Any tips on fighting Depression??

whispering hands

That's it, just what the title implies.. I've dealt with this all my
Life.. But this one is horrendous; brought on by the news that my Dad'd organs are atrophying one by one.. And they gave him a year or less.. I've not been able to recover..
Any ideas that might help?? I have been crying at work, at home.. Driving.. It's starting to make me sick now.. Anything you guys do that might help??

lando

Talk to your doctor and see what he says. You can also try things like self care, reducing alcohol, caffeine or drugs and try to maintain a bit of exercise with a healthy diet. I have some of the same problems dealing with depression and the key was trying to be proactive, even when it's damn near impossible. At the very least admitting your problems and talking about it with someone, that be a friend, councillor or whatever can help you adjust. There is no quick fix other than time but if you can turn a few days out of the week into something positive then you're heading in the right direction. One thing, always try to get the proper sleep, I struggle with this on a daily basis, however, the proper balance can do wonders. Best of luck and I'm sorry to hear about your dads health

trees

Meditation.walking in the woods ,listening to some of your favorite music .but yes eat well and healthy exercise.and relax watch a movie,,and i will meditate and pray for you

Ernie Vedder

Sorry to hear that. My dad is going through the same thing right now. He's in the ICU right now. I feel your pain. Just keep your faith in God and listen to good happy music. Surround yourself around good positive people and everything will be alright. Keep your head up! we are here for you!

Enkidu

Therapy. Talking to someone. It's always worked best for me. Medication works well for lots of people. Music is great, too. You're not alone and lots of us have been there and it's something that gets better. Hang in there.

The Waiting Trophy Man

Ernie Vedder wrote:

Just keep your faith in God

How exactly is that going to help her? Might as well tell her to wish her depression away because that's going to have as much effect: zero.

Lots of great suggestions on here. I would add taking time off work so you can deal with this, if you can. Go see your dad. Talk to him everyday. Share your feelings. And think about how he's feeling. He must be scared. Try to be strong for him.

guacamolejoe

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

Ernie Vedder wrote:

Just keep your faith in God

How exactly is that going to help her? Might as well tell her to wish her depression away because that's going to have as much effect: zero.

Works for cancer patients :angel: . Much higher success rate :ugeek: ....just saying.

I've been fighting depression since mid 2001. Can't handle being alone at all. Almost have to force myself off the couch at times when my wife's away a few days for work. All I can say for now, is to try and find others to talk to. Whether it being family, friends, acquaintances or professionals. They can't always " fix" what's wrong, but sometimes you just have to let things out, & not just once. Try doing things that make you happy, if possible too. Life isn't easy & sometimes it's very difficult, for everyone. How we handle these situations, in life, shouldn't have to be done alone. We're here for you.

ldent42

+1 for meditation. And it doesn't have to be the kind where you sit with your legs crossed and your eyes closed either.

Throw your headphones on, turn your phone off, and go for a long walk without a destination. Find a park with hills if possible. get into a space where you can let your body take over, as when walking. it will help clear your mind. Getting up on a physically higher plane, such as a mountain or hill, and taking a rest at the top can help with perspective. Fresh air, peace and quiet, and deep contemplation can help. It's all about perspective. You gotta get away from the modern life distractions and rediscover yourself, or find your center, as they say.

Good luck.

Eraserhead

I get hit by waves of depression from time to time. Other than seeking medical advice, try simple things such as walking, enjoying a bright blue sky, a fave film, song, book, etc.

And I know it sounds odd from a complete stranger, but I hope your dad is OK and you are too.

eeriepadave

listen to pearl jam

seriously though, talk with someone, friends and or family members.

gimmesometruth27

write.

it doesn't have to be poetry or anything. just write and bare your soul.

i have been writing for a month or so and it has helped me process things that i have never dealt with going all the way back to when i was 12 years old.

also, talk to someone. bottling those things up is probably the worst thing you can do.

best of luck, and you can get through this.

Ms. Haiku

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he gets better.

