Death and Dignity

Godfather.

http://fox5sandiego.com/2014/10/07/woman-29-chooses-to-end-life-2-days-after-husbands-birthday/

what would you choose to do ? I agree with this woman.

Godfather.

Last-12-Exit

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

Godfather.

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

Last-12-Exit

Godfather. said:

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

It is terrible that people are stricken with these rare diseases so young in life. I'm glad, in Oregon, at least, you have the option to end the pain.

GF, I will not try and pretend I understand your sis-in-laws disease or her decision to keep living. Has she seriously considered ending it? If she has, do you live in a state like Oregon that will assist? Would your family object or fight her if she decided she wanted to die?

hedonist

I'm sorry about your sister-in-law, GF. It's a blessing, maybe a comfort too, to have that option. Everyone should.

As for this young woman, I can't imagine being in that position, faced with this. Quality of life is so important - being able to smile, speak, be aware, as little pain as possible. I've often wondered what I would do if confronted with a similar situation.

I feel so bad for her husband (and her too, of course).

rr165892

I had to put down one of our Dogs last weekend.15 years old.We brought in a great service called Lap of Love.They come to the house,we went out into our garden,made our pup as comfy as possible,light breeze we could hold her in the final moments and they gentle put her to sleep.No pain,dignity and a touching few moments.
Why can't we do this same service for humans???

hedonist

Wow, rr...my condolences. I got tears reading that - will never forget when we did the same with our cat several years ago. At the vet, but that same gentleness and compassion shown by the techs.

What a wonderful service to provide at one of the worst times.

Amen to your last sentence, too.

rr165892

Thx Hedo,our rat terrier was deaf,blind and had a bad hip.I think we may have held off a week longer then we should have.But I couldn't be more thankful for this service.They make a little plaster footprint,and where they shave a little spot for the shot,they put a lil bit of fur in a heart shaped box.Very classy.Wifey was a wreck,but the service let her be with our dog thru the whole passing and they bring out our other dogs to say goodbye.Couldnt have had a situation go any better in those circumstances.

brianlux

rr165892 said:

I had to put down one of our Dogs last weekend.15 years old.We brought in a great service called Lap of Love.They come to the house,we went out into our garden,made our pup as comfy as possible,light breeze we could hold her in the final moments and they gentle put her to sleep.No pain,dignity and a touching few moments.
Why can't we do this same service for humans???

Sad story, rr. Sorry to hear about losing your dog. It's so hard to put a beloved pet down even when we know it's the right thing to do. I've had to do that a number of times- no regrets, just sorrow and sweet memories.

Someone once told me- and I know this sounds a bit harsh in a way- that we tend to put quantity of human life over quality which is why we can put our pets down when it's time but not our selves or our human loved ones. I would want that choice at least in the case of being in constant unrelenting, unbearable pain.

PJ_Soul

I passionately support the right to die with dignity. Those who actually actively work to keep this from being legal in most of North America piss me off to no end. I send to them an emphatic "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"
Good for this woman, making this a decision she's sharing to help the fight for this right. I admire all the people who fight this fight; just the fact that they are willing to put in the work to advocate for it while they are dealing with a terminal illness tells us just how important and meaningful this right is to those who need to exercise it.

PJ_Soul

rr165892 said:

I had to put down one of our Dogs last weekend.15 years old.We brought in a great service called Lap of Love.They come to the house,we went out into our garden,made our pup as comfy as possible,light breeze we could hold her in the final moments and they gentle put her to sleep.No pain,dignity and a touching few moments.
Why can't we do this same service for humans???

Absolutely - it makes me sick that there are people out there who work to deny people the dignity and comfort that is considered humane when it comes to animals... it's actually frowned upon when people don't take this step with their pets and livestock when the right time comes.

Sorry about your dog. :(

hedonist

PJ_Soul said:

I passionately support the right to die with dignity. Those who actually actively work to keep this from being legal in most of North America piss me off to no end. I send to them an emphatic "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"
Good for this woman, making this a decision she's sharing to help the fight for this right. I admire all the people who fight this fight; just the fact that they are willing to put in the work to advocate for it while they are dealing with a terminal illness tells us just how important and meaningful this right is to those who need to exercise it.

