Asking for prayers/good wishes/positive vibes etc. UPDATE: Father passed away Saturday

PJ1973

Back in October, I has posted this originally asking for prayers for my dad who had entered the hospital. He was released, and after some stints at a rehab facility came back home. We were able to spend the holidays together but sadly, he passed away this past Saturday. He was 78. He died peacefully while sleeping. So many people from this board reached out when I first posted this both publicly and via PMs and I appreciate that dearly, and is also why I wanted to post this update. We'll be having our cremation service this Friday. Thank you all for your support.

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Hi everyone, hate to burden people with personal issues but my 78 year old dad is in the hospital following an infection that caused his blood pressure to drop precipitously. Fortunately, that has been stabilized and his BP is back to normal. The problem is he also suffers from dementia and after losing a lot of strength these past few days, it's become very difficult to get him back to normal. He's not wanting to eat or move around and without doing that, I don't see a way for him to come home any time soon His vitals are now fine, but he still seems days away from leaving, and the longer he's in the hospital, the more frightening the whole situation becomes.

Anyone else dealing with parents or other close relations with dementia? It's a depressing situation.

Thanks,

Rami

whispering hands

Prayers going up fir you Rami.

SD48277

Positive thoughts for you, your dad, and your family.

hauntingfamiliar

Oh no... so sorry Rami. Prayers, good vibes and tons of good energy heading your way.

Fifthelement

Healing vibes being sent to your and your dad and your family Rami.

I've experienced something similar this past summer with my dad. He's been in and out of emerg, acute care, home, emerg, acute care, physical rehab hospital, back to emerg, and then to acute care all summer. He was overdosed, fell out of bed a few times, once at home, others on different wards. He's gone into diabetic lows on a few occasions and has also had oxygen levels drop to 12%. We've dealt with confusion, anger, apathy and exhaustion. It's been emotionally and physically exhausting and downright terrifying at times thinking I'm going to lose my dad.

I tell you all this just to let you know that he is finally well enough and mobile enough to come home next week. There is always hope.

Whatever happens and whenever it happens always remember to breathe. Tell your loved ones that they are loved and take the time for yourself to laugh and cry....and get a massage!
It is utterly astonishing how much stress lies in your muscles and tendons. My neck and shoulders are still carrying it.

S xx

2-feign-reluctance

My 88 yr old Grandmother. She has completely forgotten who I am. Rips my heart out every time. I recently stopped seeing her. Just couldn't stand it any longer, yet she lives on. Take good care OP.

PJ1973

Thanks. It's so hard to not get frustrated with him but to realize it's the situation and he's not trying to be difficult. So then you get frustrated with the situation, but that does no good...

I'll have a better idea of what we're dealing with when he sees a physical therapist tomorrow. In the meantime, we'll just keep doing the best we can.

Thanks for your words and wishes.

Rami

JWPearl

Two hands together
And on my knees
To pray for your dad
Can you pray too..
Would be good faith...

Annafalk

It's so sad and frustrating when a loved one suffer from such a thing as dementia.
The early memories in life seems to be the ones that is remembered best. It is easier to talk about things in his past life.
Good thoughts to you and your dad Rami.

SmallestOceans

Vibes to you OP

PJ1973

Thank you everyone. Some things are better, some worse. The infection is gone, but now there is an abscess in the liver, which will be drained on Friday. So the hospital stay is going to continue for some time, still. However, we went from worrying about general anesthesia to only needing local which makes me feel better. Also, he's been a little more alert and responsive. We've also started work with a physical therapist so hopefully he makes progress there.

Regarding the dementia, it's weird what he remembers and what he doesn't. He remembers people and faces, but not events in his life. A few months ago, he was telling one of his friends that he hadn't been back to his home country, India, since he moved here, in 1968. He's been back over a dozen times, as recently as four years ago, but he was just adamant that he hadn't returned. It's such a strange disease - I feel like I'm with my kids, but instead of progress, we're just hoping for no regression.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, and for letting me type on and on. Does make me feel a little less wound up

Rami

Fifthelement

That's encouraging news Rami. Thinking of you and your family.

hedonist

Good energy sent, Rami.

Not like it ever needs to be said, but I guess it does - DO type on and on if it helps. Many shoulders and ears here.

JWPearl

Just keep praying..hope is a good thing

brianlux

PJ1973 said:

Hi everyone, hate to burden people with personal issues but my 78 year old dad is in the hospital following an infection that caused his blood pressure to drop precipitously. Fortunately, that has been stabilized and his BP is back to normal. The problem is he also suffers from dementia and after losing a lot of strength these past few days, it's become very difficult to get him back to normal. He's not wanting to eat or move around and without doing that, I don't see a way for him to come home any time soon His vitals are now fine, but he still seems days away from leaving, and the longer he's in the hospital, the more frightening the whole situation becomes.

Anyone else dealing with parents or other close relations with dementia? It's a depressing situation.

Thanks,

Rami

Yes, I have PJ 1973. For us too it was really is a tough situation. My mom passed away from Alzheimer's going on 8 years ago. She lived 7 hours drive away so every visit was a memory to hang on to. I miss her but also sense her in my life and time has helped ease into good and fond memories. And my father is 95 so we think about these things again.

I wish you the best and hope you find comfort in the time you have with your dad and from those around you.

PJ1973

Hi folks, just an update - prognosis is not very good right now. My dad has been in the hospital since my first post. After the first infection was addressed, his white blood count didn't decrease so they looked further and found an abscess on his liver. That was drained and didn't show anything troubling. He was improving and was sitting up and moving a little with assistance and we thought we'd be on to rehab this weekend or the beginning of next week.

Then yesterday his white cells shot back up. They've come down again today, but the doctors see something in the colon which could be just a sealed infection (good), or something else (bad). They can't do a colonoscopy so all they can do is to give the antibiotic. They'll know in around 48-72 hours whether that's going to work and if he is going to improve. It's going to be a long weekend.

Thanks again for your kind words and positive energy. I'm hoping for the best.

Rami

Fifthelement

((((((Healing thoughts))))))

hedonist

I'm hoping too, Rami. From your posts, seems your father has been, well...IS a good father. What a gift.

That effort of our parent(s) seems to shine on in their children, in us. Shines through in you.

Hang in there best you can. Over the long coming days? Check in, let it out, whatever you need.

PJ1973

Have a positive update here - my dad's been improving over the past week and the doctors are back to planning his discharge, hopefully by the end of the week. It will be to a rehab facility and my mom and I have been checking those out this weekend. But hopefully if things keep proceeding, he'll be in one soon. Of course, there will be a long journey from there, but it's progress and we're very grateful for that. Thanks again for all your positive thoughts!

Rami

SmallestOceans

^^ Happy to hear it.

deadendp

Progress is a great thing! Continued prayers for you and your family.