Father forces son to hold pink 'I am a bully' sign on Texas

PapPap Posts: 29,000
edited October 2013 in A Moving Train
I am a bully. Honk! If you hate bullies.

A Texas father is refusing to apologize for forcing his child to hold a pink "I am a bully" sign because he says that "we don't need another Columbine." When Jose Lagares found out that his son got in trouble for bullying in his fourth grade class, he sent the boy out to the intersection of Ft. Hood Street and W. Veterans Memorial Boulevard in Ft. Hood on Tuesday.

KCEN captured video of the fourth grader holding a pink sign that read: "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies." "Bullying is also a form of public humiliation," Lagares told the station. "Maybe he understands that when he humiliates someone publicly that doesn't feel good."

"Hopefully he'll take that with him so the next time he tries to bully someone he'll think about it twice."

In an interview with KCEN on Thursday, Lagares said that he had received negative criticism, but he did not regret punishing his son.

"I refuse to allow my child to be somebody else's pain," he explained. "Ya know, we don't need another Columbine, and we don't need another Solomon Harris. Ya know, we don't need that to happen, and I refuse for my child to be the cause of that."


Clever! Kudos to the father! :thumbup:
Athens 2006 / Milton Keynes 2014 / London 1&2 2022 / Seattle 1&2 2024 / Dublin 2024 / Manchester 2024
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • I would have tried to handle it differently, but I'm not going to knock this guy for making an effort. Too many parents make little or no effort to correct their children's poor behaviours- many even denying or deflecting their kids' conduct.

    I'm surprised you haven't received any lashback from the resident Dr. Phils for your support of this parenting maneuver.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • JimmyVJimmyV Posts: 19,172
    When I was 5 I stole a pack of gum while at the grocery store with my mother. She found it - of course - and marched me back inside to both return the gum and to make me personally apologize to the store manager. Embarrassed the shit out of me.

    Guess what? I never stole another thing. Hope this kid learns his lesson too.
    ___________________________________________

    "...I changed by not changing at all..."
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    O'Doyle Rules!
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko Posts: 2,430
    Parents are the keystone.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • lukin2006lukin2006 Posts: 9,087
    Good for the father
    I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin

    "Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    It's sad to even have to say this, but I give credit to any and all parents who give a more than a Facebook shit about their children and do what they can to keep them on the right path.

    This should be a given, for christ's sake (kind of like Chris Rock's rant about non-deadbeat dads).

    Too many bucks keep being passed along - "no, not MY fault; it's because of this, and that, and him and her and them."

    Hope this kid has learned...not to necessarily prevent another tragedy, but maybe to bring on board another kind, thoughtful and responsible person.

    Fuck knows we need more.
  • lukin2006lukin2006 Posts: 9,087
    I believe this punishment is called shaming and has been imposed by judges in which an offender might have to stand in front a store they shoplifted from with a sign saying "I shoplifted at this store". I'm all for this type of punishment ... maybe a little embarrassment will make some of these people think in the future.
    I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin

    "Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
  • Godfather.Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    xlnt ! good for the father !

    Godfather.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Pap wrote:
    I am a bully. Honk! If you hate bullies.

    A Texas father is refusing to apologize for forcing his child to hold a pink "I am a bully" sign because he says that "we don't need another Columbine." When Jose Lagares found out that his son got in trouble for bullying in his fourth grade class, he sent the boy out to the intersection of Ft. Hood Street and W. Veterans Memorial Boulevard in Ft. Hood on Tuesday.

    KCEN captured video of the fourth grader holding a pink sign that read: "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies." "Bullying is also a form of public humiliation," Lagares told the station. "Maybe he understands that when he humiliates someone publicly that doesn't feel good."

    "Hopefully he'll take that with him so the next time he tries to bully someone he'll think about it twice."

    In an interview with KCEN on Thursday, Lagares said that he had received negative criticism, but he did not regret punishing his son.

    "I refuse to allow my child to be somebody else's pain," he explained. "Ya know, we don't need another Columbine, and we don't need another Solomon Harris. Ya know, we don't need that to happen, and I refuse for my child to be the cause of that."


    Clever! Kudos to the father! :thumbup:

    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.
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  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    justam wrote:
    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.
    I don't know about this...I'm not a parent, but I don't equate this punishment / lesson with bullying at all.

    To me, it's not anywhere close to mistreatment.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    hedonist wrote:
    justam wrote:
    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.
    I don't know about this...I'm not a parent, but I don't equate this punishment / lesson with bullying at all.

    To me, it's not anywhere close to mistreatment.

    Don't you feel it's meant to be humiliating for the child? It seems that way to me.

    Two wrongs don't make a right comes to mind here.

    Why not do the opposite? Have the child do something kind for the child he bullied. That's really the opposite to bullying. Being kind. Not being humiliated!
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  • The Dr. Phils are beginning to come out. :lol:

    I bet the parents of the kid who the bully bullied don't have too much of a problem with the 'discipline'. Blaming the father without knowing anything other than what we see in the media is a stretch.

