Throw Your Hatred Down, Part 2

brianlux

First of all, my apologies for saying I was going to take a break from this place and yet a-a-a-a-a-again making a liar of myself. But I thought this was worth sharing. Also, my apologies for this rather lengthy story. Oh to be less long winded.

While shelving some books at the store today, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Joe”) was visiting and we were talking about music as we usually do.
Another customer came up and asked if we had any old Bibles.
I said, “Nothing really old right now, just these here.”
Then for some reason the guy started talking about Obama saying things like, “The Bible’s one book he’s never read… if he even knows how to read.”
Well, Joe is the kind of guy that likes to kid around so he jumped in with “Well, if he does read it’s probably the Koran but he probably just pretends to read that, haha.”
I knew Joe was rather conservative but this threw me off a bit.
He and the other guy went into the usual Obama bashing jokes- the ones we’ve all heard for years now. I tried to ignore then and felt myself getting flustered.
At one point Joe said something like, “Isn’t that right, Brian?”
I gave them both a quick cursory glance and said very politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t talk politics here in the store.”
Joe said, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry Brian.”
I said, “Don’t worry about it,” but just kept on working and didn’t say another word and would not look at either of them. They got the message.
Joe took off for a while and while he was gone the customer went up to the counter with a small purchase. He didn’t find what he wanted but I got the feeling he just wanted to buy something and by the look on his face I think he felt bad about the Obama business. I gave him the total and said, “Tell you what, I’ll pay the tax on that book for you.” He looked at me sheepishly and said thanks but then threw some change in the penny jar anyway- more than the tax worth, and thanked me and we both smiled and he left.
When Joe came back he looked at me and smiled and said he had to take off. I could tell he still felt a bit bad about the Obama business so I just shook his hand and said, “Look forward to seeing you next time, Joe.”
I felt really good about all this because my first thought about the customer was that he was a complete jerk and I had begun to wonder why I like Joe in the first place. But I do. We don’t share the same political views, he’s a die hard Christian and I’m not at all, but he would give me the shirt off his back and I would go to bat for Joe any time. I also felt good because there have been a time or two when I didn’t handle a similar situation as well and realized that a little diplomacy on all sides can make us all better people and with that maybe we can change the world after all.
I hope I can learn to be the same way here and I know I’m not always very good about being diplomatic or keeping my cool and far too often I take it all too personally. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand firm in what I believe. I still believe that in general the Democratic agenda works better for me than Republican agenda. I still think most religions make little sense to me and often lead to wars. And I’ll always fight for the environment, equality and justice and be very firm in those aspirations. But I hope I can be more civil with people I disagree with and not be so easily defensive when confronted or harassed.
I hope I can either ignore the few who come here to make fun of myself or others or try to bate me or others here. To respond with anger or play the same game doesn't make things better. I know because I have done that very thing. If I had done that with Joe or the Bible customer, today would not have been as good a day as it was.

Thanks for listening.

PJfanwillneverleave1

brianlux said:

First of all, my apologies for saying I was going to take a break from this place and yet a-a-a-a-a-again making a liar of myself. But I thought this was worth sharing. Also, my apologies for this rather lengthy story. Oh to be less long winded.

While shelving some books at the store today, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Joe”) was visiting and we were talking about music as we usually do.
Another customer came up and asked if we had any old Bibles.
I said, “Nothing really old right now, just these here.”
Then for some reason the guy started talking about Obama saying things like, “The Bible’s one book he’s never read… if he even knows how to read.”
Well, Joe is the kind of guy that likes to kid around so he jumped in with “Well, if he does read it’s probably the Koran but he probably just pretends to read that, haha.”
I knew Joe was rather conservative but this threw me off a bit.
He and the other guy went into the usual Obama bashing jokes- the ones we’ve all heard for years now. I tried to ignore then and felt myself getting flustered.
At one point Joe said something like, “Isn’t that right, Brian?”
I gave them both a quick cursory glance and said very politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t talk politics here in the store.”
Joe said, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry Brian.”
I said, “Don’t worry about it,” but just kept on working and didn’t say another word and would not look at either of them. They got the message.
Joe took off for a while and while he was gone the customer went up to the counter with a small purchase. He didn’t find what he wanted but I got the feeling he just wanted to buy something and by the look on his face I think he felt bad about the Obama business. I gave him the total and said, “Tell you what, I’ll pay the tax on that book for you.” He looked at me sheepishly and said thanks but then threw some change in the penny jar anyway- more than the tax worth, and thanked me and we both smiled and he left.
When Joe came back he looked at me and smiled and said he had to take off. I could tell he still felt a bit bad about the Obama business so I just shook his hand and said, “Look forward to seeing you next time, Joe.”
I felt really good about all this because my first thought about the customer was that he was a complete jerk and I had begun to wonder why I like Joe in the first place. But I do. We don’t share the same political views, he’s a die hard Christian and I’m not at all, but he would give me the shirt off his back and I would go to bat for Joe any time. I also felt good because there have been a time or two when I didn’t handle a similar situation as well and realized that a little diplomacy on all sides can make us all better people and with that maybe we can change the world after all.
I hope I can learn to be the same way here and I know I’m not always very good about being diplomatic or keeping my cool and far too often I take it all too personally. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand firm in what I believe. I still believe that in general the Democratic agenda works better for me than Republican agenda. I still think most religions make little sense to me and often lead to wars. And I’ll always fight for the environment, equality and justice and be very firm in those aspirations. But I hope I can be more civil with people I disagree with and not be so easily defensive when confronted or harassed.
I hope I can either ignore the few who come here to make fun of myself or others or try to bate me or others here. To respond with anger or play the same game doesn't make things better. I know because I have done that very thing. If I had done that with Joe or the Bible customer, today would not have been as good a day as it was.

