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My Last Pearl Jam Show 8-22-16, and a wish along with it (not a song)
My Facebook friends know this already. I haven't posted on the forum in so long. Got burnt out, had some life changes, as we all do, and some health issues as we all do. But the zig zag paths have put me in a new world. Freedom, at a price.
I no longer have a husband, no longer living in Las Vegas, no longer... well.... the losses over the last two year included being homeless for five months, having every dime disappear, watching my ex take even more than I knew I had, and at the same time finding new love when there wasn't a place in my heart for it. I found that although my car is from this decade, a fiat is a bit small for a mobile home, even in tinyhome terms. I found asking for help can lead to getting it. I found that a dog can be better than Prozac, albeit, we all know that. I found being on stage with Grrl Jam, or my comedysportz team, or being in a play is far more healing than buying into the "ain't you too old for that" bullshit comments. Music and the Arts are me.
The desert is not my home, never really was. The ocean is. But, I couldn't afford staying with friends in Moss Beach, so goodbye Mavericks. I drove around the country and settled in a broken town, near Detroit. It was going through hell, as I was...we fit each other. The tour came on when my every penny was set aside for rent, car, insurance and phone. I go to food banks, clothes banks, and thanks to a grant was put into an apartment. I do not ask anyone for help, and when I do, I find it..this isn't the point if you made it this far. Somehow, I found a way to get tickets, and then had medical issues, family issues, and had to pass them so another could enjoy our boys, and I could say goodbyes to more people back where I was raised in Boston. (Raised there, but didn't grow up until California years later.) I took my new found love and my Prozac dog to Boston, met friends, visited family, and said goodbye to them. Most won't be around this time next year, and if the health issues don't turn around...just glad I had goodbye time.
I combined the last bit of credit card and savings to pay for my win of a Wrigley pair. Wrigley is where my Great-uncle, Lou Boudreau, announced games. Wrigley is the home of the one team I went to see every time I had a day off at the Naval base. When Lou died, I was given some trinkets, including one of his hats reserved for Ed. I got to hand it to the road manager in Los Angeles in 2013, hoping it made it to Eddie. (You could still see sweat stains and smell Lou's hair. )(as little as there was).
My wish.... not a song. Not a gift. Not anything huge. I did hope that my love and I could be married at the show, but not holding my breath. The wish? I just want to see Ed in my uncle's hat, in the field where both loved their team. Or, at the minimum, just know somehow that the cap managed to get to him.
This is the last time I can even try to spend money on tickets, never mind hotels, gas, parking, etc. Not buying shirts, swag, or any of that. We were going to stay in a campground in Zion, where I used to live, but found a deal on a hotel that was cheaper. I am from the class of '64, as Eddie is, and at 52, my coin flip of groceries v electricity happens too often now on disability.
My heart and thyroid are being beaten up by autoimmune issues. I am not famous, so chances of meeting the boys doesn't happen. ADA at Fenway finally got TLC for picks and tambourine time...hoping it is the same at Wrigley. I have written 10club a few times to see if the baseball cap made it to the intended. It would be amazing ...just.....Amazing... if my wish came true -- Cathe Boudreau....aka Edie Vetter of Grrl Jam.
I no longer have a husband, no longer living in Las Vegas, no longer... well.... the losses over the last two year included being homeless for five months, having every dime disappear, watching my ex take even more than I knew I had, and at the same time finding new love when there wasn't a place in my heart for it. I found that although my car is from this decade, a fiat is a bit small for a mobile home, even in tinyhome terms. I found asking for help can lead to getting it. I found that a dog can be better than Prozac, albeit, we all know that. I found being on stage with Grrl Jam, or my comedysportz team, or being in a play is far more healing than buying into the "ain't you too old for that" bullshit comments. Music and the Arts are me.
The desert is not my home, never really was. The ocean is. But, I couldn't afford staying with friends in Moss Beach, so goodbye Mavericks. I drove around the country and settled in a broken town, near Detroit. It was going through hell, as I was...we fit each other. The tour came on when my every penny was set aside for rent, car, insurance and phone. I go to food banks, clothes banks, and thanks to a grant was put into an apartment. I do not ask anyone for help, and when I do, I find it..this isn't the point if you made it this far. Somehow, I found a way to get tickets, and then had medical issues, family issues, and had to pass them so another could enjoy our boys, and I could say goodbyes to more people back where I was raised in Boston. (Raised there, but didn't grow up until California years later.) I took my new found love and my Prozac dog to Boston, met friends, visited family, and said goodbye to them. Most won't be around this time next year, and if the health issues don't turn around...just glad I had goodbye time.
I combined the last bit of credit card and savings to pay for my win of a Wrigley pair. Wrigley is where my Great-uncle, Lou Boudreau, announced games. Wrigley is the home of the one team I went to see every time I had a day off at the Naval base. When Lou died, I was given some trinkets, including one of his hats reserved for Ed. I got to hand it to the road manager in Los Angeles in 2013, hoping it made it to Eddie. (You could still see sweat stains and smell Lou's hair. )(as little as there was).
My wish.... not a song. Not a gift. Not anything huge. I did hope that my love and I could be married at the show, but not holding my breath. The wish? I just want to see Ed in my uncle's hat, in the field where both loved their team. Or, at the minimum, just know somehow that the cap managed to get to him.
This is the last time I can even try to spend money on tickets, never mind hotels, gas, parking, etc. Not buying shirts, swag, or any of that. We were going to stay in a campground in Zion, where I used to live, but found a deal on a hotel that was cheaper. I am from the class of '64, as Eddie is, and at 52, my coin flip of groceries v electricity happens too often now on disability.
My heart and thyroid are being beaten up by autoimmune issues. I am not famous, so chances of meeting the boys doesn't happen. ADA at Fenway finally got TLC for picks and tambourine time...hoping it is the same at Wrigley. I have written 10club a few times to see if the baseball cap made it to the intended. It would be amazing ...just.....Amazing... if my wish came true -- Cathe Boudreau....aka Edie Vetter of Grrl Jam.
When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
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Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
Henry David Thoreau
See you next round
You guys being there.. and then so many others from the shows I've been to over the last 25 years ,(and MLB shows, before.) For a very last pearl jam show-- I could have done a hell of a lot worse.. thank YOU for being there. Made me so happy to see you guys. Every show I've always gone stag, always made friends with ADA or nosebleed seat folks... and hoped to see some over and over. Some have gone now. Some are just healthier and able to do more so they moved on to mosh in GA. Some moved on to things like.. sigh.. barry manilow. (WTF??) . Still... this was the VERY first time I had someone with me who knew me so well, and helped me get through the homeless stuff this last year, the health stuff, the divorce hell, the entire life changing, near death stuff this year... and he was there to come to the Pearl Jam show because he was supporting me in my insanity - (PearlJamity?) Can you believe- brother manitouman- we did it! Two last tour shows together as a team! So awesome to share that with you.
Henry David Thoreau