    It's not how I would have done it... but it was something.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • JimmyVJimmyV Posts: 19,172
    justam wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    justam wrote:
    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.
    I don't know about this...I'm not a parent, but I don't equate this punishment / lesson with bullying at all.

    To me, it's not anywhere close to mistreatment.

    Don't you feel it's meant to be humiliating for the child? It seems that way to me.

    Two wrongs don't make a right comes to mind here.

    Why not do the opposite? Have the child do something kind for the child he bullied. That's really the opposite to bullying. Being kind. Not being humiliated!

    What do you think the bully then does to the child he bullied as soon as the parents backs are turned? Just "being kind" is no kind of answer. This particular bully has been shown that there are indeed consequences to actions. That is a life lesson.
    ___________________________________________

    "...I changed by not changing at all..."
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    justam wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    justam wrote:
    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.
    I don't know about this...I'm not a parent, but I don't equate this punishment / lesson with bullying at all.

    To me, it's not anywhere close to mistreatment.

    Don't you feel it's meant to be humiliating for the child? It seems that way to me.

    Two wrongs don't make a right comes to mind here.

    Why not do the opposite? Have the child do something kind for the child he bullied. That's really the opposite to bullying. Being kind. Not being humiliated!

    Hey, I've got nothing against kindness. I just think that some punishments are fitting and valuable, as I see many parents coddling and excusing their children's behavior. That said, I'm also for finding out why the kid was acting that way in the first place.

    As an aside, punishment can be humiliating depending on anyone's take; time-outs for little ones...for older ones, being grounded, no allowance, extra chores, relegated to their "room" with no computer, phone, tv, etc. Who's to say even a stern talk isn't embarrassing for a child? Doesn't mean these repercussions shouldn't happen.
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    Glad to see a parent stepping up and doing some parenting.

    That being said, the whole bullying issue has gotten a bit out of hand in my opinion. It's a problem, but I don't think it's as much of a problem as people are making it out to be.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • ShawshankShawshank Posts: 1,018
    I used to live in Killeen, and know that area well...he probably picked one of the busiest intersections with all the traffic going back and forth to Ft. Hood. :lol:

    I worry more about my kids and the Internet bullying that goes on. That's what can be even more brutal. I have to say that late last year I learned my daughter, who seriously would not hurt a living thing, was the victim of bullying. When I say my daughter is a good kid, it's not just me being proud, I mean she is seriously the most kind-hearted and loving human being I have ever had the privilege to know. She'll be the first to admit she's a little nerdy, but she really does not care what other people think. She likes some really out there music, she dresses a little weird, and she is just her own person. Anyway, this girl in her class (10th grade) had been giving my daughter crap about something. I guess this had been ongoing for a few weeks, but my wife and I never knew. Well on the way to some school contest this girl was behind my daughter on the bus and said something ugly to her. My daughter turned around and just asked her to please leave her alone. The girl then says, "f*ck you, you little c*nt!" At which point my daughter sat up, turned around, leaned over the back seat and gave the girl five across the eyes as hard as she could. Busted the girls glasses right off her face and left a red hand print.

    Knowing my daughter, to say I was stunned at this would be the understatement of the millennium. I guess the bus stopped, and they both got in trouble, but due to the fact that at least 5 kids sitting in the immediate vicinity backed up my daughter's version of the story, nothing was done to her. Honestly, I'm not a fan of violence at all, but that was one of the proudest moments of my life. Just knowing that she stood up for herself in the face of someone who was being just completely nasty to her. Needless to say, that girl never bothered again. In fact, she even invited my daughter to a couple of parties she's had recently, and they are civil to one another. I still can't believe she did that when I think about it.
  • Shawshank wrote:
    I used to live in Killeen, and know that area well...he probably picked one of the busiest intersections with all the traffic going back and forth to Ft. Hood. :lol:

    I worry more about my kids and the Internet bullying that goes on. That's what can be even more brutal. I have to say that late last year I learned my daughter, who seriously would not hurt a living thing, was the victim of bullying. When I say my daughter is a good kid, it's not just me being proud, I mean she is seriously the most kind-hearted and loving human being I have ever had the privilege to know. She'll be the first to admit she's a little nerdy, but she really does not care what other people think. She likes some really out there music, she dresses a little weird, and she is just her own person. Anyway, this girl in her class (10th grade) had been giving my daughter crap about something. I guess this had been ongoing for a few weeks, but my wife and I never knew. Well on the way to some school contest this girl was behind my daughter on the bus and said something ugly to her. My daughter turned around and just asked her to please leave her alone. The girl then says, "f*ck you, you little c*nt!" At which point my daughter sat up, turned around, leaned over the back seat and gave the girl five across the eyes as hard as she could. Busted the girls glasses right off her face and left a red hand print.

    Knowing my daughter, to say I was stunned at this would be the understatement of the millennium. I guess the bus stopped, and they both got in trouble, but due to the fact that at least 5 kids sitting in the immediate vicinity backed up my daughter's version of the story, nothing was done to her. Honestly, I'm not a fan of violence at all, but that was one of the proudest moments of my life. Just knowing that she stood up for herself in the face of someone who was being just completely nasty to her. Needless to say, that girl never bothered again. In fact, she even invited my daughter to a couple of parties she's had recently, and they are civil to one another. I still can't believe she did that when I think about it.