Thanks for listening.

With all the breaks you claim you are taking, I think you should take one now.

bootlegger10

You should have just laughed and said "you guys are crazy" or "I'm staying out of this one". You just need to lighten up a little. That post is a good example of taking yourself too seriously (and maybe a little obsessed with politics). Nothing wrong with sticking to your convictions, but there is a time and place for that.

whispering hands

brianlux said:

First of all, my apologies for saying I was going to take a break from this place and yet a-a-a-a-a-again making a liar of myself. But I thought this was worth sharing. Also, my apologies for this rather lengthy story. Oh to be less long winded.

While shelving some books at the store today, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Joe”) was visiting and we were talking about music as we usually do.
Another customer came up and asked if we had any old Bibles.
I said, “Nothing really old right now, just these here.”
Then for some reason the guy started talking about Obama saying things like, “The Bible’s one book he’s never read… if he even knows how to read.”
Well, Joe is the kind of guy that likes to kid around so he jumped in with “Well, if he does read it’s probably the Koran but he probably just pretends to read that, haha.”
I knew Joe was rather conservative but this threw me off a bit.
He and the other guy went into the usual Obama bashing jokes- the ones we’ve all heard for years now. I tried to ignore then and felt myself getting flustered.
At one point Joe said something like, “Isn’t that right, Brian?”
I gave them both a quick cursory glance and said very politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t talk politics here in the store.”
Joe said, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry Brian.”
I said, “Don’t worry about it,” but just kept on working and didn’t say another word and would not look at either of them. They got the message.
Joe took off for a while and while he was gone the customer went up to the counter with a small purchase. He didn’t find what he wanted but I got the feeling he just wanted to buy something and by the look on his face I think he felt bad about the Obama business. I gave him the total and said, “Tell you what, I’ll pay the tax on that book for you.” He looked at me sheepishly and said thanks but then threw some change in the penny jar anyway- more than the tax worth, and thanked me and we both smiled and he left.
When Joe came back he looked at me and smiled and said he had to take off. I could tell he still felt a bit bad about the Obama business so I just shook his hand and said, “Look forward to seeing you next time, Joe.”
I felt really good about all this because my first thought about the customer was that he was a complete jerk and I had begun to wonder why I like Joe in the first place. But I do. We don’t share the same political views, he’s a die hard Christian and I’m not at all, but he would give me the shirt off his back and I would go to bat for Joe any time. I also felt good because there have been a time or two when I didn’t handle a similar situation as well and realized that a little diplomacy on all sides can make us all better people and with that maybe we can change the world after all.
I hope I can learn to be the same way here and I know I’m not always very good about being diplomatic or keeping my cool and far too often I take it all too personally. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand firm in what I believe. I still believe that in general the Democratic agenda works better for me than Republican agenda. I still think most religions make little sense to me and often lead to wars. And I’ll always fight for the environment, equality and justice and be very firm in those aspirations. But I hope I can be more civil with people I disagree with and not be so easily defensive when confronted or harassed.
I hope I can either ignore the few who come here to make fun of myself or others or try to bate me or others here. To respond with anger or play the same game doesn't make things better. I know because I have done that very thing. If I had done that with Joe or the Bible customer, today would not have been as good a day as it was.