2010 sucked. It was bad on so many levels. I felt the worst about life since 1981. Luckily, during that time I came across a couple quotes

Success is increased competencies in key results areas.
You have a right to take up space (My sister said that to me)

I looked at what I was good at, and walking around and going to cafes and writing about the experiences was something I enjoyed, and loved to do, and as a skill I was good at it. Also, it got me out of the apartment which was always going to be the first step away from my sadness. Paying the money for coffee was definitely worth the decrease in sadness.

coffeecupcrossroads.tumblr.com was born as a result of this. Winter Solstice 2010 I wrote about a coffee adventure, and October 5, 2011 I wrote about my 300th coffee adventure for that project. It took about 270 coffee adventures before I said "Wow, this is awesome beyond awesome!" However, I knew it changed me after the first coffee adventure. I could just feel me living again.

So, honestly look at what you like to do that you are good at, and do more of it during the time you are hanging out with your dad.

Be nice to yourself.

shetellsherself

I think it's completely natural to feel how you are feeling right now when faced with your dad's health challenges. I know you are close to him from previous posts. In a slightly twisted way you could look at this knowledge as a blessing in disguise. You now have the chance to seize the opportunity to make sure he knows how much you love him. We all often talk about making sure that our loved ones know how we feel but how many of us continue to Iet the chaos of every day life get in the way of that? Some people go to sleep at night and don't wake up the next day with no advanced warning. I know you won't miss the chance to really appreciate him.

Now if we are talking about cyclically lower than normal lows that interfer with work, relationships, daily functioning I agree with many of the above suggestions. Faith in God if that gives you strength should never be scoffed at (we all be thinking with our different brains) , definitely regular vigorous exercise will keep the brain swimming in natural feel good chemicals, proper diet, being kind to yourself and serving others. I've also found regular use of St John's Wort to be as effective as prescription antidepressants.

Wish I could give you a real hug, my friend!
Peace to you and your dad
Jen

DeLukin

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

How exactly is that going to help her? Might as well tell her to wish her depression away because that's going to have as much effect: zero.

Keeping it classy. Nice. It might help because maybe this isn't about you...

Black Diamond

I have this... Meds never really helped.

Finding someone to talk to was a huge help... She was also into meditation therapy and that was very helpful and relaxing...

BUT for me, the best best best thing has been exercise... there is always another goal to obtain and it does not have to be big... I'm still nowhere near the shape I would like to be in but maybe the energy, maybe the accomplishments, big or small, but I have never been happier...
and my life is pretty awesome ... but that has not stopped me from being sad or out miserable in the past...

comebackgirl

I agree with what shetellsherself said about this being natural. This is grief, which is completely natural and appropriate. It sounds like you're close with your dad and just got some very horrible news about his health. Give yourself the space to feel everything that comes along with that. Sometimes we are quick to push feelings away, which can make them more toxic. Sometimes just by relaxing into them and giving yourself the space to feel and move through them you will begin to heal. If you put your hand on a hot stove it will hurt. If you are losing someone you love, it will also hurt. That disconnection is probably one of the most intolerable kinds of pain we experience in this life. The feelings just give you information about what's going on. Focus on self-care, getting enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, connection with others and especially your dad. Process your thoughts and feelings in whatever way works - journaling, listening to music, art projects, talking to a friend/family member or seeing a therapist. Calm your nervous system with meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation and visualization. Look into mind/body therapies. Be kind to yourself. If you are finding that you're having difficulty functioning seek out therapy and the advice of your doctor. Sending support your way.

The Waiting Trophy Man

guacamolejoe wrote:

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

How exactly is that going to help her? Might as well tell her to wish her depression away because that's going to have as much effect: zero.

Works for cancer patients :angel: . Much higher success rate :ugeek: ....just saying.[/quote]

Never heard that, but if it's true that's very interesting. It must have to do with thinking and staying positive. Mind over matter is a powerful tool. If it works then it can only be a good thing.

polaris_x

sounds like a lot of good advice ...

i would just reiterate that it's ok to feel down and depressed ... accepting it as a natural state based on your life will at least guide you in how to move past it at some point ...

