Opinions? Should he have to pay child support?

SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,625
edited January 2013 in A Moving Train
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  • At face value... no.

    But this story exudes dysfunction. The woman took major risks to avoid costs. Why would a guy offer his gizz to a lesbian couple on Craig's List? Is this his idea of making charitable contributions?
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  • aerialaerial Posts: 2,319
    “We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.” Abraham Lincoln
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    At face value... no.

    But this story exudes dysfunction. The woman took major risks to avoid costs. Why would a guy offer his gizz to a lesbian couple on Craig's List? Is this his idea of making charitable contributions?

    I agree. This story has a really bad feeling to it!

    I think it actually calls attention to the reality of the whole "sperm donation" issue. When people donate sperm, they are "donating" the material for half of a PERSON. This person, once born, is the man's child. Even if he was not involved with the fertilization of the egg.

    My husband would never consider donating sperm because he imagined it was like selling his potential children! :|
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  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    Absolutely not.
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  • seems not fair him to pay..
    but..its how he feels about it...
    he donate sperm..but in the end of the day is his children..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Absolutely not.
    Agreed.
    No way in hell should this guy have to pay child support.
    This whole situation is/was shady.
    I wouldnt be the least surprised to find out these 2 ladies had this planned all along.
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,717
    this contract he signed stating he would not be financially responsible or otherwise a part of the childs life, I wonder if it was signed in the presence of a lawyer or at a minimum a notary. I also wonder if these women listed him on the birth certificate?


    This ,on its face, doesnt seem like the mother is the instigator here but rather the state seeking redress.
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  • [
    I wouldnt be the least surprised to find out these 2 ladies had this planned all along.
    yeah..that crossed my mind too
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • QuarterToTenQuarterToTen Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 3,642
    Legally responsible, absolutely not.

    But morally responsible, in such a deeply emotional matter of the heart, how could the poor guy not feel some sort of obligation. It seems more than cruel to put this man in this terrible ethical dilemma.

    In today's world these situations are going to be happening more and more frequently.
    Nice shirt.
  • Legally responsible, absolutely not.

    But morally responsible, in such a deeply emotional matter of the heart, how could the poor guy not feel some sort of obligation. It seems more than cruel to put this man in this terrible ethical dilemma.

    In today's world these situations are going to be happening more and more frequently.
    i agree with this exactly
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Who PrincessWho Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    In today's world these situations are going to be happening more and more frequently.
    A friend of mine was asked to donate sperm in a similar situation. He declined because of potential support/custody issues down the road. His feeling was that no matter how the woman felt now, there was no predicting what might happen in the future.

    I was flabbergasted that someone would just ask a man to father her child, like it's borrowing a cup of sugar. :shock:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • I smell a rat.

    First... Three cups? No man ejaculates three cups of fluid in one go.

    And yes, I am professionally aware of that.

    They did no testing for STDs?

    Sperm doesn't really live that long outside the body. It's why you need a doctor to help the process.

    I think this is a couple who were trying to bilk the system.
  • IF what this guy says is true...........then no way in hell.

    but I'd never personally donate. I couldn't live knowing I had biological children out there and not be involved in their lives.
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  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,104
    mickeyrat wrote:
    this contract he signed stating he would not be financially responsible or otherwise a part of the childs life, I wonder if it was signed in the presence of a lawyer or at a minimum a notary. I also wonder if these women listed him on the birth certificate?


    This ,on its face, doesnt seem like the mother is the instigator here but rather the state seeking redress.

    The news story on tv showed a brief image of the contract and what I saw only had the three parties signatures and no notary. It was just a homemade contract which seems legally iffy in this kind of situation. The state is pushing it, my guess due to the child being on Medicaid and possibly other public assistance.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Yeah, agreed this doesn't pass the smell test.

    Also, aren't documents signed at some point before the process that indemnify the donor from situations like this?
  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,104
    hedonist wrote:
    Yeah, agreed this doesn't pass the smell test.

    Also, aren't documents signed at some point before the process that indemnify the donor from situations like this?

    If you go through the right process, but in this case, they didn't. You know how those craigslist transactions are, that is if you're a real hedonist :lol:
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Go Beavers wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    Yeah, agreed this doesn't pass the smell test.

    Also, aren't documents signed at some point before the process that indemnify the donor from situations like this?

    If you go through the right process, but in this case, they didn't. You know how those craigslist transactions are, that is if you're a real hedonist :lol:
    I AM a real one (within reason)! ...just not a stupid or careless one :mrgreen:

    Craigslist is like newspaper want-ads from back in the day, but gone way wrong.
  • once one donates something....it no longer is theirs. Once a person or couple accept that donation....its theirs forever. Simple as that!
    Theres no time like the present

    A man that stands for nothing....will fall for anything!

    All people need to do more on every level!
  • In the end there are a series of choices. Woman have a choice whether or not to have a child, why then do fathers not have the same right? Why do fathers have no rights, sperm donation or not? Sure the argument is a moral argument, but why should woman have control of everything. i am all about woman's rights being a woman myself, but if the father says he doesn't want the baby, then the woman is faced with a decision, to have the baby and be responsible for it, or terminate it. But men, they don't have that option, their fate falls upon the woman's choice. How is that fair? So because she decides to have the baby now he is responsible and has no choice. This has only a little bit to do with issue at hand, but it something that came to mind when i was reading this article. Just being the devils advocate here, but I am interested to hear your thoughts. So please weigh in.