Thanks for listening.

I think you handled that rather well. I get really emotionally involved in those same topics, but from the other side from you. I have a tendency to forget that as a Christian, I'm supposed to be an example.. And I often don't handle confrontation well, especially in person. It's a learning process, and everyday when we wake up, school starts all over again with all check marks beside our names in the black board of life, erased. It's our responsibility as humans to make as much effort as we are able, to get it right. I believe in God/Jesus/ and the Holy Spirit, but what good does that serve me if I act just like everyone else? None. I think you did well.

brianlux

bootlegger10 said:

You should have just laughed and said "you guys are crazy" or "I'm staying out of this one".

That's basically what I said. Are you just trying to be contradictory?

bootlegger10 said:

You just need to lighten up a little.

No way. Rust never sleeps. I burn on lean.

bootlegger10 said:

That post is a good example of taking yourself too seriously (and maybe a little obsessed with politics).

Somebody has too. I'm a serious dude. And yeah, I'm obsessed. Suck the marrow out of life. And then chew the bones. You certainly are a critical person aren't you?

bootlegger10 said:

Nothing wrong with sticking to your convictions, but there is a time and place for that.

You must read too fast if that's what you got. Sorry you missed the point.

Do you have anything constructive to add here?

brianlux

whispering hands said:

brianlux said:

First of all, my apologies for saying I was going to take a break from this place and yet a-a-a-a-a-again making a liar of myself. But I thought this was worth sharing. Also, my apologies for this rather lengthy story. Oh to be less long winded.

While shelving some books at the store today, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Joe”) was visiting and we were talking about music as we usually do.
Another customer came up and asked if we had any old Bibles.
I said, “Nothing really old right now, just these here.”
Then for some reason the guy started talking about Obama saying things like, “The Bible’s one book he’s never read… if he even knows how to read.”
Well, Joe is the kind of guy that likes to kid around so he jumped in with “Well, if he does read it’s probably the Koran but he probably just pretends to read that, haha.”
I knew Joe was rather conservative but this threw me off a bit.
He and the other guy went into the usual Obama bashing jokes- the ones we’ve all heard for years now. I tried to ignore then and felt myself getting flustered.
At one point Joe said something like, “Isn’t that right, Brian?”
I gave them both a quick cursory glance and said very politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t talk politics here in the store.”
Joe said, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry Brian.”
I said, “Don’t worry about it,” but just kept on working and didn’t say another word and would not look at either of them. They got the message.
Joe took off for a while and while he was gone the customer went up to the counter with a small purchase. He didn’t find what he wanted but I got the feeling he just wanted to buy something and by the look on his face I think he felt bad about the Obama business. I gave him the total and said, “Tell you what, I’ll pay the tax on that book for you.” He looked at me sheepishly and said thanks but then threw some change in the penny jar anyway- more than the tax worth, and thanked me and we both smiled and he left.
When Joe came back he looked at me and smiled and said he had to take off. I could tell he still felt a bit bad about the Obama business so I just shook his hand and said, “Look forward to seeing you next time, Joe.”
I felt really good about all this because my first thought about the customer was that he was a complete jerk and I had begun to wonder why I like Joe in the first place. But I do. We don’t share the same political views, he’s a die hard Christian and I’m not at all, but he would give me the shirt off his back and I would go to bat for Joe any time. I also felt good because there have been a time or two when I didn’t handle a similar situation as well and realized that a little diplomacy on all sides can make us all better people and with that maybe we can change the world after all.
I hope I can learn to be the same way here and I know I’m not always very good about being diplomatic or keeping my cool and far too often I take it all too personally. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand firm in what I believe. I still believe that in general the Democratic agenda works better for me than Republican agenda. I still think most religions make little sense to me and often lead to wars. And I’ll always fight for the environment, equality and justice and be very firm in those aspirations. But I hope I can be more civil with people I disagree with and not be so easily defensive when confronted or harassed.
I hope I can either ignore the few who come here to make fun of myself or others or try to bate me or others here. To respond with anger or play the same game doesn't make things better. I know because I have done that very thing. If I had done that with Joe or the Bible customer, today would not have been as good a day as it was.

Thanks for listening.

I think you handled that rather well. I get really emotionally involved in those same topics, but from the other side from you. I have a tendency to forget that as a Christian, I'm supposed to be an example.. And I often don't handle confrontation well, especially in person. It's a learning process, and everyday when we wake up, school starts all over again with all check marks beside our names in the black board of life, erased. It's our responsibility as humans to make as much effort as we are able, to get it right. I believe in God/Jesus/ and the Holy Spirit, but what good does that serve me if I act just like everyone else? None. I think you did well.

