Blind

Aafke

Blind

Running for my first photo gig
Out of breath, black spots in my sight
Became black clouds, bleedings in my eyes
Clouding my view

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

The doctors confirmed my fear
Shooting lasers in my eyes to slow the process down
Treatment after treatment, operation after operation
But the damage done was irreversible

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

Wasn’t able to work no more
Being focused on my sight
Couldn’t handle being confronted with my loss, time after time
But by making art… I feel

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw … I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

Fear, panic, despair, hopeless and furious
It all grew in me while treatments failed
Couldn’t handle it, overwhelming as it where
Terrified off losing myself….Suicide? Yes

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

In despair making up my mind
Stop feeling or go down
Trying to survive, grabbing onto live
Pulling my feeling deep inside vaulted behind bars

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

Survive, survive, survive…
All of this to survive…
Not to become totally insane and show the emotional storm inside
Throwing away the key of that prison

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it

Still alive, still able to see a fraction of what I used to see
Feelings firmly locked behind bars
Amazing fear is what has remained
But feeling is healing…my art using as crowbar,
I begin to feel again

I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it