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Show me something funny! Post em here. Make me laugh!!!

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Comments

  • tempo_n_groovetempo_n_groove Posts: 26,611
    I was very upset that Costco didn't actually write the responses but it still made me crack up.
    https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/laurenstrapagiel/viral-costco-customer-service-fake
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PAPosts: 34,867


    bf959b1f-9b77-457c-baf8-038776f33339_zps8a6a389d.jpg?t=1365722973
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly
  • kce8kce8 Posts: 1,636
    ^ That's hilarious! LOL
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 20,921

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 23,882
    :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,GreecePosts: 15,399
    mickeyrat said:

    hahahahahaha
    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018.
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 20,921
     A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me:

    6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans

    6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop.

    7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds.

    8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better.

    9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases.

    10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again.

    11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors.

    12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year.

    1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch.

    2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster.

    2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

    4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure

    6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth”

    6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk.

    7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths.

    9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today.

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PAPosts: 34,867


    bf959b1f-9b77-457c-baf8-038776f33339_zps8a6a389d.jpg?t=1365722973
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly
  • tempo_n_groovetempo_n_groove Posts: 26,611
    edited May 2020
    mickeyrat said:
     A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me:

    6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans

    6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop.

    7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds.

    8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better.

    9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases.

    10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again.

    11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors.

    12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year.

    1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch.

    2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster.

    2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

    4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure

    6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth”

    6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk.

    7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths.

    9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today.

    Fucking brilliant!

    EDIT: I want to make this a meme!
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,GreecePosts: 15,399

    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018.
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
  • tempo_n_groovetempo_n_groove Posts: 26,611
    23scidoo said:

    This was cute.
  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 17,634


    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • markymark550markymark550 Columbia, SCPosts: 4,703


    (Don't google that if you don't know the meme, especially if you're on a work computer)
  • I don't know if you'll laugh, but it certainly made this laugh hard.

    Cuteness alert.


  • elvistheking44elvistheking44 Posts: 3,612
    cutz said:
    This thread used to be so good.....
  • cutzcutz Posts: 10,080
    edited May 2020
    cutz said:
    This thread used to be so good.....
    Sorry
    Post edited by cutz on
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 23,882
    cutz said:
    This thread used to be so good.....
    What is the crime, exactly, that you're accusing him of?

    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,GreecePosts: 15,399


    (Don't google that if you don't know the meme, especially if you're on a work computer)
    Hahahaha..''2girls1cup'' is still on???..don't do it people..
    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018.
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
  • cutzcutz Posts: 10,080
    23scidoo said:


    (Don't google that if you don't know the meme, especially if you're on a work computer)
    Hahahaha..''2girls1cup'' is still on???..don't do it people..
    Of course I Googled it>HAHAHA
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 20,921

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 20,921

    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • edited May 2020
    Post edited by West Coast Dreamgirl on
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,GreecePosts: 15,399
    cutz said:
    23scidoo said:


    (Don't google that if you don't know the meme, especially if you're on a work computer)
    Hahahaha..''2girls1cup'' is still on???..don't do it people..
    Of course I Googled it>HAHAHA
    Hahahahahaha...
    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018.
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
  • markymark550markymark550 Columbia, SCPosts: 4,703

  • tempo_n_groovetempo_n_groove Posts: 26,611

    Will that be the rallying cry?

    "All my home schooled brethren!"
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,GreecePosts: 15,399

    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018.
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
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