I am a Dad once more!!

2-feign-reluctance

Talk to me. What's it like? Chances of us having a second aren't looking good & its been tough on me.

EDIT: Last night Isabelle Jane Lee arrived healthy & beautiful making me a Dad for the second time. Today I am a blessed man. 

whispering hands

2-feign-reluctance said:

Talk to me. What's it like? Chances of us having a second aren't looking good & its been tough on me.

Why not adopt?

Fifthelement

I'm sorry to hear that. It must be hard to take right now. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, just (((hugs))).

2-feign-reluctance

whispering hands said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Talk to me. What's it like? Chances of us having a second aren't looking good & its been tough on me.

Why not adopt?

Not something I want to do for too many reasons.

hauntingfamiliar

I've one. A nine-year-old girl and she is the reason for my existence.

hedonist

Is it tough on your child as well? If not...maybe that question is something you can resolve in time, separately.

I do respect whatever your (and your wife's) reasons for not adopting may be.

hauntingfamiliar

I won't say it's easy...it's not. It does get easier though, the older they get...and if there are fun neighborhood kids. And also....it's the only thing they know. Sure, I went through the whole, "so and so has brothers and sisters, why don't I" guilt trip phase with my daughter. And I am from from a big family....it can be hard sometimes. But, hey, sometimes life just happens the way it happens. It did for me and now I have a beautiful, extraordinary daughter.

Annafalk

2-feign-reluctance said:

Talk to me. What's it like? Chances of us having a second aren't looking good & its been tough on me.

Sometimes cousins can be like siblings.

deadendp

My kiddo is an only but not. She is adopted with siblings in other homes.

Is she well adjusted and great? Absolutely!

Does she live a life a bit different than children who have other kiddos in the house? Yes. There are pluses and minuses.

She has gone to museum lectures and concerts, appointments, funerals, programs and all sorts of things with us. She is capable of having appropriate conversations with adults. She is an only raised by two blunt adults who has allowed her to ask any question she has ever had. She has and does talk with us about everything.

Does she get lonely and pester me about where we can go, what we can do and all that? Sweet love, yes. Does she have two neighbor girls who are also both only children? Yup. Do we study together with her as opposed to sibling help? Yes.

Having one child isn't something we planned, but it was how life worked out for us. We wouldn't trade K for anything and wouldn't trade the experiences that we have had with her for anything. I will also admit that my daughter's ADD and OCD has led us to say many times, "God knew what he was doing when he gave us only one."

We love her dearly and you know what? We are good with one.

2-feign-reluctance

Thanks for the words guys!

whispering hands

Best of luck to you guys!

Wma31394

Keep slippin em past the keeper..we were told the same and kept trying and had #2. I know situations are difcerent..best of luck.

EB218946

2-feign I hope everything works out for you. Sorry you are struggling. Just want to send some good vibes your way. I always appreciate reading your posts on these forums. Ed

hedonist

deadendp said:

My kiddo is an only but not. She is adopted with siblings in other homes.

Is she well adjusted and great? Absolutely!

Does she live a life a bit different than children who have other kiddos in the house? Yes. There are pluses and minuses.

She has gone to museum lectures and concerts, appointments, funerals, programs and all sorts of things with us. She is capable of having appropriate conversations with adults. She is an only raised by two blunt adults who has allowed her to ask any question she has ever had. She has and does talk with us about everything.

Does she get lonely and pester me about where we can go, what we can do and all that? Sweet love, yes. Does she have two neighbor girls who are also both only children? Yup. Do we study together with her as opposed to sibling help? Yes.

Having one child isn't something we planned, but it was how life worked out for us. We wouldn't trade K for anything and wouldn't trade the experiences that we have had with her for anything. I will also admit that my daughter's ADD and OCD has led us to say many times, "God knew what he was doing when he gave us only one."

We love her dearly and you know what? We are good with one.

I meant to say earlier how much I love this post, and your perspective(s). K is a lucky and lovely young lady.

dankind

All I can say is those were the days.

hedonist

dankind said:

All I can say is those were the days.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.

