the ADHD/ADD thread (for our suffering friends out there)

chadwick

i searched and didn't come up with much on this subject & there was solely no ADHD/ADD thread until today, here, with this one. a short run down of my struggles with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or attention deficit disorder. when i was younger i would class myself as insanely ADHD & as i got older the hyperactivity became less.

recently (and after being off ritalin since 7th grade(im now 41) my doctor out of the blue tells me he is prescribing me ritalin. i'd been suffering about 6 months coming off pain killers. now i feel better than i have probably most of my adult life. it is incredible how awesome i am functioning.

things are clearer, my memory wants to work, whereas in the past i'd struggle hardcore just to remember something. i am paying my phone bill before the due date. i am reading more & the reading is not painfully eating my head & bones. i am calmer. i am completely different, i am a brand new guy.

25 or 28 years .... or basically all my 41 years has been a major fucking going on inside my brain & body. i joke around referring to myself as the tazmanian devil, yes the bugs bunny & friends cartoon, taz. that is exactly how i felt most all my life. problem is im currently not a beserker. (but i am actually :twisted: )

i am inclined to believe i could finally function nicely in school vs' the old me lost in daydreaming & ( . )( . ) & assfest & the sky & the trees & the ground & the painted walls white & the no windows & the where's the fresh air & & & & & & & & & & fuck! charlie brown's teacher's voice! that's great...fuck

& & &
frig
& & & &
balls

& & & & & & asshole me

& & & & i need a rock
i forgot something, i dropped my shit, i dropped my shit again, my hands are full, i lost my stuff some more, i forgot my car, i forgot myself, i forgot my wallet, where's my pencil, i forgot what time it is so i keep looking & looking & i forget the time again, what day is it, what day is it
&
&
&
what day is it?

my medication is: ritalin/methylphenidate, 20mg, twice daily.
while some folks these days with ADD/ADHD are taking adderall

what was funny was filling out the doctor's questionnaires. insane. i pegged the frickin thing out. i was like, "wow im a frickin dick" here's an example of a simple question, "do you feel like a running motor is inside you?"

ok. enough about me. what do you have going on? how can i help you?

KM43590

Today, I spent hours at the County building of social services, trying to finalize my unemployment/welfare benefits. It was nuts. It took me 4 weeks to get the nerve to actually go down there, and then I had to WAIT (with actual crazies) for almost 3 hours. HAHA. I suffer from server depression, anxiety and paranoia, and have been taking Prozac 40mgs for almost 2 months now. I've been unemployed for 2 years, but my mental situation has gotten worse since then, and I even fear to go 100 feet to the mail box, or mow the lawn. I hate how I am and the way I feel. I have no friends, and I've even been taking care of my elderly mother (with dementia) for the last 10 months, which hasn't helped my situation! In school I was always put in the "slow" classes, not because I was stupid, but because I needed extra attention, but I was lumped in with the "bad" kids and treated as such! I'm 33 now and I feel stuck! I'm in therapy now, and I'll be starting County Advised drug counseling, but I have very little faith in that program! I want nothing more than to be normal, but there are very few people who I've met who know what "normal" actually is. So that stinks! I fear your pain!

rollings

+

chadwick

KM43590 wrote:

Today, I spent hours at the County building of social services, trying to finalize my unemployment/welfare benefits. It was nuts. It took me 4 weeks to get the nerve to actually go down there, and then I had to WAIT (with actual crazies) for almost 3 hours. HAHA. I suffer from server depression, anxiety and paranoia, and have been taking Prozac 40mgs for almost 2 months now. I've been unemployed for 2 years, but my mental situation has gotten worse since then, and I even fear to go 100 feet to the mail box, or mow the lawn. I hate how I am and the way I feel. I have no friends, and I've even been taking care of my elderly mother (with dementia) for the last 10 months, which hasn't helped my situation! In school I was always put in the "slow" classes, not because I was stupid, but because I needed extra attention, but I was lumped in with the "bad" kids and treated as such! I'm 33 now and I feel stuck! I'm in therapy now, and I'll be starting County Advised drug counseling, but I have very little faith in that program! I want nothing more than to be normal, but there are very few people who I've met who know what "normal" actually is. So that stinks! I fear your pain!

where you located?

yeah having been there myself i fully comprehend the slowed down classes. i didn't sit still & was a daydreamer pretty much constantly. i hope the best for you with your future. what kind of work do you do & what kind of work do you dream of doing?

chadwick

i also carry on three seperate topics in a conversations at once because multiple stories run together in a sidetracked fashion. when doing this form of communication 98% of all people cannot keep up & they look at me like i am a fucking alien. i really have to try hard to stay on track vs' wandering through topics.

it is a beautiful thing

mickeyrat

Good on you Chad for starting this thread.