I used to call myself a Christian, partly because I had good friends who were a lot like you Whispering and I wanted to be close to them. I've pretty much gone my own way long ago and although I don't really have a religion anymore (but the Spirit- oh yes!) but I must say, you shine the light well, Whispering. I can dig that.

rr165892

Brian,I would think in your proffesion,with your business,many of interesting convos would go on within the store.I mean every subject and opinion could be on the table as each customer is coming in to get something different.Your surrounded by millions of thoughts and ideas on every subject imaginable.Some you agree with and some you don't.Which would be the same for all of us if in your position.
I guess you have to ride it like a wave a bit.Be Kinda a bartender.Listening,nodding,shaking your head ,laughing.Never getting to wrapped up in others views.When they leave (after buying something of course) then you can let your guard down and reflect on what you do or don't agree with.I would think you would like the free flowing of ideas,manifested from books in your store.I think it's ok to sit back and let others look like assholes.(if that's your take).Thats part of the fun right.

BS44325

brianlux said:

First of all, my apologies for saying I was going to take a break from this place and yet a-a-a-a-a-again making a liar of myself. But I thought this was worth sharing. Also, my apologies for this rather lengthy story. Oh to be less long winded.

While shelving some books at the store today, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Joe”) was visiting and we were talking about music as we usually do.
Another customer came up and asked if we had any old Bibles.
I said, “Nothing really old right now, just these here.”
Then for some reason the guy started talking about Obama saying things like, “The Bible’s one book he’s never read… if he even knows how to read.”
Well, Joe is the kind of guy that likes to kid around so he jumped in with “Well, if he does read it’s probably the Koran but he probably just pretends to read that, haha.”
I knew Joe was rather conservative but this threw me off a bit.
He and the other guy went into the usual Obama bashing jokes- the ones we’ve all heard for years now. I tried to ignore then and felt myself getting flustered.
At one point Joe said something like, “Isn’t that right, Brian?”
I gave them both a quick cursory glance and said very politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t talk politics here in the store.”
Joe said, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry Brian.”
I said, “Don’t worry about it,” but just kept on working and didn’t say another word and would not look at either of them. They got the message.
Joe took off for a while and while he was gone the customer went up to the counter with a small purchase. He didn’t find what he wanted but I got the feeling he just wanted to buy something and by the look on his face I think he felt bad about the Obama business. I gave him the total and said, “Tell you what, I’ll pay the tax on that book for you.” He looked at me sheepishly and said thanks but then threw some change in the penny jar anyway- more than the tax worth, and thanked me and we both smiled and he left.
When Joe came back he looked at me and smiled and said he had to take off. I could tell he still felt a bit bad about the Obama business so I just shook his hand and said, “Look forward to seeing you next time, Joe.”
I felt really good about all this because my first thought about the customer was that he was a complete jerk and I had begun to wonder why I like Joe in the first place. But I do. We don’t share the same political views, he’s a die hard Christian and I’m not at all, but he would give me the shirt off his back and I would go to bat for Joe any time. I also felt good because there have been a time or two when I didn’t handle a similar situation as well and realized that a little diplomacy on all sides can make us all better people and with that maybe we can change the world after all.
I hope I can learn to be the same way here and I know I’m not always very good about being diplomatic or keeping my cool and far too often I take it all too personally. That doesn’t mean I won’t stand firm in what I believe. I still believe that in general the Democratic agenda works better for me than Republican agenda. I still think most religions make little sense to me and often lead to wars. And I’ll always fight for the environment, equality and justice and be very firm in those aspirations. But I hope I can be more civil with people I disagree with and not be so easily defensive when confronted or harassed.
I hope I can either ignore the few who come here to make fun of myself or others or try to bate me or others here. To respond with anger or play the same game doesn't make things better. I know because I have done that very thing. If I had done that with Joe or the Bible customer, today would not have been as good a day as it was.

Thanks for listening.

Great post and your approach was perfect. In my business I get hit with this a lot from the opposite perspective and I never engage in the political discussion...just smile and respect my customer's right to their political opinion. There is a time in place for everything and I think your customers respect you for it.

Just as an aside...if you could imagine what it was like to be one of the secret supporters of crack smoking Mayor Rob Ford during the last Toronto election. Divisive talk was a daily occurrence. People had their hate on for that guy and it was hard to blame them. Apparently people don't like crack.