    Those 'fire side chats' don't have the effect the Dr. Phils think they do- bullies smile and nod their heads and pretend to agree... but for the most part... they are insincere. The most effective way a kid can prevent themselves from becoming a target is to stand up for themselves. A bully will not antagonize someone who will fight back. Your daughter did the right thing- as courageous as she might have had to be- and the results speak for themselves. Nobody advocates for violence, but some people force other people's hands.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I can't believe you all can't see that this is equivalent to someone smacking their child to punish their child for hitting another kid! :shock:
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  • JimmyVJimmyV Posts: 19,172
    justam wrote:
    I can't believe you all can't see that this is equivalent to someone smacking their child to punish their child for hitting another kid! :shock:

    No, it isn't. The father did not smack the child. He embarrassed him. That is not the same thing.
    ___________________________________________

    "...I changed by not changing at all..."
  • justam wrote:
    I can't believe you all can't see that this is equivalent to someone smacking their child to punish their child for hitting another kid! :shock:

    Do you know if this was a last measure for the father? Do you know if he has already tried various other strategies that have had little to no effect?

    Whether right or wrong... some people feel that smacking the kid would let the bully know what it was like to be bullied. These people likely feel that the 'soft approach' embraced by many failing 21st century parents is toothless.

    A kid is capable of overcoming both a smack and an embarrassment. My pops used to smack me quite a bit- I turned out alright and I love the guy dearly. He was a good dad. I understood why I was getting smacked- I deserved it to be honest.

    But regardless of differing opinions... as oppose to attacking the father's methodology and bemoaning the general consensus here... why don't you tell us what should have been done?
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • Godfather.Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    I told my son at a very early age if a bully picks on you don't say a word then sock them right on the tip of the nose and they will be your best friend the next day.....whioch reminds me of a great story, while i was working in mexico my son was about 4 or 5 years old, while i was on the phone to my wife i could my son crying so i said to my wife put him on the phone then i ask "what's up buddy ?" he said the older boy next door had hit him so I said "he's bigger than you buddy so pick something up and wack him with it....so a few min. later I talking to my wife and I could hear a blood curdeling screem and wife sez "oh no R just hit J on the head with his bat" and I said yes i told him to...(the bat was plastic) but J never messed tith R again :lol:


    Godfather.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    A kid is capable of overcoming both a smack and an embarrassment. My pops used to smack me quite a bit- I turned out alright and I love the guy dearly. He was a good dad. I understood why I was getting smacked- I deserved it to be honest.
    My god, you sound exactly like my husband talking about his mom :P

    He speaks of it often - when he was a little tyke and ran straight into the street while playing, no looking for cars. His mother made sure that mistake happened only once.

    Me, I got a (light) spanking just one time from my father. Talk about humiliation - I never wanted to experience that again.

    Anyway, this isn't a thread about spanking, per se; it's one about a parent caring enough to go to certain lengths to teach their children.
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    When I was a kid, I stole a slot machine piggy bank from a friend of our family and my parents caught me. They made me go apologize and perform chores as punishment. It was humiliating ...

    I've never stolen anything since that lesson.
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,052
    I'd say because dad stood out there with him this was not a bullying dad. As a kid, I hated being bullied. I say, good show dad!
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • The best way to deal with bullies is to let them know you won't be bullied. Obviously that parent is doing the work for his kids victims. Right on!
  • Last-12-ExitLast-12-Exit Posts: 8,661
    justam wrote:
    Pap wrote:
    I am a bully. Honk! If you hate bullies.

    A Texas father is refusing to apologize for forcing his child to hold a pink "I am a bully" sign because he says that "we don't need another Columbine." When Jose Lagares found out that his son got in trouble for bullying in his fourth grade class, he sent the boy out to the intersection of Ft. Hood Street and W. Veterans Memorial Boulevard in Ft. Hood on Tuesday.

    KCEN captured video of the fourth grader holding a pink sign that read: "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies." "Bullying is also a form of public humiliation," Lagares told the station. "Maybe he understands that when he humiliates someone publicly that doesn't feel good."

    "Hopefully he'll take that with him so the next time he tries to bully someone he'll think about it twice."

    In an interview with KCEN on Thursday, Lagares said that he had received negative criticism, but he did not regret punishing his son.

    "I refuse to allow my child to be somebody else's pain," he explained. "Ya know, we don't need another Columbine, and we don't need another Solomon Harris. Ya know, we don't need that to happen, and I refuse for my child to be the cause of that."


    Clever! Kudos to the father! :thumbup:

    In my opinion, the child has learned how to be a bully from his father's behavior.

    What a way to treat a 4th grader! Talk about being bullied by your dad! Geez. :wtf:

    If someone lives in a home where NO ONE is allowed to mistreat family members then being kind is the norm.

    I can definitely see where your coming from, but I'd have to disagree with you in this case. I'm sure niether of us know these people personally, but based on the fact that the father is actually taking some responsibility and punishing the child for poor behavior, I'd say IMO its not an "I learned it from watching you" case.
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