Dog Mess - pick it up! It's your dog

Empty Glass

For the past 2-3 weeks I've come home and found a pile in my yard near the side walk. I get extremely pissed off because having two young boys, we are outside playing some sport in the yard. No one has stepped or fallen in it yet, thankfully.

Today, I put two signs up which politely ask to clean up after your dog. Not what I wanted them to say, but my wife has more tact than I do. I'm sure the person will laugh at the signs and there will be a pile of shit in my yard today. What's the best (legal) course of action here?

JK_Livin

I get pissed when someone puts their dog shit in my empty trash can after the trash is picked up. :nono: I don't put my own dog's shit in my trash cans. If your dog shits while you're walking it, bag it and take it home dirtball.

Snakeduck

I advise a sniper ambush, but don't shoot the dog unless it is there by itself. If it is being walked by someone, shoot them.

* I guess you can use an air rifle or paint ball gun... if that's all you have.

dankind

super soaker squirt gun filled with cat piss.

Empty Glass

dankind wrote:

super soaker squirt gun filled with cat piss.

This is possible. I need a cat, but piss is readily available

LloydXmas

What about human mess?

rick1zoo2

LloydXmas wrote:

What about human mess?

dang its weird when I think the same thing as you

Empty Glass

LloydXmas wrote:

What about human mess?

Yesterday's could have been human. Should be easy to track him down too. Looked like it was from someone who had too many Schlitz the night before

81

set up a camera to find the time of day they are walking by....

after info is secured....

get your self a shovel and wait for them....

let the dog poo

then casually walk out....scoop the poo....

and fling it at them.

Dr. Delight

What kind of poo is it?

Large, oblong timber-shaped poo thats wet?

Does it look like the fake plastic gag poo, ice cream swirled into a neat snake-coiled pile?

Or is it small, hard pebble -shaped droppings?

Empty Glass

different types on different days. Yesterday's was not plastic. Shit had be gagging for five minutes after I shoveled it up and heaved it on the road.

I think I have multiple dogs on my hand or one with a fucked up diet.

RKCNDY

I would set up a camera, and film whoever doesn't scoop.

Figure out who it is, and where they live. (pretty easy to figure out who has a dog if they don't scoop-the dog will be outside)

When their dog does their business, pick up the poo, place it in a pretty bag with a bow.

Drop off the present to the offender's home with a note, "Your dog left a present for me, and I felt bad for not giving you one in return"
(this is best done when the owner is not home)

JonnyPistachio

I hate this so much. I was once using a weedeater and ran it through a hot steamy pile in my yard. It sprayed up my legs form ankle to kneecap. :x :evil:

81

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I hate this so much. I was once using a weedeater and ran it through a hot steamy pile in my yard. It sprayed up my legs form ankle to kneecap. :x :evil:

i was once at a KOA, and this guy picked some up with his hand.

RKCNDY

81 wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I hate this so much. I was once using a weedeater and ran it through a hot steamy pile in my yard. It sprayed up my legs form ankle to kneecap. :x :evil:

i was once at a KOA, and this guy picked some up with his hand.

was that before or after he sprayed himself in the eyes with hand sanitizer?

81

RKCNDY wrote:

81 wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I hate this so much. I was once using a weedeater and ran it through a hot steamy pile in my yard. It sprayed up my legs form ankle to kneecap. :x :evil:

i was once at a KOA, and this guy picked some up with his hand.

was that before or after he sprayed himself in the eyes with hand sanitizer?

:think:

after?

JonnyPistachio

81 wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I hate this so much. I was once using a weedeater and ran it through a hot steamy pile in my yard. It sprayed up my legs form ankle to kneecap. :x :evil:

i was once at a KOA, and this guy picked some up with his hand.

:shock: :wtf: ...I hear drugs and drinking are common in KOAs.

chadwick

us kids (my two brothers & i) grew up in rural ass iowa surrounded by farms. there were horses, hogs, cattle & chickens & dogs & cats & ducks & geese & rabbits & squirrels & raccoons & deer & frogs & snakes & turtles

i don't give a frig about dog shit out in the grass as it is biodegradable

i worked on several farms for different farmers. i put hog & cow shit out in the fields sun up to sun down. wealthy ass farmers say hog shit smells like money. a dog strolling by shitting in the yard aint no thing. playing sports out in the yard & you tackle your brother or maybe y'all playin ninja games or dirt clod war, dog shit pile gets smeared into your long sleeve elbow or jeans or in your shoe tred... this is why they invented garden hose & a fucking washing machine

two of my girl friends were horse riding little shits in rodeos & won horse races around those barrles. they all got horse shit goin on.

there's a doctor here who raises elk & bison & long horn texas steers. in the beginnings of his business his house sat in a elk pasture. elk shit on his sidewalk & driveway. he's only a multimillionaire playing in elk & buffalo & long horn texas steer turds

Empty Glass

chadwick wrote:

us kids (my two brothers & i) grew up in rural ass iowa surrounded by farms. there were horses, hogs, cattle & chickens & dogs & cats & ducks & geese & rabbits & squirrels & raccoons & deer & frogs & snakes & turtles

i don't give a frig about dog shit out in the grass as it is biodegradable

i worked on several farms for different farmers. i put hog & cow shit out in the fields sun up to sun down. wealthy ass farmers say hog shit smells like money. a dog strolling by shitting in the yard aint no thing. playing sports out in the yard & you tackle your brother or maybe y'all playin ninja games or dirt clod war, dog shit pile gets smeared into your long sleeve elbow or jeans or in your shoe tred... this is why they invented garden hose & a fucking washing machine

two of my girl friends were horse riding little shits in rodeos & won horse races around those barrles. they all got horse shit goin on.

there's a doctor here who raises elk & bison & long horn texas steers. in the beginnings of his business his house sat in a elk pasture. elk shit on his sidewalk & driveway. he's only a multimillionaire playing in elk & buffalo & long horn texas steer turds

Falling in your own dog's shit is a completely different ball game than falling in some stranger's dog's shit.

Just like it's "cute" when your baby pisses on you when you change his diaper, but you don't want some strange kid pissing on you.

chadwick

rural iowa has neighbors' dogs running amok as most farmers don't believe in imprisoning dogs or cats or elephants or goats

ever slip on goat turds whilst making your way around the chicken coop? henry is a 3 peckered billy goat & one squirrely ass cross-eyed dude with deformed horns & uncontrollable diarrhea

this guy chases you around trees & tries his time at humping you. it is a marvelous time i assure you

even flow - question mark

Empty Glass wrote:

For the past 2-3 weeks I've come home and found a pile in my yard near the side walk. I get extremely pissed off because having two young boys, we are outside playing some sport in the yard. No one has stepped or fallen in it yet, thankfully.

Today, I put two signs up which politely ask to clean up after your dog. Not what I wanted them to say, but my wife has more tact than I do. I'm sure the person will laugh at the signs and there will be a pile of shit in my yard today. What's the best (legal) course of action here?

Set up a camera to catch who it is and slash two of their tires. One they can change...but two.

JonnyPistachio

chadwick wrote:

rural iowa has neighbors' dogs running amok as most farmers don't believe in imprisoning dogs or cats or elephants or goats

ever slip on goat turds whilst making your way around the chicken coop? henry is a 3 peckered billy goat & one squirrely ass cross-eyed dude with deformed horns & uncontrollable diarrhea

this guy chases you around trees & tries his time at humping you. it is a marvelous time i assure you

Oh man you kill me chadwick. Too funny.