PJ Lyrics and Mental Issues...

PJSiren

I posted a Bipolar thread looking for other BP PJ fans or anyone with mental illness really...over in AET...but I thought I would post this here....what songs reach out to you as someone who is dealing with Bipolar or depression or any other mental illness...

For me it's always been Corduroy....that songs has been my theme song since I was like 15...I'm 32 now...it really means a lot to me, and got me through some tough times....

Are there other songs from the band that have helped you in your rough times?

whispering hands

A lot if them. For me, I deal with things in a weird way. I go through my manic stages with a million thoughts that are whittled down to one.. ( I wrote about this in the poetry wall ),Then I am STUCK on that train of thought for the entire depression phase.. I dream about it, I write about it, I draw the pictures it conjures up in my head..
Then at some point I come to a conclusion as to where I stand on whatever the current thought may have been.. So, there is also a soundtrack where I listen to songs that support that current thought.. Tool's Ænemia was one that lasted for over a year.. I wrote the phrases I wanna flush it all away, bring it back to what it oughta be, and learn to swim on EVERYTHING!! I LIVED that song!! Stabbing Westward has had a theme with the song Save You.. I was stuck on the lyric if I must be lonely I think I'd rather be alone..
So this has happened many many times with PJ too. Daughter was the entire song.. RVM was the Enmities gauged, united by fear.. And once and for all I'm far away.. Hard to believe finally the shades are raised.. Garden was the first though.. And what got me through my sic ideal hours were the lines I don't show I don't share, I don't need what you have to give.. And the second variation, I don't know I don't care, I don't need you for me to live.. Scary thing? Nearly all these, had to do with dealing with something related to my
Biological mother.. Go figure!

PJSiren

I have a lot of songs by a lot of other bands/singers as well...Daughter and Release also helped me to deal with my bio dad so I can totally understand where you're coming from on that topic, Daughter was my anger towards him for so many years and finally more recently in about the last year Release, even thought I knew what it was about years ago, it finally helped me find a place where I've forgiven him and let go of all that anger....
Corduroy is like me telling people to go fuck themselves if they don't understand me or want to take the time to try and understand me...and that I'm going to live how I want to live and no one is going to try to put me in their little box.
I have the lyric "Sorry to burn so unexpectedly..." tattooed on my arm, it's by Christian Kane, a song called Track 29 that I feel like was written for me...and the lyrics is actually about his temper, but for me, it's about the switch from one extreme to the other and not knowing when it's going to happen or what's going to trigger it, and that I'm sorry to my family that they get to deal with me...
I also feel like Pendulum is a good song for BP, it just describes it so well, to me...the experience, I'd really like to know what Eddie was thinking about when he wrote it...but yeah, those lyrics just scream BP to me...

whispering hands

Yes Pendulum is a perfect BP song!! And in that aspect I relate completely to that song! That and My Father's Son. I know Ed says he wasn't writing it from personal experience, but that lyric, This gene pool dark and deep..can I get a reprieve.. Just sits perfect with the fact that BO can be inherited as well.

PJSiren

I hadn't really looked at My Father's Son that way, but you're right...though I didn't inherit it from my father, but I get what you mean...

whispering hands

Yeah, I definitely had it run in both myGrandma and my
Mother.. So for me, it's her, not my Dad.

PJSiren

I think my mom has it but is undiagnosed, but I don;t know about anymore before her and I don;t know about anyone on my dad's side of the family, getting info from him about anything is like pulling teeth...

I was thinking, Lightning Bolt is kind of a good song for it too...for a manic episode...

PJSiren

The more I listen to Lightning Bolt(the song, not the whole album) the more I feel like it's really fitting to me in manic state...The way it comes on out of no where and I'm wild and crazy, and very difficult to deal with...

marynicole27

BP, depression, various eating disorders, anxiety... a real mix of everything

The thing that drew me to PJ, had me clinging to lyrics and crying over words, was that I felt that somewhere out there, somewhere in this giant world, was someone who felt exactly like I did. Listening to Ed's lyrics, you know that something has plagued him (i.e. his father). The way he harnessed such anger and sadness into something as beautiful as his music has always amazed me.

A little disclaimer - my parents have never harmed me, lied to me, neglected me, etc. Though they will never understand why I am the way I am, I do not blame them. The only explanation I have (straight from the doctors) is that I am this way simply because I was born this way.

