busy with huge logging trucks barreling down in the opposite direction) my bud Rob drove & Eric & I climbed out the windows of the car, facing each other & hung over backwards towards the road as we drove approx. 120 km/hr...we'd hi-five each other over the roof of the car & Alive was playing...we sang it in drunkanese at the top of our lungs.... & miraculously made it to the cottage safely...(I am by no means condoning drunk driving.) It was a good little trip, which I think of everytime I hear this song.
RrVwMirror
8/5/99 10:47 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I think the part "sorry you didn't see him"...means before he died, so he could talk to him...that's how I always understood it anyway. I think the part where the boy says "I'm still alive"... is directed towards his mother, not his father. I think he is trying to tell her, it is HIM that is alive, NOT her HUSBAND who he represents to her...I don't know just how I always thought it to be...
RrVwMirror
8/5/99 10:51 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Cheeky....I'm glad you are still ALIVE!
Good story thoough, I bet that song pumps you up everytime you hear it!
cheekywombat
8/5/99 11:25 AM
heh, heh.,.yeah...thanks RrVwMirror...;o)
Pretty much every song off of Ten gets me real pumped..Great album to workout to...One thing I'd like to point out too (apart from the fact that I really do frown upon impared driving) is the fact that I see this song in a positive light, regardless of its enraging topic...sometimes rage, anger, apathy, ecstasy & joy are all emotions that can go hand in hand....if you back up one song ..I believe it goes.."Oh, dark grin, he can't help, when he's happy looks insane"...Wiggin' out like a cheekywombat from time to time is a sure fire way of making sure you're ALIVE! (so long as you're careful...)
pearljamgirl
8/5/99 11:56 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Great interpretation!!! I don't think I really knew that story about Ed's father. I knew his biological father died and his stepfather raised him, but I didn't know that he wasn't aware of his biological father at a young age.
That's similar to my own father's history. My father was raised by his stepfather, but he always thought he was his real father until he was drafted in the Army for Vietnam. His birth certificate had his biological father's name. So this was hard on him at the age of 18. He later found out that he had been visited by his real father at young age, but always thought he was a family friend not his father. One difference between Eddie's situation is that my father kept his step dad's name because he always had that name. He didn't want to possibly die in Vietnam with a name that was never really his. Anyway I just thought I'd share a little personal information. I wonder why parents chose not to inform the children of the true ancestry.
jcborges
8/5/99 11:56 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Great analysis! It's funny, because this was the very first song that I ever heard from Pearl Jam, when I had never even heard OF them. I just thought 'Cool rythm, nice song to bang heads to' (it was in the wake of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana video, so there was this mosh fever in hard-rock discos). It was only after I started LISTENING to Pearl Jam as a whole and becoming enamored of some of the other songs that I took closer notice of the lyrics in this one (like "There's got to be something more to it"). Still, this is still a song that is more connected with reckless youth to me, like CheekyWombat's story, than to the broken youth that it describes.
ElegantWaste was very thorough, so I'll just point out a small issue on which I disagree: the "You're still alive she said" part to me is the mother downplaying the boy's hurt for being abused, not mistaking him for his dead father, it's basically something like "Don't be a whinny, it didn't kill you", as "Do I deserve to be" is the boy's guilt for letting it happen.
It's curious how all this had never come to my mind until we wrote about "once" the other day... I can finally feel for the guy in the song instead of just screaming it from the top of my lungs...
<b>João da Câmara Borges</b>
"Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel"
I know someday you will have a beautiful Life
Jason
Jason
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
8/5/99 1:38 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Because you think they'll be happier if they don't think they were deserted.
Because you think they might think it had something to do with them, specially if it had, and you don't want them to blame themselves.
Because you're afraid that they will be angry and rebellious and will throw it in your face that you're not their father every chance they get.
Because you love them as your true sons and daughters and you want them to love you like a father and not as a stepfather.
Because you're jealous of the guy who fathered them and who won over your wife before you did.
Because you're afraid they'll want to know their biological father and that they might love him better than they love you, and you'll end up losing them.
Because maybe their father was a bastard and you want to shelter them from that truth.
Because after you lied to your children for years, you don't have the courage to admit to the lie anymore.
If there was a reason, it was you...
<b>João da Câmara Borges</b>
"Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel"
JamFan
8/5/99 2:02 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
This is the first PJ song that I ever heard, so it has a lot of importance there. But when Eddie sings it, he put so much feeling into it, and you can tell that this song is really personal to him. I couldn't imagine going through that kind of stuff with my parents. It is really hard to imagine that Eddie is still alive!
