Why Connecticut?: An Open Letter to the Gods

Newch91

Good stuff. We've been getting fucked for the last two years, going on three.

http://ctboom.com/why-connecticut-an-op ... -the-gods/

WHY CONNECTICUT?: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GODS

An open letter to: God, Baby Jesus, Allah, Sheva, Vishnu, Ganesha, Buddha, Osiris, Horus, Quetzalcoatl, Anansi, Cthulu, Krishna, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, et. al.,

We, the denizens of Connecticut have a collective question for the lot of you: Why? Why us? What exactly did we do to piss you off?

Here’s a list of bullshit from the last two years:

February of 2011 brought us the “Groundhog Day Blizzard”, which dumped about 10” of snow on the state and about 3/4” of ice, which combined with previous snowfall to collapse roofs in Bethany, Waterbury and Middletown and also shut down the West Rock Tunnel on the Wilbur Cross due to accidents. Like fucking up Chicago wasn’t enough.

In August of 2011, you visited Hurricane Irene upon us, killing more than ten people, destroying homes, shutting down 15 and knocking out power to over 750,000 people, some for a week or more. 90% of houses in Ridgefield lost power, so the power company said “fuck it” and killed power to the remaining 10% just for shits.

Two months later, you kicked us in the nuts again with Frankenstorm, dumping a foot of snow on Hartford, killing ten people and taking out power (again) for another week to over 800,000 people.

In October of 2012, you corn-holed us with Hurricane Sandy, forcing Governor Malloy to close roads, declare a state of emergency, mobilize the National Guard and causing over $360 million in damage.

December 14th, 2012 saw the murder of twenty children and seven adults in Newtown. I mean, what the fuck.

Then there was the last few days. Blizzard Nemo, or Charlotte, or just the Blizzard of 2013, either way, it was a cluster-fuck. Thirty-eight inches of snow in Milford. THIRTY FUCKING EIGHT. The mayor of Bridgeport has said it will take about a week to plow the whole city.

In closing, I’m not sure what it is that we can do to make things right, but please let us know what we can do to undo our wrong against the lot of you. And if you plan on making an example of us with asteroid 2012 DA14, we kindly request you send that somewhere more deserving, like Damascus.

Thanks,

The Citizens of Connecticut

Hugh Freaking Dillon

Vince McMahon is from there.

Nuff said.

YER FIRED!

Newch91

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

Vince McMahon is from there.

Nuff said.

YER FIRED!

And...



:fp:

LloydXmas

Payback for removing the CT blue laws. REPENT FOR YOUR SINS!!!

youngster

God was a Whalers fan........nuff said.

Newch91

youngster wrote:

God was a Whalers fan........nuff said.

If he was, he would have kept them here.

Newch91

At least the music gods are nice to us.

http://pearljam.com/setlists/1011/1996/ ... sic_center

http://pearljam.com/setlists/1013/1998/ ... sic_center

http://pearljam.com/setlists/1021/2006/ ... usic_arena

http://pearljam.com/setlists/1023/2008/ ... sic_center

http://pearljam.com/setlists/1025/2010/20595/xl_arena

BinauralJam

Because you're between New York and Boston, you're the middle sister, Your not hot like Marsha or cute like Cindy, You're Jan.

LloydXmas

BinauralJam wrote:

Because you're between New York and Boston, you're the middle sister, Your not hot like Marsha or cute like Cindy, You're Jan.

Hahahhahahhahahhhahahahahaha. Holy shit.

The Juggler

http://www.chron.com/news/crime/article ... 271193.php

Cops: Connecticut Man swallows cousin's ear lobe during fight

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) — Police in Connecticut say a city man bit off his cousin's ear lobe and swallowed it during a fight over loud music.

Officers in Stamford charged 27-year-old Emilio Mendoza with first-degree assault and other crimes early Monday morning in connection with the attack on his cousin, 29-year-old Ruiz Clemente-Perez.

Clemente-Perez told police that he asked Mendoza to turn down his loud music because he had to work in the morning, but Mendoza started punching him in the head. During the brawl, Mendoza allegedly bit off part of Clemente-Perez's left ear and swallowed it.

Officers say Clemente-Perez was bleeding and missing part of his ear when they arrived. He also suffered a broken nose and fractured eye socket.

Mendoza is detained on $100,000 bail. It's unclear if he has a lawyer.

Newch91

The Juggler wrote:

http://www.chron.com/news/crime/article/Cops-Man-swallows-cousin-s-ear-lobe-during-fight-4271193.php

Cops: Connecticut Man swallows cousin's ear lobe during fight

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) — Police in Connecticut say a city man bit off his cousin's ear lobe and swallowed it during a fight over loud music.

Officers in Stamford charged 27-year-old Emilio Mendoza with first-degree assault and other crimes early Monday morning in connection with the attack on his cousin, 29-year-old Ruiz Clemente-Perez.

Clemente-Perez told police that he asked Mendoza to turn down his loud music because he had to work in the morning, but Mendoza started punching him in the head. During the brawl, Mendoza allegedly bit off part of Clemente-Perez's left ear and swallowed it.

Officers say Clemente-Perez was bleeding and missing part of his ear when they arrived. He also suffered a broken nose and fractured eye socket.

Mendoza is detained on $100,000 bail. It's unclear if he has a lawyer.

:fp:

Newch91

BinauralJam wrote:

Because you're between New York and Boston, you're the middle sister, Your not hot like Marsha or cute like Cindy, You're Jan.

We want to be an only state.

Somehow I don't know if that joke works or not?