I am not either of these things, but I do have something I want to share, in particular to the second poster.

"normal" may not ever be possible. So what is left for you to do?
My answer is fully accept that fact, that you are that you are.
work with the professionals as much as you are comfortable, find the way you can work with this in your life. Find your joy!!

PJ_Soul

It's a tough disorder for adults. I don't have it, but my ex common law husband did, and was never diagnosed or treated in any way because his mother was an idiot (his dad knew it but couldn't convince that silly woman; she was and still is in total denial). And my ex did know he had it - I mean, it wasn't subtle to say the least - but because of the attitude of his mom all his life, he was cavalier about it and refused to get diagnosed and seek any help, despite the fact that it was clearly making life more difficult for him (and me and pur relationship). And i suppose he might have felt some level of shame about it and covered it up with ADD jokes.... When he couldn't focus on a simple task for more than 2 minutes, he laughed it off. When he could not meet basic responsibilities or live up to simple commitments, he reverted back into a petulant teenager sometimes, trying to grasp onto some excuse so he could refuse to acknowledge just how serious his ADD was and how much it was negatively affecting him as an adult. I think he felt like an inferior man compared to those arpund him, who were able to get things done and carry responsibility in a mature way. This sucked on many levels to say the least. The severity of the problems weren''t apparent to me until too late - it took living with him to realize just how bad it was.

Anyway, of course I did some research and tried to encourage him to seek treatment or help, which he refused to do in the long run.... I would have to say that his refusal to manage his ADD was ultimately the cause of the end of our relationship (well, he was also an asshole ). So i admire those with ADHD/ADD who do work to manage it and live well with it; I understand the challenges. I read that simply fully acknowledging the disorder can go so far in helping manage ADD that it actually can get rid of the need for medication. A conscious and clear understanding of it through the help of counselling can dramatically improve the condition in a lot of people, which is great for those who have had bad experiences with Ritalin, etc. In wish I'd been able to talk my partner into doing that - I think it really would have helped things. Sigh, oh well. At least I didn't end up with that see you next Tuesday of a mother-in-law.

chadwick

mickeyrat wrote:

Good on you Chad for starting this thread.

I am not either of these things, but I do have something I want to share, in particular to the second poster.

"normal" may not ever be possible. So what is left for you to do?
My answer is fully accept that fact, that you are that you are.
work with the professionals as much as you are comfortable, find the way you can work with this in your life. Find your joy!!

just tryin to get through life & maybe help someone out that's all

hedonist

I really hope the help in all forms continues to come.

From here - and for what little it's worth - I may not have said so before, but some of what you and rollings've written have had an effect on me - a good one. Sure all of our perspectives are borne of who we are (nature of the beast), but I sincerely appreciate them.

chadwick

hedonist wrote:

I really hope the help in all forms continues to come.

From here - and for what little it's worth - I may not have said so before, but some of what you and rollings've written have had an effect on me - a good one. Sure all of our perspectives are borne of who we are (nature of the beast), but I sincerely appreciate them.

not all of my writings? why not every single letter, sentence, & paragraph i've ever formed on here? why not?
every poem? no. only some

i am a bit hurt now & quite taken back. i'll now be going outside to scrape my face & blistered foot on the hot as fuck cement off the sliding glass door

Last-12-Exit

You make me laugh, sometimes.

hedonist

chadwick wrote:

hedonist wrote:

I really hope the help in all forms continues to come.

From here - and for what little it's worth - I may not have said so before, but some of what you and rollings've written have had an effect on me - a good one. Sure all of our perspectives are borne of who we are (nature of the beast), but I sincerely appreciate them.

not all of my writings? why not every single letter, sentence, & paragraph i've ever formed on here? why not?
every poem? no. only some

i am a bit hurt now & quite taken back. i'll now be going outside to scrape my face & blistered foot on the hot as fuck cement off the sliding glass door

Oh you.

chadwick

Last-12-Exit wrote:

You make me laugh, sometimes.

stop telling fibs. i make you laugh all the time

wanna here a story? this one time at the grocery store i wanted to get some fruit, this was after i left the pool, yeah my car needed a washing & a vaccuming. so i was walking around checking out the produce. it was humid too.

holy shit i forgot my wallet

( . )( . )

KM43590

yeah having been there myself i fully comprehend the slowed down classes. i didn't sit still & was a daydreamer pretty much constantly. i hope the best for you with your future. what kind of work do you do & what kind of work do you dream of doing?[/quote]

I'm in South Jersey. I keep hoping for the best, but the best never comes! It's hard. My new therapist is really good though, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I just want to be "normal"... whatever that means! HA!

Get_Right

There are too many things going on in this thread for me to concentrate.