Investigative rounds going in circles

Investigative rounds going in circles
Expressions exploding in mind’s eye
Trying not to mind, trying makes it even
More trying
Focus on being
Grateful brings me back to some
Almost three weeks of moment to moment non-focus, stream of consciousness
So bubbled I feel like a bobble-head
Being in observance without contemplation, disturbed
Wallowing, taken to ever lower depths through observation, inaction
Values are seemingly un-weighed
Confusion of Zen, acceptance, no efficacy, belief, further down the well without being
Snap, I am being, again, scattered as I am
Being sick and served so early on for so long has me patterned to no pattern, routine of no routine
Why so soul sucking!
Calm at heart, comatose in action ‘til plucked back to responsibilities
The Joy is in service
Oh the mess of a nest unattended
Babylonian brain drain leaving no room for a call to action
But here I am writing as thoughts come in
Expecting some beauty to take hold of this pen and none avails itself
Don’t like to write about the uglies
As if putting them in writing makes them manifest
Some say it releases one to better days and ways of expression
Nothing affecting, all disturbingly un-awakened
Sharing in the sleep, deep oblivion sometimes taken in as rest
Quiet riot of mind, not as easy as it sounds
More aware of the constant chatter than ever and now to break-in with the quiet calm
Ignore the ignoble thoughts as thoughts
Fragments of all the experiences
Many just passing through
Fodder for the water ways, the creeping rivers of time
Generating heat to escape,drawing cold from the well
Fear of expressions so dark that I won’t find my way back, rings untrue
Cathedral bells tolling so loud, follow the sound through the darkness
Back into the light
Coloured flags mark the safe passage
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