Yeah, my father and I spoke often about Dr. Kevorkian (we both supported his cause). That he served EIGHT YEARS for his humane actions incenses me. Forget about the assholes who commit actual fucked up crimes and serve less time - the fact that he did time at all...ugh.

This makes me realize yet again we need to get our living wills in order, given that this CHOICE is still illegal by these means in this liberal state of mine.

Godfather.

Last-12-Exit said:

Godfather. said:

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

It is terrible that people are stricken with these rare diseases so young in life. I'm glad, in Oregon, at least, you have the option to end the pain.

GF, I will not try and pretend I understand your sis-in-laws disease or her decision to keep living. Has she seriously considered ending it? If she has, do you live in a state like Oregon that will assist? Would your family object or fight her if she decided she wanted to die?

if that were her choice I doubt anybody would fight her on it and if she has thought about it my Bro never said anything, he did tell me she said she wishes she could die but I really don't think she would leave any sooner than she has to just because of her kids and grand kids.
oh and we live in California..a state where everybody in local government thinks they know what is best for you hahhahahha.

Godfather.

Drowned Out

Godfather. said:

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

Brutal, man :(. A good friend of mine from high school, who lived in my basement suite up until 3 years ago, was stricken with the same disorder 2 years ago. He woke up one morning and could barely move his legs...within a week or so, he was in a chair, speech impeded, all of his motor skills completely fucked...and he hasn't been the same since :(. It affects his emotions, too...so he cries a lot. So hard to see him like that, and so messed to think how something like that could show up literally over night. Sorry to hear about your sis-in-law.

My old man, now in his mid 60's, has been obsessed with his death forever. I bet the guy has rewritten his will 25 times, but refuses to change his life expectancy in his retirement budget ). He told me a couple weeks ago that if it's ever decided that it's time for him to move to a care facility, that that's the time to go to Amsterdam and end it. He insists he would prefer death to depending on others and living out his days surrounded by the sick and miserable, and I believe him. I told him I didn't need to be asked twice to go to Amsterdam . Hopefully by the time it's his time, right-to-die laws in Canada will have become more humane.

hedonist

Drowned, I'm sorry about your friend; how frightening that such drastic change can happen so quickly. It's gotta be a mindfuck on top of a bodyfuck. Part of me wants to ask why, what's the point of it? But I know there aren't valid answers, just how life works I guess.

Sometimes, through these experiences related, I almost feel selfish for being reminded (yet again) to appreciate - and then actually appreciate - just walking, taking a shower, driving, writing, basic daily stuff.

And, I'm like your dad - not in the death-obsessed sense! But in terms of NOT wanting to go out under those circumstances.

Love Amsterdam :bz

MayDay10

its crazy. Anyone who says that they had their dogs put down is met with overwhelming support and 'you did the right thing'

yet, we dont allow the same choice for ourselves?

My brother in law is currently in hospice taking the final lap. He has known he has 0% shot for about 6 weeks and he has just had to wait and figure out if chemo and the sickness and crappy feelings that came with it was worth the 'comfort' and few weeks of time... or just go with it (he opted out of chemo). So it has just been a cycle of different pain management meds. Miserable time, eating dog food out of a tube, trips to the hospital for shit like cutting himself with tubing when he is mopping up drool from his neck constantly... cant talk, etc. They just had to give him something along the lines of PCP to 'reset' his pain receptors because his tolerance is too high. This made for a great 3 days of delirium, confusion, irritability, sedatives... his dad had to hold him down at one point as he was trying to 'swing' at him, I'm sure that is a precious memory. Now he just kind of sleeps and is sedated. They stopped feeding and drinking him. Two days ago he was able to be wheeled into a courtyard for a little while but was whooped from that and has been sleeping since.

