I Covet....

oftenreading

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

Yeah, but what does FSM have to say about coveting?

AceCool

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

F Me In The Brain

oftenreading said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

Yeah, but what does FSM have to say about coveting?

Doesnt really get into it in his Condiments.

The Condiments, known as the eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", are the sacred suggestions given to the Pirate Captain Mosey by Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself. While brooding atop Mount Salsa, Mosey received some advice from Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. There were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts," but two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarian' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monster's commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths and nutrition.


The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"Edit

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really. I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. OK?

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Kill, Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water; not people.

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, and get this in your thick heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion. Then, I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is, " Go f*** yourself good on you," Unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then, go after the B******

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/ Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (take your pick)
Ending Poverty,
Curing Diseases,
Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable..
I might be a complex-carbohydrate, omniscient being, But I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the Creator.

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And, I told you to love your fellow man. Can't you take a hint?

I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (Pursuant To #4), then have at it. Take Pictures. But for the love of Mike, wear A CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it, I would have added spikes or something.
Ramen.

The FSM Church Of New Zealand (an offshoot, to be sure) has this to say, but that is not from The Gospel of the FSM, which the above is:

Ninth of all, thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s Pasta or Ramen, or any dangly things.

Tenth of all, thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s wife, unless they covet thou

F Me In The Brain

And, really, if you read those and you disagree? You are probably a dope.
I covet a big glove to slap upside your head if you don't agree with those condiments of basic human decency.

hedonist

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

F Me In The Brain

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Amongst the Ani

F Me In The Brain said:

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Question, how does one who does not eat carbs enjoy FSM?

northerndragon

Amongst the Ani said:

F Me In The Brain said:

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Question, how does one who does not eat carbs enjoy FSM?

They go straight for the balls.

F Me In The Brain

Amongst the Ani said:

F Me In The Brain said:

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Question, how does one who does not eat carbs enjoy FSM?

ND may be correct - the balls have no carbs. LOL
Pirates are considered holy beings. Pirates help fight global warming and protect against natural disasters. Every Pastafarian should strive towards pirate-hood.
Drinking Rum or Beer is also a common celebration of his Noodley Goodness.

F Me In The Brain

I covet this:

oftenreading

F Me In The Brain said:

Amongst the Ani said:

F Me In The Brain said:

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Question, how does one who does not eat carbs enjoy FSM?

ND may be correct - the balls have no carbs. LOL
Pirates are considered holy beings. Pirates help fight global warming and protect against natural disasters. Every Pastafarian should strive towards pirate-hood.
Drinking Rum or Beer is also a common celebration of his Noodley Goodness.

Pirates have been known to drink wine, too. But only the red stuff. None of those frou frou whites that need to be chilled.

F Me In The Brain

oftenreading said:

F Me In The Brain said:

Amongst the Ani said:

F Me In The Brain said:

hedonist said:

AceCool said:

F Me In The Brain said:

...my neighbor's wife.
Oh -- wait, that was 'I shall not covet'
Nothing to see, carry on.

You beat me to it.

Before you females beat me up, I'm not into adultery or anything like that. Every time I see the word 'covet' the first thing that pops into my head is 'neighbor's wife'.

That word tends to make me think of Silence of the Lambs.

F Me, fuckin' A!

Another convert to the teachings of the one and holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
R'Amen!

I covet a big ass bowl of pasta and a bottle of rum.

Question, how does one who does not eat carbs enjoy FSM?

ND may be correct - the balls have no carbs. LOL
Pirates are considered holy beings. Pirates help fight global warming and protect against natural disasters. Every Pastafarian should strive towards pirate-hood.
Drinking Rum or Beer is also a common celebration of his Noodley Goodness.

Pirates have been known to drink wine, too. But only the red stuff. None of those frou frou whites that need to be chilled.

You know more about wine than I do, to be sure, but don't some reds get chilled as well?
Are those excluded?

hedonist

F Me In The Brain said:

You know more about wine than I do, to be sure, but don't some reds get chilled as well?
Are those excluded?

Well great. Now I'm coveting this...like NOW.

F Me In The Brain

A nice Lambrusco, perhaps? Or a Beaujolais?

Amongst the Ani

White wines matter!

whispering hands

Amongst the Ani said:

White wines matter!

you forgot the hashtag!!

rssesq

cartman jokes

whispering hands

Sleep

rgambs

All the beautiful women of the world.
Which is almost all the women of the world.
They all have something going for them and I wish I could devote myself to exploring their mysteries for a lifetime of lifetimes each.

whispering hands

rgambs said:

All the beautiful women of the world.
Which is almost all the women of the world.
They all have something going for them and I wish I could devote myself to exploring their mysteries for a lifetime of lifetimes each.

That is beautiful Gambs.