I don't want to take what you can give. I would rather starve that eat your bread.-EV
Schumi
8/5/99 2:50 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
For me, the key part is:
Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers...
It makes me think that the chorus is not a celebration of him being alive, but more of a lamentation. I think Ed has talked about how he contemplated suicide as a teenager (and I think he credited The Who's music with saving him). On the other hand, he sometimes introduces the song in concert as if it is positive (i.e. on the Oceans single) and sings "You're still alive".
pirch
8/5/99 3:18 PM
huza
this song is truly amazing. whenever i think of the "is something wrong . . . who answers, who answers" part, i think, who else could write this? whoe else could articulate these thoughts and put them into these words. it's one thing to have these experience, to understand and come to terms with them, to be open enough to share them with the world, but to find these words . . . i'm awed. these guys leave the rest of the music world light years behind in their wake. there is for me, honestly, no comparison.
i'm a rhinocerous with skin two feet thick
El Conquistador
8/5/99 5:00 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I think you guys covered this one pretty well, but let's keep this rolling....if anyone has any more stories, comments, etc let us know!!!
brokenarrow
8/5/99 5:32 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
........This is a tough one for me to even talk about.....Kind of ironic it's the first PJ tune I EVER heard...
..........Perhaps it's why I loved them so much right from the very begining.
.....2 and a half years before I heard this tune I had a near-death experience. But I don't really want to talk about it right now, Let's just say it's real enough kiddies....Nothing to fear...just show love and graciousness in your life, never harm a soul!
......But, I also relate to this song for the Dad end of it....I didn't have one. Alcoholism can be a very ugly and nasty thing.....so ugly it'll rip a family apart from the inside out. I wouldn't even receive a birthday card, Christmas...nothing. My Mom is Wonderful....very strong lady...I've learned everything from her, but sometimes shit happens, that even the most loving parent has no idea about........This is too hard kidlets....I'm stopping here.
.......This song is Amazing......I'm still alive.....You're still alive....
....You're still alive she said.....Oh do I deserve to be?
............Fuckin' hell yes, I deserve to be! Very theraputic song!
....Last summer, I swear Ed and I were singing directly to one another..The fellow I was with said the same thing! Beautiful Kids, just beautiful!
...brokenarrow>
RrVwMirror
8/5/99 6:36 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing that Brokenarrow! Isn't it amazing ~ the power of music! I will always listen to that song in a different way now, I will think of the positive power it gave to my friend Brokenarrow!
Jason
~Jeff Ament
8/5/99 7:13 PM
You're a Sweet person!!!!
.........As I said earlier! It is a very powerful song.....and will always mean alot to me!.......Thanks for your kind words my Rearviewmirrored friend.....You know what I have on my rearviewmirror? A Pearl Jam Air-Freshner.....Thank God that funky vanilla/pine whatever scent, that was on it has worn off!.....brokenarrow>
El Conquistador
8/5/99 7:40 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
Okay, I might go over some stuff that has already been said, but here is my view (I just got time to post....busy day!!!!)
Okay, this is a story not about Ed but about a fictional person that Ed made up by combining stuff that happened to him and things that he imagined or learned happened to someone else....I don't think you can break it down to it is a true story to a certain point....It is a mixture of fact and fiction throughout the song...
I think the theme of this song is hope rising out of abuse...
now we move into the abuse...
"Son, she said, have I got a little story for you
What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen
Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked..."
This shows how much disrespect the mother had from the start...it seems almost like a casual half hearted conversation on her part....it is like she tells him what she has to say, then it is over...she kind of dumps it on him and quickly walks away...
"Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked..."
From here, the character explodes into his cry of hope....
"Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey...oh..."
Yes, he is getting beat down...he is dealing with all he can handle...BUT...he still has hope
next enter the mother again...the sexual abuse starts... (I would not have gathered that this was an incest situation, except for that eddie says that this song is about incest and other bad things...)
"Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room
She said I'm ready...for you
I can't remember anything to this very day
'Cept the look, the look...
Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare..."
This is more graphic....it is like she is almost (if not completely) raping him...but he can't fight back...he only has an image burned in his head now...he has forced the memories out of his head...he can't deal with it....but he still has the image of his mother's "you know where".
At this point, it seems to me like life had no purpose, there would be no reason to go on...you were lied to...lost your father....and raped by your mother..