whispering hands

Thank you guys. I appreciate this more than any of you could ever know. I a weird way I am very close to my dad even though we are two completely different people. But I'll take often judgmental over disturniny abusive ( my mother who died in 07'), any day! I know all of these techniques, as, like I said, I have been dealing with the depression since I was four( swear to God!). Anyhow.. When I found out about what was going on with my Dad, it was through a nurse that goes to our church, and works with my Stepmother ( whom I consider more of a mother than my real mother), at the other hospital... I think I just lost it.. I wasn't expecting it to come from a secondary source. But I talked to my Dad this morning, we had coffee, well I did.. And he reminded me, we've had 8 yrs to prepare for this. But he thinks it's more like two years he said! Lol that's my Dad, always out to prove everyone wrong! Lol anyhow I feel much better today after getting to talk to him, and reading all the support here.. And for those whom were kind enough to answer in PM, their personal relativities, I thank you as well. I will respond to those as soon as a minute works itself free in my day. Thank you all again so much.. This isn't going to be easy.. I'm debating if I should still go to my shows this upcoming month.. But honestly I think I need that.. Don't know guess we'll see where I'm at in two weeks' time.

hedonist

So much hurt in this thread. Good thoughts from here to each of you, starting with whispering hands.

I'm glad today feels a bit lighter for you.

To add to the many wonderful suggestions, I'd say some kind of volunteer work could be beneficial...cleansing, removing yourself even for a little while from your current situation.

Animal shelters can be cathartic

Wishing you a mind at peace within yourself, no matter the path to reach it.

samjam

The biggest things that helped me overcome depression were: music, letting it run its course, and talking to a professional about it. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, it's such a gut-wrenchingly awful feeling. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! I hope you see brighter days soon and know there is an amazing community here to help you along the way!

Hugh Freaking Dillon

whispering hands wrote:

I'm debating if I should still go to my shows this upcoming month.. But honestly I think I need that.. Don't know guess we'll see where I'm at in two weeks' time.

I have a few words of advice, being a depression sufferer for many years now.

-don't stop life. I am personally still working on this, and fail at it all the time. it's a daily struggle. I have skipped a few shows (Alice in Chains was the most recent example) because I felt too depressed to function that day. It was so exhausting acting normal for work and my kids,I just couldn't go. But I regretted it later, as I always do. I almost skipped Cornell the other night, but I'm glad I didn't.

-don't let anyone ever tell you that it will get better, the "keep your chin up" shit. because when it doesn't, you feel even worse about it. if it's clinical, don't let anyone (yourself included) brush it off as the blues. people mean well when they say that, but they are responding in that way because either they don't know how to respond to it or they just don't understand, so if you hear that, they probably aren't the right person to be talking to.

-I'm on meds, and I personally hope I never have to go off them.

-if talking to a professional is a viable option for you, then do it. I think everyone, well or not, should get a mental check up. It's as important as your physical well being. Because it actually will start to affect your physical well being if it gets bad enough.

-I finally went and spoke to someone when I couldn't stop crying, for no particular reason. I was burnt out from working two jobs, about 80 hours or so a week for about 4 years, and then Vince "Greyhound Bus Beheader" Li happened. That was the tipping point. Reading about that happening just outside my city put me over the edge. It wasn't a very hard push, I guess.

-just don't stop talking about it. cliche or not, it actually works. even if just makes you feel better for the moment, it's worth it.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

Never heard that, but if it's true that's very interesting. It must have to do with thinking and staying positive. Mind over matter is a powerful tool. If it works then it can only be a good thing.

yeah, a former professor I had who was into Tai Chi and all of that stuff claimed he knew someone in Japan who cured themselves of cancer simply by sitting and visualizing their body attacking the cancer for hours a day.

truth? who knows. but you're right, positive thinking is incredibly powerful.

mca47

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

guacamolejoe wrote:

The Waiting Trophy Man wrote:

How exactly is that going to help her? Might as well tell her to wish her depression away because that's going to have as much effect: zero.

Works for cancer patients :angel: . Much higher success rate :ugeek: ....just saying.

Never heard that, but if it's true that's very interesting. It must have to do with thinking and staying positive. Mind over matter is a powerful tool. If it works then it can only be a good thing. [/quote]
I work in cancer research and it's somewhat true that "staying positive" helps. God certainly isn't going to remove the malignant cells, but the belief is what helps.
What I've seen over the years is that the patients who are positive are the ones who are more likely to keep up with treatments, eat right, excercise, fight through their symptoms, etc. The positivity is what changes those other factors...the factors that actually keep you alive longer.
Folks who get depressed often go down the downward spiral much faster and tend to not live as long.

justam

whispering hands wrote:

That's it, just what the title implies.. I've dealt with this all my
Life.. But this one is horrendous; brought on by the news that my Dad'd organs are atrophying one by one.. And they gave him a year or less.. I've not been able to recover..
Any ideas that might help?? I have been crying at work, at home.. Driving.. It's starting to make me sick now.. Anything you guys do that might help??