I dont know if he would have even chosen this? It would have been a much nicer exit for everyone. He loves the 4th of July and had a great day shooting off fireworks... his birthday was at the end of June. Would have been great to go then, at home, with family, before the truly bad and completely helpless times. Not to mention the cost of all this medical care, likely a lot will be taxpayer money.

hedonist

Absolutely right on in the first part of your post, MayDay. Sorry about your brother-in-law - here's hoping for as little pain and as much dignity as possible.

PJ_Soul

Drowned Out said:

Godfather. said:

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

Brutal, man :(. A good friend of mine from high school, who lived in my basement suite up until 3 years ago, was stricken with the same disorder 2 years ago. He woke up one morning and could barely move his legs...within a week or so, he was in a chair, speech impeded, all of his motor skills completely fucked...and he hasn't been the same since :(. It affects his emotions, too...so he cries a lot. So hard to see him like that, and so messed to think how something like that could show up literally over night. Sorry to hear about your sis-in-law.

My old man, now in his mid 60's, has been obsessed with his death forever. I bet the guy has rewritten his will 25 times, but refuses to change his life expectancy in his retirement budget ). He told me a couple weeks ago that if it's ever decided that it's time for him to move to a care facility, that that's the time to go to Amsterdam and end it. He insists he would prefer death to depending on others and living out his days surrounded by the sick and miserable, and I believe him. I told him I didn't need to be asked twice to go to Amsterdam . Hopefully by the time it's his time, right-to-die laws in Canada will have become more humane.

My mom is kind of obsessed with the issue of her dying too. Not in a morbid way. It more seems like her greatest concern is making her death as painless as possible for everyone who survives her. She's also very concerned about the items that she wants to stay in the family, with how the family grave plot (which she owns, and which will go to me when she dies) is managed and who goes in it after she's dead, and other stuff like that. She just wants everything to go really smoothly after she dies, lol. Which is insanely considerate of her!

As for actually dying... she's also thinking about how she goes out of this world a lot more, which says a lot because my family has already been really open to talking about it (she turns 70 this year but is actually more fit than most people less than half her age, myself included). She is apparently taking the hardcore approach in terms of euthanasia. Supposedly, if she can't use her body the way she wants to use her body, she's done. Period. Forget about excruciating pain that she can't live with anymore - that's a given as far as she's concerned. She says that if she even loses the ability to walk she's outta here, lol. But in the same breathe, she admits that maybe she'll change her mind and cling onto life for as long as she possibly can once she's actually in the situation. She is very honest in saying that she has to experience it first to know. And I think that would be true for anyone. What's important is that those who do get there and do realize that they'd rather check out than suffer have the right to make that choice.

Godfather.

MayDay10 said:

its crazy. Anyone who says that they had their dogs put down is met with overwhelming support and 'you did the right thing'

yet, we dont allow the same choice for ourselves?

My brother in law is currently in hospice taking the final lap. He has known he has 0% shot for about 6 weeks and he has just had to wait and figure out if chemo and the sickness and crappy feelings that came with it was worth the 'comfort' and few weeks of time... or just go with it (he opted out of chemo). So it has just been a cycle of different pain management meds. Miserable time, eating dog food out of a tube, trips to the hospital for shit like cutting himself with tubing when he is mopping up drool from his neck constantly... cant talk, etc. They just had to give him something along the lines of PCP to 'reset' his pain receptors because his tolerance is too high. This made for a great 3 days of delirium, confusion, irritability, sedatives... his dad had to hold him down at one point as he was trying to 'swing' at him, I'm sure that is a precious memory. Now he just kind of sleeps and is sedated. They stopped feeding and drinking him. Two days ago he was able to be wheeled into a courtyard for a little while but was whooped from that and has been sleeping since.

I dont know if he would have even chosen this? It would have been a much nicer exit for everyone. He loves the 4th of July and had a great day shooting off fireworks... his birthday was at the end of June. Would have been great to go then, at home, with family, before the truly bad and completely helpless times. Not to mention the cost of all this medical care, likely a lot will be taxpayer money.

wow, that just breaks my heart man, I'm sorry to hear that. my thoughts and prayers for your family.

Godfather.

MayDay10

thanks.

