TRANSCRIBED VOICEMAILS ARE FUNNY

The Juggler

maybe i am behind the times, but my company just started doing this. (it basically just transcribes your voicemails into text and sends to you in the form of an email). do you guys use this at work or on your phone?

so far everyone i have received has been butchered pretty badly. they either look like everything from an auto correct text message gone wrong to some drunk slurring his words to some foreigner with little to no grasp of the english language (how you now transcribe my voicemail?)

this is the most funny one i have received. can't stop cracking up:


---
Jim, hi pathways oh.

I was calling about the out -- paperwork I need to go over -- and I got a question regarding the rate -- -- from that time I send that paperwork if you guys -- this is an eight town are you watching that's your break both out so I get five price 32 is -- anytime I guess after two is not you know I'm sure we're all like that at that so I don't know if you could give me a call back let me know about that.

---

....whhhhat?

Hairy Dane

Great fun!

We do that too where I work. I got one the other day, roughly translated.

Hey Pineapple (my name is Hans and ananas is Danish for pineapple)
Blue elephants --- camera lens on crane with two cans of goods. No snow yet but heavy cotton on the roof and we need no cars on it. Call us the baker (this one made me laugh out loud)

Basically I was told to bring my camera to a build site and film a crane putting up some walls. But I had to call back and be sure if there would be any blue elephants.

The Juggler

Hairy Dane wrote:

Great fun!

We do that too where I work. I got one the other day, roughly translated.

Hey Pineapple (my name is Hans and ananas is Danish for pineapple)
Blue elephants --- camera lens on crane with two cans of goods. No snow yet but heavy cotton on the roof and we need no cars on it. Call us the baker (this one made me laugh out loud)

Basically I was told to bring my camera to a build site and film a crane putting up some walls. But I had to call back and be sure if there would be any blue elephants.

haha...i'm looking forward to someone cursing me out in one of them.

ldent42

I have this on my phone, Google voice. My transcribed voice mails are comedy gold, but sometimes it's not so funny. I couldn't return a call I was waiting on because they called from a blocked number and the guy that left the message had a thick accent so it transcribed the phone number wrong. :fp:
Here's some fun:

Hi, Good afternoon. I'm coming to see how it sounds like this message is for Jennifer. Clark me. I'm calling back to you and academic informed of appointment, please give us a call back to make that appointment. Our number is 718xxxxxxx. Thank you.

This one is my favorite:

Yeah generally do all one will talk to you later on though. Yeah you heard anything from ohh. It's. Whatever time it is right now And I'm following him because I'm checking in. Scott, yeah thanks so. I feel like it's kind of interest. I'm just letting you know. And, with some dudes. I'm with Joe and my truck on that front. You do whatever. If you can somewhere sturdier and in dinner somewhere bye. We we gonna some up. Bye.

For the record, on that last one, the sentence "I'm just letting you know." is actually correct. The rest is not even close.