A little obvious, but Footsteps - that one was the first that really jumped out at me, lyrics that were very easy to understand and heartbreakingly relatable. Though I know my parents (my mother, really) love me, it is hard to forget about the bullying I've been through with them because of social anxiety, depression, mood swings, therapy, etc. My mother has no filter and assumes that I will bounce everything she says off. My relationship with her is very strained. We don't talk often. She herself suffers from BP but refuses to treat it or even acknowledge it. I tend to avoid her whenever possible. I associate this song with her - somewhat. Just in that I refuse to let her inside of my head, inside of my feelings, and I refuse to let her affect me anymore. "I've got scratches all over my arms" too many people relate to this particular lyric than I'd ever imagine. Too many people for comfort.

Certain lyrics from various songs stand out to me more than most whole songs do. Pendulum - "nothing works, works for me anymore". Thumbing My Way - "no matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead" Like you said, Corduroy. For me, I was a very rebellious adolescent. I'd just been given all of these different diagnoses, different labels for what was wrong with me. I was being hospitalized for my first fight with an ED. Vitalogy was my go-to album at the time. Corduroy stood out to me the most because it was just so rebellious. "I don't want to hear from those who know" - I know now after digging around that it isn't necessarily about rebellion (I think it's about the media...?) but it's something that sticks to me.

I mentioned this on another post, but Inside Job has to hit me the hardest. While it applies perfectly (to me) to my eating disorders, I do think the lyrics mesh with depression as well. "Underneath this smile lies everything", "I will not lose my faith", "how I choose to feel, is how I am" - this one is the one that gets me. How I choose to feel, is how I am. That is a beautiful thing to have realized. Though it doesn't magically make my moods constant, my fatigue fade, my mind clear... It is nice to hold on to, even if it's just for a moment.

Pearl Jam should be prescribed (in small doses, of course... just look what happens when you're addicted, you spend a half hour analyzing song lyrics).

whispering hands

Welcome Marynicole27! If we could spend HALF as much time analyzing song lyrics as we do fighting our demons, think of how much happier we'd be!! Glad you made it here.

HughFreakingDillon

Oceans. RVM. Hold On. Not For You. Footsteps. Drifting. Strangest Tribe.

pickupyourwill

All Those Yesterdays, State of Love and Trust, Why Go, Once, Save You, My Father's Son, Daughter...to name a few...

PJSiren

marynicole27 said:

"I've got scratches all over my arms" too many people relate to this particular lyric than I'd ever imagine. Too many people for comfort.

blockquote>

First Welcome, and thank you for sharing...and yes, that lyric has always got me too...I have this thing where when I'm being weened off of a med I get litterally kinda crazy and I want to peel my skin off with my finger nails, I literally have had scratches all over my arms from this and that song hit me so hard one time after this happened to me...

I want to mention a song that isn't PJ...The Cowboy In Me by Tim McGraw...This song has always screamed to me, I feel what he's talking about, I'm my own worst enemy, and I wake up fighting mad sometimes...and all the other issues he covers...it's really quite a perfect fit for BP...

Sarah

marynicole27 said:

BP, depression, various eating disorders, anxiety... a real mix of everything



The thing that drew me to PJ, had me clinging to lyrics and crying over words, was that I felt that somewhere out there, somewhere in this giant world, was someone who felt exactly like I did. Listening to Ed's lyrics, you know that something has plagued him (i.e. his father). The way he harnessed such anger and sadness into something as beautiful as his music has always amazed me.



A little disclaimer - my parents have never harmed me, lied to me, neglected me, etc. Though they will never understand why I am the way I am, I do not blame them. The only explanation I have (straight from the doctors) is that I am this way simply because I was born this way.



A little obvious, but Footsteps - that one was the first that really jumped out at me, lyrics that were very easy to understand and heartbreakingly relatable. Though I know my parents (my mother, really) love me, it is hard to forget about the bullying I've been through with them because of social anxiety, depression, mood swings, therapy, etc. My mother has no filter and assumes that I will bounce everything she says off. My relationship with her is very strained. We don't talk often. She herself suffers from BP but refuses to treat it or even acknowledge it. I tend to avoid her whenever possible. I associate this song with her - somewhat. Just in that I refuse to let her inside of my head, inside of my feelings, and I refuse to let her affect me anymore. "I've got scratches all over my arms" too many people relate to this particular lyric than I'd ever imagine. Too many people for comfort.



