SterylSteryl Posts: 2
My life as a child into adulthood Is RVM to me.I guess it was the beatings made me wise
But I'm not about to give thanks, or apologize I couldn't breathe, holdin' me down
Hand on my face, pushed to the ground Enmity gaged, united by fear
Forced to endure what I could not forgive ................ (cannot forgive some in my life for not teaching me reality.
Kept in a 'church life' , Taught :: What not to do & what NOT TO DO! (allowed only church friends,only Church private school, never Public school here ) I grew up... made my Getaway,still scarred for life , But realize It all makes sense,in this Present Tense of my life.,Raised in a Baptist Church, I was brought up with lessons of What Not to think,question, what to wear, what music Not to or to Listen to (so I ended up listening to Stryper . :P LMAO!!) and I got caught listening to PearlJam , Metallica, MANY MORE. But I GOT IN TROUBLE , It is scarful today, I made My GETAWAY... They judge and push so much ,if i go back and visit, The pastor wife talks about my testimony to others and how i should present myself, but I AM MINE ... " . ***I got in trouble for that & everything else my *Strangest TriBED* mind thought of.With MY voice..
but...I always had an open mind, wanted to see things differently than my 3 sisters did. Being ME ---got me in trouble . :( . Pearl Jam lyrics ....WOW!!! Reads me . Actually, I now can read me. I know what is mind surrounding,I aware that There is always a solution to this 'scarred problem'. --- PearlJam ...the music,My mind starts to get in touch with my spirit & connects with thought of figure.***Religion is man made bullshit. Just as songs ,we interpret things for ourselves, Let me interrpt IPeter 5:7 myself , Dont kneel in front and pray for MY soul !!!!! . If I had known then ,,,what I know now.
As years past My eyes have been opened to many things, I met people Out of the church/school that taught me so much(even with them not knowing they taught me.)and I seen a whole new world. Being confided in a home where just religion and beliefs are told.GETAWAY!!!! I feel as if the first 20 years of life ive been lied to. I keep the taught morals, values to my life.Living in fear about going to hell if i do bad,. if i do something wrong, ill go The church pushes you , pushed me right out the door, I was the schools Preschool director, four years later They fired me , because they did not suport me marrying a man, not involved in the church. ????!!! (SEE HOW ANAL THIS WAS FOR ME) A P.J. Fan ... My mind ,,, I am find/still finding out things 20 years later /.Back to my innocence ,STILL GOT IT!!
Inspiring , Soul lifting, spirit healing, Talented Sound, Great Play. Nice, REAL Set of members in PearlJam .

I seem to look away
It wasn't my surface most defiled
Head at your feet, fool to your crown * cant say it better than that!
Fist on my plate, swallowed it down *the fukin lies down
Enmity gaged, united by fear *Daily FEAR & Guilt, still today
Tried to endure what I could not forgive
Saw things
Once you, were in my rearviewmirror
******************I gather speed from you fucking with me******************
Once and for all I'm far away **NOW... I can think,research,question, speak up on/ for my own.
I hardly believe, finally the shades, are raised, hey
Saw things so much clearer
Once you, once you

i love the talk i have with people today.. Knowing what they are "preaching about" But I also see My Goodness & not guilt. and I gather up so much mindthought
adrenaline ,and the VOICE OF THOUGHTS , I SPEAK !

Post edited by Steryl on


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  • thank you for sharing...I believe many have walked similar roads and when we begin to really listen and question our education along the way we learn and reach understanding from a compassionate place (mostly:).. Pearl Jams music and lyrics have definetly awakened my curiosity and self discovery too. thanks again
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