But out comes the cry of hope and resilience again....
"Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey...oh..."
but here comes the turning point....the mother confronts him again...
"Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers..."
she asks him is anything wrong...and he stands up and basically says, "of course there is, you should be dead you bitch..."
But then she basically retaliates with, "Well maybe I should...but who determines that? who controls that?..."
Then there is one last cry of hope....before he snaps......we then lead into once....
I basically look at it this way...the trilogy works like this as far as themes...
"Alive" - hope through abuse
"once" - uncontrollable anger, uncertainty, and murder
"Footsteps" - coping with regret
EVedder23
8/5/99 10:28 PM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I just read the posts in this thread, and I felt like I needed to add to a couple of them. One of them talks about how Eddie sometimes says "you're still alive" in concert. That, to me, makes the song even more powerful than it already is. Something about the way he says it...screams it really. Just the tone in his screaming voice hits you right in the pit of your stomach, and somehow, I feel like he's talking to me. I think each one of us, for our own reasons can feel that. The other thing I wanted to say was, one of the posts said something about how Eddie contemplated suicide as a teenager. And I already knew that, but every time I read about it somewhere, I get so upset. What if he did it? Where the hell would we all be without him right now? That really bothers me, I have to stop thinking about it. I hate when I get all emotional when I read these posts.
Love~EVedder
"...of course there is. you're still alive she said.."
MFC
8/6/99 00:33 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
this is THE song for me.. like everyone else who ever heard it, i think it hold meaning. it WAS the anthem for youth when it came out.. i AM still alive.. i have risen above this. i will go on. i remember waaaay back when i had no friends. i was like, so picked on.. it wasnt even funny.. i was fat, wore glasses.. and went to a school were everyone judged you on your clothes/money/yadda yadda yadda. i also hated music.. for some odd reason. the very first CD i ever bought was Ten.. because of this song right here.. i like to say PJ turned my life around.. i lost weight.. got contacts.. went to another school were everyone was my friend.. i am now a senior and playing varsity football.. im happy. have friends.. and life is very very cool..
everytime i listen to Alive, i remember all of what has happened in my life.. two suicide attempts.. shrinks.. man.. i was pretty fucked up. Thanks Eddie.
'there's alot to be said for Nowhere.'
-robby
Jason
8/6/99 00:51 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!, my interpretation
I know I'm a little late for this, but better late than never. I'm just going to go through the song with my interpretation, everybody's posts have been really great and inspiring so far, and I'm probably going to agree with a lot of you on certain parts of the song. Here goes:
The song starts out with his mother sitting him down, and telling him about his dead father. When it says, "what you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a..." He obviously never finishes this sentence; I think because, at the time, Eddie really really hated his "supposed" father, perhaps one word couldn't describe the feelings he had, or maybe by not finishing his sentence, Eddie shows his indifference to this man that he now has no connection to. By doing this he quickly dismisses him and moves his focus onto his real father.
Next his mother says, "sorry you didn't see him," I agree with many that although Eddie had seen his real father, unbeknownst to him at the time, he never knew this man as HIS FATHER. Also, his mother goes on to say, "but I'm glad we talked.." I always think of this as the biggest blow, he has just found out that his real father is dead and all she can say is "I'm glad we talked". I think this shows how little the characters mother cared about her child and the whole situation (more on this later).
Elegant-Waste talked about the next verse, "Oh she walks slowly..." about abuse. I had never seen it before but it does make very good sense. The way Eddie describes the seen is that the character is so paralyzed that he can't do anything, he can only stare, that is so sad, it brings a new elemant to the song that makes it so much more poignant.
Anyway, next his mother asks, "Is something wrong, she said...You're still alive she said" Again, the mother doesn't even care!!! After all of the lieing, cheating, and even abusing, things that have happened, she doesn't even care. Also, to bring a more reality based aspect to the song, the only reason Eddie's mother ever told him about his dead father and his fake step-father was to get Eddie on her side in a nasty divorce case, she purposely dropped this huge bomb on him so that Eddie would testify against his step-father. Anyway, back to the lyrics, when the song states, "Oh, and do I deserve to be, Is that the question" I think that the character is totally feeling guilty, as a little boy with such traumatic events happening to him, he would definitly feel guilt and bewilderment. Eddie goes on to say, "And if so...if so...who answers...who answers..." This is really sad, but this boy is ultimately left with himself. He is completely confused about everything he once thought was true, and there is no one to answer any of his questions. Obviously his mother doesn't give a shit, his real father is dead, and he will never turn to his step-father, he is left with himself, he is the one that has to answer the questions.