I'm not so bad, really. Its sad, the guy is only 37. I'm really upset for my sister (she is going to be lost). Seeing his parents is heartbreaking.

If anything, personally, it has had a positive affect on me. I had quit smoking and because of this, its a 'no way in hell' thing... It has made me way thankful for what I have.

WhatYouTaughtMe

Man, reading through this thread shows me no matter the differences we might have, we all face hardship. I usually don't type really long posts due to always being on my phone, so instead of addressing each post specifically I will just say, I'm sending heartfelt hugs to all you fuckers. I hope if ever faced with such dire circumstances, someone has the ability and right to let me die with dignity.

jeffbr

Well said, WhatYouTaughtMe. Kudos to those fighting the fight. Much respect to those who have to make difficult choices. I am happy to live in a state that allows one to choose to fight, or choose to shed this mortal coil with dignity and peace. Positive thoughts to those in this thread who have loved ones going through terminal illness.

rr165892

Mayday,Wishing you,your family and your wife all the best,and a safe journey onto the next place for your brother in law.Hope you guys will find some peace in knowing when he has stopped suffering.We will keep your family in our good thoughts.

Jeff,No state tax,right to die laws ,legal Mary Jane and The best music ever made.
Washington has its shit together,Florida could learn a thing or two from you folks.

rr165892

PJ_Soul said:

Drowned Out said:

Godfather. said:

Last-12-Exit said:

What a horrible decision. What a horrible hand this woman was dealt. I agree 100% with her right to die peacefully and pain free.

the story was so sad but made me think, my sister-n-law has a rare disese called cerabellium degeneration she got at about 20 years old and the few cases that are known the people usally die by 40 years old ,she is now 43 but her quality of life is bad..her speach is affected she can't walk and and suffers head aches that no drugs will help, even when she wishes she could just die the thought of seeing her kids and grand kids pushes her to survive another day so I kind of doubt she choose this option.

Godfather.

Brutal, man :(. A good friend of mine from high school, who lived in my basement suite up until 3 years ago, was stricken with the same disorder 2 years ago. He woke up one morning and could barely move his legs...within a week or so, he was in a chair, speech impeded, all of his motor skills completely fucked...and he hasn't been the same since :(. It affects his emotions, too...so he cries a lot. So hard to see him like that, and so messed to think how something like that could show up literally over night. Sorry to hear about your sis-in-law.

My old man, now in his mid 60's, has been obsessed with his death forever. I bet the guy has rewritten his will 25 times, but refuses to change his life expectancy in his retirement budget ). He told me a couple weeks ago that if it's ever decided that it's time for him to move to a care facility, that that's the time to go to Amsterdam and end it. He insists he would prefer death to depending on others and living out his days surrounded by the sick and miserable, and I believe him. I told him I didn't need to be asked twice to go to Amsterdam . Hopefully by the time it's his time, right-to-die laws in Canada will have become more humane.

My mom is kind of obsessed with the issue of her dying too. Not in a morbid way. It more seems like her greatest concern is making her death as painless as possible for everyone who survives her. She's also very concerned about the items that she wants to stay in the family, with how the family grave plot (which she owns, and which will go to me when she dies) is managed and who goes in it after she's dead, and other stuff like that. She just wants everything to go really smoothly after she dies, lol. Which is insanely considerate of her!

As for actually dying... she's also thinking about how she goes out of this world a lot more, which says a lot because my family has already been really open to talking about it (she turns 70 this year but is actually more fit than most people less than half her age, myself included). She is apparently taking the hardcore approach in terms of euthanasia. Supposedly, if she can't use her body the way she wants to use her body, she's done. Period. Forget about excruciating pain that she can't live with anymore - that's a given as far as she's concerned. She says that if she even loses the ability to walk she's outta here, lol. But in the same breathe, she admits that maybe she'll change her mind and cling onto life for as long as she possibly can once she's actually in the situation. She is very honest in saying that she has to experience it first to know. And I think that would be true for anyone. What's important is that those who do get there and do realize that they'd rather check out than suffer have the right to make that choice.

Sounds like she will still be rocking way into her 100's.