Keeping the joy intact

shetellsherself

So I just finished a 9 day vacation from work. My 3 kids were on spring break from school and my mom came from out of state to visit. We had a lot of fun just being together. It amazed me to see my kids (especially my oldest who is 13) relax and become so happy again. I can see how the stress of our "everyday" routine has made us grumpy and....less than peaceful. I don't believe our routine is outside of what would be considered "normal" for the average family. Tonight we are all feeling this dread that tomorrow we are back to our normal routine. My middle daughter was very upset and I see the stress creeping back into the oldest. I want us to find the good in our regular routine and find a way to carry these happy relaxed feelings that we uncovered while on vacation into the rest of our days. We need to keep this joy intact.

What I'm wondering is this: what practical things do you do in your daily life to reduce stress, keep the peace and make your routine run smoothly? I realize many of us are at different places in life. I think that only will broaden the possibilities here. If you are a college student... What little things do you do to keep yourself sane during finals/projects? If you are single/married/partnered or not, what do you DO to keep your self and those you care for peaceful and focused on the good?

I'm looking for any ideas here from philosophical to the practical. So I'll start... I know I have to get up about 30 minutes earlier to reduce the morning stress in my house. A stressful morning makes for a stressful day and a stressful night etc....

If you made it to the end...:D thanks for reading and I look forward to learning from you.

Jen

whispering hands

Here are some of the things our parents did for us ..
And we had stupid crazy schedules!! One we always
ate dinner together around the dinner table, no tv, we
Unplugged the telephone.it was a family socializing
Time where we shared our days with each other. On special occasions,
We'd rent a movie, and eat in the living room. We
Had one hour everyday to ourselves, we could use
It to play with our friends, read, listen to music, or
Watch tv.. We did family night one night a week and
kids took turns picking the activity. We took family walks
every night when the weather allowed. Everyone HAD
to go.. No exceptions, unless we were sick! We told
Jokes over breakfast.. And the thing that sticks out most
To me was they did spontaneous things! Like, instead of
A normal dinner, we 're going out for pizza and ice cream.
Just to make things fun!! Good luck, and I hope some others
have some good ideas for you too!

Janbt

Hi,
I hear ya! I'm now in an enviable situation, having escaped the rat race, but I used to have a stressful job (12hrs a day 6 days a week sometimes) and an inner-city lifestyle. I used to keep sane (and civil) by a combination of meditation and exercise. I used to spend 10 mins every morning just centring myself and visualising the day going well, but there are heaps of different types to try. Guided meditations are great if you're new to the whole meditation thing. The other thing I did was make sure I got some time out in nature every week, whether it was a walk on the beach or in the forest...or even just the local park.
I also used to run a lot. I started of walking till I got fit enough, but the feeling of being outside in the fresh air and the feeling of exhilaration and freedom I got really set me up for the day.
I don't know how easy it would be to convince a teenager that meditation is cool but its worth a try!
Take a deep breath and relax...good luck.

shetellsherself

Those are great ideas... Thx to you both. I definitely love the idea of regular walks outside. Unplugged meals are a must here too. Meditation and prayer are regulars in our day too. My oldest and I like to run together. Finding time to do it all is a challenge and doing it without feeling frazzled is another thing all together!

Welcome, Janbt! I noticed that was your first post!

shetellsherself

Jokes over breakfast is a fantastic idea.... Turn a normally hectic, hurry up time into a fun time. Combined with getting up earlier might reset our days from the beginning. Love it!

Janbt

Thanks for the welcome. It's good to be here.

Another idea I used when it was really crazy was to ' not sweat the small stuff'. I just let the non-essential things slide and not try to do everything. The trick then is not to feel guilty about not vacuuming the lounge floor or what ever else it was that you let go.

Hope this helps.
Jan

whispering hands

Good point Janbt!! And yes! Welcome!
Jen.. I always write in a journal too!! It's a great
Way to get things that might bother you out of
your system.. Just always keep it with you, or
locked away!! The reason you want to squirrel it
away, is it's a venue through which you may vent;
You can say whatever you need to say .. You get
it out, no one is the wiser! It's your personal thought
Catalog!! And we don't always have the greatest thoughts!

shetellsherself

whispering hands wrote:

And we don't always have the greatest thoughts!

that is so true! A journal is a great idea. I also find great steam releasing pleasure in browsing through my favorite threads and seeing the new interesting topics around here....

My dad's mantra was "don't sweat the small shit!" So I grew up hearing that too. You both are doing a great job reminding me of the things I needed to be reminded of.

peacefrompaul

shetellsherself wrote:

If you are a college student... What little things do you do to keep yourself sane during finals/projects?

Tell myself I'm going to be fine. Work hard/know what you're talking about and you'll be fine. Maybe not an A student, but fine....

It helps to know when busy times are going to be and plan your schedule accordingly. Usually right at midterms is when things really pick up.


I also smoke copious amounts of marijuana.

brianlux

For me, joy is mostly about keeping my thinking positive. That's hard work sometimes. But since you'll get a lot of feedback about that kind of thing (and I will benefit from those answers too!) I'll give you a more pragmatic idea:

Personal finance is a big stress factor for most of us. One the the best things I've ever done to relieve that pressure is to budget but not just a budget that breaks down what I earn with what our family expenses are but a budget that sets money a aside month ahead. All the money for bills I will pay this month comes from money I set aside in the budget last month. All pay checks that come in this month get put into next months budget. Setting aside a month's worth of expense money ahead of time can be a bit of a challenge to get started (it was for me at first) but once you get there and keep it going, it's great. The bill comes in, you have the money already set aside to pay them. Less stress, more joy!

Annafalk

Hello this was a nice thread I'm not sure I can contribute but I'll make a try..

Go to bed early and go up early plan your morning, have a good breakfast.

Have something fun to look forward to (it's nice to think about).

It can also be kind of hard going in school for many reasons, I remember having a hard time when it was time to talk in front of the class, I hated it and was very nervous. But I didn't talk with my parents about it, if I had practiced on it at home maybe I would have felt better going to school.

Smile at all the little funny things in the ordinary life

shetellsherself

peacefrompaul wrote:

shetellsherself wrote:

If you are a college student... What little things do you do to keep yourself sane during finals/projects?

Tell myself I'm going to be fine. Work hard/know what you're talking about and you'll be fine. Maybe not an A student, but fine....

It helps to know when busy times are going to be and plan your schedule accordingly. Usually right at midterms is when things really pick up.


I also smoke copious amounts of marijuana.

yes the college years....I remember (most of it )well. For me that was 1992-1998. Really joyful time for sure. However I still marvel at how I survived with mind and body intact. no regrets at all though. The memories of that time bring me all kinds of happiness to this day.

Thanks for the other ideas too. Money is definitely a stressor and your ideas for getting a month ahead would certainly alleviate that but it might cut into my bootleg budget a bit.... Hmmmmm it's all about balance, right?

The suggestion to practice school speech at home is extraordinarily timely as my oldest has a speech to give tomorrow and I need to organize the night so she has enough practice time. That means planning from now. Thx for that.

We told jokes at breakfast. My kids are clearly not going to be stand up comics. But we all laughed instead of complained about going to school.