If I had 15 minutes

justam

If I had just fifteen minutes to sum up
those sun-splashed race cars in my mind
as I process the end of this job
the hum-hum might cover up
the meaning, if I even know it myself!
but I’ll try to unwrap bits...
here’s what I’m noticing as students hear the news
We’re moving!
there’s an awkwardness in some goodbyes
even an edge of anger from those who love me most
(I feel it under the surface, something like,
“How can you go so easily when you just got here?!”)
I feel it, but mostly I can’t explain my reasons.
those who have no great stake either way are casual
and there’s no intensity
those are easy breezy
but
the few who have some bit of malice
(which is surprising to me!)
are revealing it now that they know I won’t be staying
it’s intriguing
for sure, courage is not a virtue of those people!
for if I were staying, they’d never throw their orange spikes out
but a few oddities appear with the knowledge I’m going!!

I think the hardest part is
the anger from those that love me
I know they must be the most wounded
from what they believe to be my lack of attachment