Memoir related question re. a piece I'm working on. NEED ADVICE!

brianlux

NEED ADVICE!  Problem solved!

Sorry for the self-indulgence of posting this in two places (here and the Poetry, Prose, Art & Music section).  I just need to hear from any of you with good advice.  I'm very stressed over this issue:

This is a difficult question for me to even think about because just this morning I finished a music related memoir that I began two years ago and has gone through seven revisions.  I've gone to great pains to make it the absolute best work I can.  But then this morning I sent a piece from it, a review of a show a friend of mine and his band did that I saw, for his consideration.  He was unhappy because I placed too much emphasis on is role in the band.  I rewrote the piece and sent it back to him and he like it a lot.  OK, fine, but wait!  Do I now do that with every section of an 88,000 word manuscript to make sure every single person in my life over the last 64 years is Ok with what I've written?  Or do I just throw the last two year of my life in the waste basket?  Right now I don't know what I need more- a drink, a shrink, or the ledge of a tall building.  Sorry, gallows humor.  I'm not going to jump off a roof.  Not literally!

Annafalk

I have a feeling you've done a great work.
Be happy with what you've accomplished

dudeman

I would try not to over think this, Brian. You are writing about your experiences, right? What others think about that is irrelevant. 

I would push on through, get an objective person to proofread your work then focus on the next step. 

If you have everyone you wrote about adding their opinions, you'll end up with a work of disjointed perspectives and, IMO, that would detract from your intentions. 

Good luck with whatever you decide. 

tempo_n_groove

Just change the names if you are really worried about it.

brianlux

Anna- thank you.  I'm not so sure it's great, but it's as good as could make it!

dudeman, great idea- I know someone who would be willing to read it first.  Thanks man!

Tempo- changing names is a good option.  I'll consider that too, thanks!

oftenreading

Brian, you've already gotten some great suggestions here. I'll just add that no memoir, no book, no work of art of any type, will please everybody. Your memoir is your point of view, your remembrances, what is important to you. Someone else who was with you for every one of those experiences would still write a very different book. Be honest, be fair, give credit where it's due, and then accept that you will still piss some people off.

brianlux

oftenreading said:

Brian, you've already gotten some great suggestions here. I'll just add that no memoir, no book, no work of art of any type, will please everybody. Your memoir is your point of view, your remembrances, what is important to you. Someone else who was with you for every one of those experiences would still write a very different book. Be honest, be fair, give credit where it's due, and then accept that you will still piss some people off.

I guess that's the part I have a hard time with.  I guess,as they say, "get over it!"

Thanks for good ideas!

hedonist

often is a wise woman.  Pissing some people off is part of life, part of living life, and part of telling it.  That's more on them, than you.

Your words, your perspective, your life.  So tell it!

No reason to hold back on that front if not done on others.

"If you want to sing out, sing out" - and if you're gonna do it (to plagiarize Ed at VA Beach, 2000) sing loud, 'cause you're still alive

rgambs

hedonist said:

often is a wise woman.  Pissing some people off is part of life, part of living life, and part of telling it.  That's more on them, than you.

Your words, your perspective, your life.  So tell it!

No reason to hold back on that front if not done on others.

"If you want to sing out, sing out" - and if you're gonna do it (to plagiarize Ed at VA Beach, 2000) sing loud, 'cause you're still alive

Yep

brianlux

hedonist said:

often is a wise woman.  Pissing some people off is part of life, part of living life, and part of telling it.  That's more on them, than you.

Your words, your perspective, your life.  So tell it!

No reason to hold back on that front if not done on others.

"If you want to sing out, sing out" - and if you're gonna do it (to plagiarize Ed at VA Beach, 2000) sing loud, 'cause you're still alive

Well said, Thank you!

Wobbie

all the popular music memoirs have lots of sex and drugs.

there you go.

deadendp

Someone cannot make you change your memories, or at least they shouldn't.  People always want to spin things to make themselves sound good.  Well, maybe they didn't sound good or perhaps their recollection was not as accurate.  They will have to get over it.  

Often, She's all that and a bag of chips.  Perhaps a loaf of sliced bread, too.  I completely agree with what she has to say.  

I agree with T&G, change names if you see trouble coming.  

And hey!  Congratulations on a fantastic achievement!  That is awesome and I am thrilled for you!  

Wobbie

deadendp said:

Often, She's all that and a bag of chips.  Perhaps a loaf of sliced bread, too.  I completely agree with what she has to say.  

I agree with T&G, change names if you see trouble coming.  

pretty sure my advice was better....

oftenreading

Wobbie said:

deadendp said:

Often, She's all that and a bag of chips.  Perhaps a loaf of sliced bread, too.  I completely agree with what she has to say.  

I agree with T&G, change names if you see trouble coming.  

pretty sure my advice was better....

Brian's memoir already has lots of sex and drugs. He didn't need that advice. 

Fifthelement

I've nothing to add, there have been some excellent suggestions and observations.  I just wanted to congratulate you.

brianlux

oftenreading said:

Wobbie said:

deadendp said:

Often, She's all that and a bag of chips.  Perhaps a loaf of sliced bread, too.  I completely agree with what she has to say.  

I agree with T&G, change names if you see trouble coming.  

pretty sure my advice was better....

Brian's memoir already has lots of sex and drugs. He didn't need that advice. 

Actually... 

brianlux

Fifthelement said:

I've nothing to add, there have been some excellent suggestions and observations.  I just wanted to congratulate you.

Thanks, Fifth!

And thanks everyone for good advices!  I decided to leave names of people that go way back that were just common first names in the first place like, "Mark" and "Mike" and "Jim", etc., was generic in some cases like, "cousin" or "uncle", and changed the names of people that I am out of touch with so as to respect their confidentiality.  Now it's just one more read through, off to a major publisher and then wait for that six figure check to roll on in. 

Oh, wait, I don't have a publisher, lol!  I'll submit it to a few (I know, sort of like throwing a dart 100 yards and hoping for a bull's eye) and if no luck there will pay to print.

Thanks again, good people. 

oftenreading

Can't wait to read it, Brian.  Please keep us posted. 

Don't want to miss all that sex and drugs.

brianlux

oftenreading said:

Can't wait to read it, Brian.  Please keep us posted. 

Don't want to miss all that sex and drugs.

  And, of course, the rock and roll! 

Will do, my friend!