I know this sounds very sad, but I think that the song really ends on a truimphant note. Up to this point Eddie had been telling us a story, one with a boy that is left alone with nothing. But I believe that the forceful, even screaming at times, lyrics, "I'm still alive" totally brings the song from the past tense to the present tense. This boy has at least somewhat come to terms with everything that has happened, and he is declaring his survival. He has survived this by himself (note, the emphasis on the word "I" am still alive).
Lastly, someone had mentioned Eddie screaming the words to the very last line of the song with, "YOU'RE still Alive" even pointing to the audience. I think by doing this Eddie is telling everyone that all of us have survived whatever troubles we have gone through, and now we are with him, singing along, celebrating,even rejoicing the fact that we are ALIVE.
I know it's long, but I had to say it, this song (like to many other people) was my first Pearl Jam song, and I have been a loyal fan ever since. Thanks Eddie for sharing your life and your thoughts with us. It has meant a lot.
-redmosquito
redmosquito
8/6/99 01:00 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
You know, this song means a lot to many people, I am really glad that it also means so much to you, and it has helped change your life. I'm also a senior in highschool, and it is totally cool to find another devoted Pearl Jam fan (that is around the same age as me). I loved your message, you rock!
Tremor Child
8/6/99 01:00 AM
My favourite song.... ever.... nothing more to say
evenkat
8/6/99 04:37 AM
Re: Spanking the monkey.
Did anyone see this independent film, I think it came out in 94. It's about a boy who has sex with has mother and it really fucks him up. I have seen it on Bravo, and it always reminds me of this song. I wonder if that's where they got the idea from. I'll have to pay attention next time it's on about who wrote it and shit like that.
"You know what it's like" EV
jcborges
8/6/99 06:12 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I just *had* to add this after I read some of the more personal posts, talking about personal experiences... I felt I had to share this too... As I said before, I had never understood the part about the abuse from the mother until this week, but there was a time this song took a very personal meaning to me...
Date: December 19th 1998. I am driving. My best friend died the day before, run over by a car. I am going to pick up some of our friends, go fetch the flowers we ordered for him and drive to his funeral wake. I am going to see him dead for the first time. I had been calm most of the time since I got the news, numb really, refusing to deal with it, except when other people held me and cried. This song comes up on the radio... it gets to the part "Do I deserve to be", and THAT was the question I had in my mind, that I was eluding all the time, the "why him instead of me" question. I start to sob and moan and cry, and I have to stop the car. At the end of the song I am joining in the chorus hysterically. I calm myself somewhat and I start the car again, but I keep singing 'I'm still alive" in a choked tone until I joined my friends, his friends, our friends.
I was basically the pillar of strength for everybody else throughout the funeral proceedings. I made an oath to myself and to my dead friend that moment in the car, that I would never allow it to waste my life or to end it prematurely, because I didn't have that right. Because he was the person most filled with life that I ever knew, and it was taken from him. Because I now have the obligation to make it worth two lives, his and mine. And all that I ever achieve in my life I will achieve thinking of him, so that in a way he will be there to share it with me, as he should.
This is dedicated to Arnaldo Francisco Joao, 11/04/1977 - 18/12/1998. I am still alive... so you will never be truly dead.
<b>João da Câmara Borges</b>
"Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel"
evenkat
8/6/99 06:25 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!! Jcborges
That was both sad and beautiful. Someone just posted about Pearl Jam songs making them cry, I have never experienced that but your post has made tears well-up in my eyes. You are a true friend and very special. Your friend live on in your heart.
"You know what it's like" EV
dan_alive
8/6/99 08:11 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
after reading your post i feel so much more alive... we are lucky to be alive... we should all make the most of it while it lasts.
take care of yourself,
dan.
"Escape is never the safest path"
El Conquistador
8/6/99 10:23 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
awesome...
Elegant-Waste
8/6/99 10:53 AM
Re: ALIVE!!!!!!!
I have a similar story about having someone close to me losing their life, it was my cousin about 2 years ago. Whenever "immortality" comes on, it reminds me of him, maybe it's cuz of the name of the song, but that's how I remember him everytime I hear that song. It's a like a tribute song for him...and it's a way I can think he's immortal, he still lives inside me, LONG LIVE CHRIS!
-My My Hey Hey Pearl Jam Is Here To Stay-
Jason