Certain lyrics from various songs stand out to me more than most whole songs do. Pendulum - "nothing works, works for me anymore". Thumbing My Way - "no matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead" Like you said, Corduroy. For me, I was a very rebellious adolescent. I'd just been given all of these different diagnoses, different labels for what was wrong with me. I was being hospitalized for my first fight with an ED. Vitalogy was my go-to album at the time. Corduroy stood out to me the most because it was just so rebellious. "I don't want to hear from those who know" - I know now after digging around that it isn't necessarily about rebellion (I think it's about the media...?) but it's something that sticks to me.



I mentioned this on another post, but Inside Job has to hit me the hardest. While it applies perfectly (to me) to my eating disorders, I do think the lyrics mesh with depression as well. "Underneath this smile lies everything", "I will not lose my faith", "how I choose to feel, is how I am" - this one is the one that gets me. How I choose to feel, is how I am. That is a beautiful thing to have realized. Though it doesn't magically make my moods constant, my fatigue fade, my mind clear... It is nice to hold on to, even if it's just for a moment.



Pearl Jam should be prescribed (in small doses, of course... just look what happens when you're addicted, you spend a half hour analyzing song lyrics).

Was going to come into this thread and post about myself, but I just wanted to commend you for your fantastic and brave post. Kudos.

BrokenHalos

I was a fifteen year old runaway in the summer of 1992, escaping a physically, sexually and verbally abusive home life. I was struggling with homelessness and depression and ptsd when I first heard a man sing about a pillow made of concrete. I can honestly say that the album saved my life. From the songs that I could viscerally relate to (even flow, deep, why go) to the meditative ones (oceans, release, garden) from the ones that motivated me (porch, alive, jeremy) to the song that breaks my heart everytime, black. Learning that somebody somewhere was dealing with similar issues of mental health, of pain and suffering and rebirth and redemption meant everything to me. I had been pondering my maker, I had been pondering my will. I was surrounded by the west coast heroin of the 90s and was scared straight about how far needles could go. I was freezing, I did feel like my life was on pause while regular teenagers went to school I wondered when my life would begin again. I was totally estranged from my family and why go home was my own personal refrain, and kept me secure in the knowledge that I was not the only one. I was just drifting and riding my wave, holding in my pain. The daily affirmation that yes, I am still alive led to a zen approach to existence and greater harmony with my surroundings. As I approach 40 trips around the sun, I can not imagine my life without the boys. Reading how these songs touch others struggling with mental health issues is comforting to me - again we are not alone in this life no matter how much we may feel like it sometimes. Don't forget to hug yourself today

PJSiren

scorpio2k said:

I was a fifteen year old runaway in the summer of 1992, escaping a physically, sexually and verbally abusive home life. I was struggling with homelessness and depression and ptsd when I first heard a man sing about a pillow made of concrete. I can honestly say that the album saved my life. From the songs that I could viscerally relate to (even flow, deep, why go) to the meditative ones (oceans, release, garden) from the ones that motivated me (porch, alive, jeremy) to the song that breaks my heart everytime, black. Learning that somebody somewhere was dealing with similar issues of mental health, of pain and suffering and rebirth and redemption meant everything to me. I had been pondering my maker, I had been pondering my will. I was surrounded by the west coast heroin of the 90s and was scared straight about how far needles could go. I was freezing, I did feel like my life was on pause while regular teenagers went to school I wondered when my life would begin again. I was totally estranged from my family and why go home was my own personal refrain, and kept me secure in the knowledge that I was not the only one. I was just drifting and riding my wave, holding in my pain. The daily affirmation that yes, I am still alive led to a zen approach to existence and greater harmony with my surroundings. As I approach 40 trips around the sun, I can not imagine my life without the boys. Reading how these songs touch others struggling with mental health issues is comforting to me - again we are not alone in this life no matter how much we may feel like it sometimes. Don't forget to hug yourself today

I was MIA for a while so I never saw this...thank you for sharing! You said it so well...hearing that music and feeling it and knowing someone out there knew what you were going through and shared it the way they did...and his voice expresses the pain and healing so well. I was 12 when I heard Daughter for the first and related to it because of my absentee father and I went in search of more Pearl Jam and discovered a wealth of emotion and pain and healing and redemption that I related to all too well.

Shyner

Why go 

ledvedderman

Present Tense is my go-to whether manic or depressed.