I often wonder about the circumstances surrounding my father, since he was alone when he passed. He wasn't officially sick, but he never took care of himself. It was listed as natural and artereosclerotic cardivascular stuff. But I have no idea what actually happens, and nobody will really know either. Sucks.
"Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2 2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
^^^ hey Sam sometimes I think we echo each other when we write about the deaths of our fathers. I feel the same way. Mine died in his sleep. Alone in the house. He had a history of cardiac issues but had checked out fine not long before he died. He wasn't taking care of himself. My mom didn't do an autopsy. He was listed as passing of a heart attack. I really never verbalized my doubts and fears but they were there especially in the beginning.
Pickupyourwill... Thoughts are with you. I know it's a tough time
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It's really hard to lose someone so unexpectedly, especially someone as close as a parent. There can be so much unfinished business and such a sense of unreality that you just can't believe it. I lost my grandfather in much the same way from a heart attack; he and my grandmother were at home having lunch and then he went into the living room to read the newspaper before they went out for a walk. When my grandmother was finished cleaning up the kitchen she went into the living room and he was dead. Just like that, no warning. I'm not equating the emotional impact here; just saying that it can be that quick and still be completely natural.
Don't beat yourself up for this, and don't force yourself to "let it go" or "move on"; that will all come in it's own timeline. Sometimes other people will want you to "move on" because your grief is making them uncomfortable, but that's their problem, not yours. Maybe just find an understanding person to talk to about your dad so it doesn't feel so much like he's "lost without a fight".
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
I lost my father to a heart attack, last year. I was closer to my dad than I am to anyone on the planet. I was with him, as a whole team of doctors fought incredibly hard to resuscitate him in Emergency. His death was sudden and unexpected, even though he was in his late eighties: he'd always been a very active man. Sometimes you can see with your own eyes that someone's passing is natural and that all that could humanly be done to save that person has been done. Nonetheless, the shock of witnessing the sudden end of a dear life defies one's will to try to process it logically.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to feel and talk through all the feelings you're feeling. Everything you're going through is part of the grieving process. I know. I'm dealing with it too.
I lost my father to a heart attack, last year. I was closer to my dad than I am to anyone on the planet. I was with him, as a whole team of doctors fought incredibly hard to resuscitate him in Emergency. His death was sudden and unexpected, even though he was in his late eighties: he'd always been a very active man. Sometimes you can see with your own eyes that someone's passing is natural and that all that could humanly be done to save that person has been done. Nonetheless, the shock of witnessing the sudden end of a dear life defies one's will to try to process it logically.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to feel and talk through all the feelings you're feeling. Everything you're going through is part of the grieving process. I know. I'm dealing with it too.
It's really hard to lose someone so unexpectedly, especially someone as close as a parent. There can be so much unfinished business and such a sense of unreality that you just can't believe it. I lost my grandfather in much the same way from a heart attack; he and my grandmother were at home having lunch and then he went into the living room to read the newspaper before they went out for a walk. When my grandmother was finished cleaning up the kitchen she went into the living room and he was dead. Just like that, no warning. I'm not equating the emotional impact here; just saying that it can be that quick and still be completely natural.
Don't beat yourself up for this, and don't force yourself to "let it go" or "move on"; that will all come in it's own timeline. Sometimes other people will want you to "move on" because your grief is making them uncomfortable, but that's their problem, not yours. Maybe just find an understanding person to talk to about your dad so it doesn't feel so much like he's "lost without a fight".
Thank you. I've heard other stories during and after dad's service like your grandfather's. He definitely had some issues with his health. So a natural heart attack isn't out of the question.
I've had so many paranoid, conspiracy type things run through my mind but I can't keep doing that to myself.
The unfinished business part sucks. My brother and I had a lot planned for getting dad back on track--with everything. We took for granted how much time we had left. It makes you re-evaluate your last 5 years and how it should have been spent on him. There was so much wasted time on other things and people.
Thank you, Ten Club, for letting me get some of it out on here.
Get as much of it out as you want to on here, and feel free to PM me if you want.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
pickupyourwill
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~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
Pickupyourwill... Thoughts are with you. I know it's a tough time
6/19/95 Red Rocks
9/11/98 MSG
11/19/12 EV solo Tulsa
7/19/13 Wrigley 10/19/13 Brooklyn 2 10/21/13 Philly 1 10/22/13 Philly 2 10/25/13 Hartford
10/08/14 Tulsa 10/09/14 Lincoln
9/26/15 NYC Global Citizen
4/16/16 Greenville 4/28/16 Philly 1 4/29/16 Philly 2 5/1/16 MSG 1 5/2/16 MSG 2 8/7/16 Fenway 2 8/20/16 Wrigley 1
4/7/17 RRHOF New York City
9/2/18 Fenway 1 9/4/2018 Fenway 2
9/18/21 Asbury Park
2/4/22 EV Earthlings NYC 2/6/22 EV Earthlings Newark 9/11/22 MSG 9/14/22 Camden
9/3/24 MSG 1 9/4/24 MSG 2 9/7/24 Philly 1 9/9/24 Philly 2
My father died 6-1/2 years ago, but no doubt of the ultimate cause.
I can't imagine wondering otherwise, and wish you well (and peace of mind, however you get there) from here.
Don't beat yourself up for this, and don't force yourself to "let it go" or "move on"; that will all come in it's own timeline. Sometimes other people will want you to "move on" because your grief is making them uncomfortable, but that's their problem, not yours. Maybe just find an understanding person to talk to about your dad so it doesn't feel so much like he's "lost without a fight".
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to feel and talk through all the feelings you're feeling. Everything you're going through is part of the grieving process. I know. I'm dealing with it too.
Thank you, FPC.
Get as much of it out as you want to on here, and feel free to PM me if you want.