Poncier

hedonist said:

dankind said:

All I can say is those were the days.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.

Songs that made the hit parade.

tweedyfanjen

My niece is an only child and I think she likes it that way. But seriously, I know it was hard on my brother not to have any more children but they had such a tough time conceiving my niece (two fertility specialists) that I think he realized how lucky they were to have one.

hauntingfamiliar

Annafalk said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

Talk to me. What's it like? Chances of us having a second aren't looking good & its been tough on me.

Sometimes cousins can be like siblings.

True. My daughter is very close to her cousins. It is a sibling-like bond. Just wish they lived a little closer.

dudeman

Hang in there, man. We only have one. She gets a lot of attention, we take her places all the time, read a lot of books, teach her about everything we know and make sure she stays engaged and interested in learning.

She spends a lot of time with our friends kids who are all around the same age.

Sincerely, I hope that things work out for you the way you want. Best wishes.

hedonist

Poncier said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

All I can say is those were the days.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.

Songs that made the hit parade.

And...Archie & Edith had only one child.

2-feign-reluctance

For the record we got pregnant with our first after one night unprotected. So, nearly 4 years later and what? Nothing works anymore? She's seeing a doc in a few days so I guess we'll find out something. I'll be 39 and she 36 on the same day this March. At our age I've read if after 6 months of active (more like crazy amount of sex for us) you're not pregnant, then go see someone. 6 months of trying ends next week.

2-feign-reluctance

Also, no family history of difficulties. Maybe the microcell booster I set up 2 yrs ago fried my sperm.

FoxyRedLa

2FR. I read your post. Chose not to post because I'm not the right person to. I'm reading responses and it didn't occur to me that your adorable daughter might have been asking for a sibling. Not sure that's the case.

I had one daughter for almost 11 years. And I agree haunting. My whole entire world.

And just naturally between you and your wife I agree with WMA - keep slippin em! Men ha!

mcgruff10

2-feign-reluctance said:

For the record we got pregnant with our first after one night unprotected. So, nearly 4 years later and what? Nothing works anymore? She's seeing a doc in a few days so I guess we'll find out something. I'll be 39 and she 36 on the same day this March. At our age I've read if after 6 months of active (more like crazy amount of sex for us) you're not pregnant, then go see someone. 6 months of trying ends next week.

hey bud. many of my friends tried tried and tried then lost hope. it seems after they stopped trying most were usually pregnant pretty quick. maybe no more stress....who knows. good luck my friend.

Poncier

2-feign-reluctance said:

For the record we got pregnant with our first after one night unprotected. So, nearly 4 years later and what? Nothing works anymore? She's seeing a doc in a few days so I guess we'll find out something. I'll be 39 and she 36 on the same day this March. At our age I've read if after 6 months of active (more like crazy amount of sex for us) you're not pregnant, then go see someone. 6 months of trying ends next week.

You should tell her you read that you need to try for a year straight instead of 6 months.

2-feign-reluctance

8 weeks pregnant good people....got to see baby #2 Wednesday. Everything looking excellent - seeing that beating heart, the start of little hands and feet....oh so overwhelming and good....thanks for all the thoughts.

dankind

2-feign-reluctance said:

8 weeks pregnant good people....got to see baby #2 Wednesday. Everything looking excellent - seeing that beating heart, the start of little hands and feet....oh so overwhelming and good....thanks for all the thoughts.

You fucker!

mcgruff10

2-feign-reluctance said:

8 weeks pregnant good people....got to see baby #2 Wednesday. Everything looking excellent - seeing that beating heart, the start of little hands and feet....oh so overwhelming and good....thanks for all the thoughts.

Nice work!!

FoxyRedLa

Wahooooooo! So there's only one? bummer haha

hauntingfamiliar

2-feign-reluctance said:

8 weeks pregnant good people....got to see baby #2 Wednesday. Everything looking excellent - seeing that beating heart, the start of little hands and feet....oh so overwhelming and good....thanks for all the thoughts.

Congratulations!!!!!