blank stare (vacantly) carpet

chadwick

woke up
opened eyes slowly
went back closed
repeated a number of times
yeah it's daylight out there
other side of window
in here exhausted misery feels real

somehow i'll get up
the floor will hold my eyes awhile
bed's edge will soon leave me from under
stand up please (fuck)
i'll shuffle scootin along
bones 97 years old
full of bad times from spitting cobras splitting bone
full concrete blows break
twisted sharpened nails on whips drag over these bones

the human spirit rises
now mountains call out (demand)
like a stone wall pit
moist musty earthy
overpowering mildew
moldy straw laughs at me
rat shit & pungent urine within tortured this flesh & bone box (be still the crawling, i beg)

the nightmare is with me here
what if i can't win
darker the shadow (falls)... (the drunk collapsing like a rusty razor)
it knows i'll not give up
fight the fuck
choke darkness with my own flesh
eat up you bastard
this is my holiday
cold, stiff, gray, rotten & the forgotten goodness that didn't hurt

i do know that somewhere
someday
a single cherry tree will be mine
i'll share under a sweet sunshine
warming two