My best advice is to communicate.
Talk to your best friends.
Write your thoughts and feelings down.
Listen to music.
Play music yourself if you can.
Go outside and walk!
Reading good material helps too.

Just communicate!

even flow - question mark

Friends, friends, music, friends, friends, friends, writing poetry, friends, friends, and maybe family if you feel like going the route.

gimmesometruth27

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

whispering hands wrote:

I'm debating if I should still go to my shows this upcoming month.. But honestly I think I need that.. Don't know guess we'll see where I'm at in two weeks' time.

I have a few words of advice, being a depression sufferer for many years now.

-don't stop life. I am personally still working on this, and fail at it all the time. it's a daily struggle. I have skipped a few shows (Alice in Chains was the most recent example) because I felt too depressed to function that day. It was so exhausting acting normal for work and my kids,I just couldn't go. But I regretted it later, as I always do. I almost skipped Cornell the other night, but I'm glad I didn't.

-don't let anyone ever tell you that it will get better, the "keep your chin up" shit. because when it doesn't, you feel even worse about it. if it's clinical, don't let anyone (yourself included) brush it off as the blues. people mean well when they say that, but they are responding in that way because either they don't know how to respond to it or they just don't understand, so if you hear that, they probably aren't the right person to be talking to.

-I'm on meds, and I personally hope I never have to go off them.

-if talking to a professional is a viable option for you, then do it. I think everyone, well or not, should get a mental check up. It's as important as your physical well being. Because it actually will start to affect your physical well being if it gets bad enough.

-I finally went and spoke to someone when I couldn't stop crying, for no particular reason. I was burnt out from working two jobs, about 80 hours or so a week for about 4 years, and then Vince "Greyhound Bus Beheader" Li happened. That was the tipping point. Reading about that happening just outside my city put me over the edge. It wasn't a very hard push, I guess.

-just don't stop talking about it. cliche or not, it actually works. even if just makes you feel better for the moment, it's worth it.

all good advice here.

the hard one is to not stop life. i struggle with that one a lot. sometimes it just feels better to insulate yourself in your own little corner of the house and stay there for awhile until ya feel strong enough or together enough to venture out again. going to the gym helps me quite a bit.

and you are 100% correct. the keep your chin up stuff does not work. worst advice ever...

chadwick

hit hard & often
bend the knees

Attaway77

I've already buried my father and sister and I'm only 36. Nothing prepares you for this sort of stuff, even when you know it's coming. I personally believe in God and I do my praying when happy or sad, I exercise when happy or sad, I throw back a few when I'm happy or sad… I always remind myself whether I'm happy or sad you only get one life, and with that comes a lot of good times and bad times, how you deal with it is up to you. It's always great to seek answers and talk with somebody, but in the end, it's up to you on how to handle/deal with it all… Life is the hardest job you will ever have, everything else is part time…….

decides2dream

don't fight it.
wallow in it.
drink too much, eat too much, f*ck too much - whatever.
then, breathe. work on yourself ... love yourself ... take care of yourself. if you need meds, take them. do whatever you need to get by. ask for the love and assistance you need. i hope you get all that you need.

brianlux

This is interesting- I did a search for the word "Depression" and scanned through 36 pages of thread topics and this is the only one on depression I could find. Good to know this is a happy group!

Of course, I'm kidding. If we went through the "How are you feeling" thread it would be rife with comment about depression.

Well any way, seeing as my wife is away for a few days I thought it would be good to continue watching the box set she gave me last year of all of "George Carlin's Stuff" and I watched the 1996 show, "Back in Town" which was very funny but also very depressing. Sort of like laughing through the beginning of the collapse of society. Funny, true, depressing. What a weird combination of feelings. Maybe I should go do something fun like stick a hot poker up my ass (also one of George's idea).

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