    This issue is not complex, he donated and it was understood that was the only involvement that he would have. Seems a little unfair that he is now being made to be responsible for a child that he did not agree he would be responsible for, this lesbian couple should be the ones responsible, they were the ones that decided to bring this child into the world and care for it. The real question is, Why then is the other participant not being forced to take care of what she conscientiously agreed to.... Oh that's right because gay marriage is illegal there and they don't have equal rights so her responsibilities are unrecognized and state is ignoring what is really going on.. Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, once again the justice system fails... And another innocent person falls victim.. So I guess the lesson here is, don't donate sperm through any channels then those set out by law or it could come back to bite you. I see someone that was compassionate that was helping a gay couple be parents and fulfilling their dream of being parents being taken advantage of for an act of kindness.
  • once one donates something....it no longer is theirs. Once a person or couple accept that donation....its theirs forever. Simple as that!

    I loved this response!
  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,104
    In the end there are a series of choices. Woman have a choice whether or not to have a child, why then do fathers not have the same right? Why do fathers have no rights, sperm donation or not? Sure the argument is a moral argument, but why should woman have control of everything. i am all about woman's rights being a woman myself, but if the father says he doesn't want the baby, then the woman is faced with a decision, to have the baby and be responsible for it, or terminate it. But men, they don't have that option, their fate falls upon the woman's choice. How is that fair? So because she decides to have the baby now he is responsible and has no choice. This has only a little bit to do with issue at hand, but it something that came to mind when i was reading this article. Just being the devils advocate here, but I am interested to hear your thoughts. So please weigh in.

    This issue is not complex, he donated and it was understood that was the only involvement that he would have. Seems a little unfair that he is now being made to be responsible for a child that he did not agree he would be responsible for, this lesbian couple should be the ones responsible, they were the ones that decided to bring this child into the world and care for it. The real question is, Why then is the other participant not being forced to take care of what she conscientiously agreed to.... Oh that's right because gay marriage is illegal there and they don't have equal rights so her responsibilities are unrecognized and state is ignoring what is really going on.. Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, once again the justice system fails... And another innocent person falls victim.. So I guess the lesson here is, don't donate sperm through any channels then those set out by law or it could come back to bite you. I see someone that was compassionate that was helping a gay couple be parents and fulfilling their dream of being parents being taken advantage of for an act of kindness.

    Part of the issue is that they didn't go through the proper legal channels in the first place, so the state is maintaining that legal process by going after the dad. There would be a lot of fallout if all you had to do as a father to relinquish your responsibilities is have you and the mother sign a homemade contract that isn't even notarized. I don't think that there lesbian matter necessarily. The biological parents have responsibility even if one of the parents is with someone else, male or female, married or not to the other person. If that third person legally adopted the child and the bio father relinquished his rights, then the story would be different.

    The justice system hasn't necessarily failed, it's just following what has been laid out in the past, and it's being pushed by the state's interest of the expense of public assistance.
  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,104
    once one donates something....it no longer is theirs. Once a person or couple accept that donation....its theirs forever. Simple as that!

    I loved this response!

    Then couldn't you just say that having sex is a "donation"?
  • IF what this guy says is true...........then no way in hell.

    but I'd never personally donate. I couldn't live knowing I had biological children out there and not be involved in their lives.

    Totally agree with that... I couldn't imagine the knowledge that I have children out there that I don't know.
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    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
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    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • HorosHoros Posts: 4,518
    In the end there are a series of choices. Woman have a choice whether or not to have a child, why then do fathers not have the same right? Why do fathers have no rights, sperm donation or not? Sure the argument is a moral argument, but why should woman have control of everything. i am all about woman's rights being a woman myself, but if the father says he doesn't want the baby, then the woman is faced with a decision, to have the baby and be responsible for it, or terminate it. But men, they don't have that option, their fate falls upon the woman's choice. How is that fair? So because she decides to have the baby now he is responsible and has no choice. This has only a little bit to do with issue at hand, but it something that came to mind when i was reading this article. Just being the devils advocate here, but I am interested to hear your thoughts. So please weigh in.

    This issue is not complex, he donated and it was understood that was the only involvement that he would have. Seems a little unfair that he is now being made to be responsible for a child that he did not agree he would be responsible for, this lesbian couple should be the ones responsible, they were the ones that decided to bring this child into the world and care for it. The real question is, Why then is the other participant not being forced to take care of what she conscientiously agreed to.... Oh that's right because gay marriage is illegal there and they don't have equal rights so her responsibilities are unrecognized and state is ignoring what is really going on.. Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, once again the justice system fails... And another innocent person falls victim.. So I guess the lesson here is, don't donate sperm through any channels then those set out by law or it could come back to bite you. I see someone that was compassionate that was helping a gay couple be parents and fulfilling their dream of being parents being taken advantage of for an act of kindness.
    I can't believe someone actually feels the same way about this that I do.

    I'm all for pro-choice and the man should have a choice in the matter as well.
    #FHP
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    If this was done through traditional channels, then heck no.

    But once I saw Craigslist was involved ....

    :fp:
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Been thinking about this...and I find it sad that more is being put into going after this guy (who, granted, loses some points for walking this road via Craigslist), rather than true deadbeats and shitty parents.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    In today's world these situations are going to be happening more and more frequently.
    A friend of mine was asked to donate sperm in a similar situation. He declined because of potential support/custody issues down the road. His feeling was that no matter how the woman felt now, there was no predicting what might happen in the future.

    I was flabbergasted that someone would just ask a man to father her child, like it's borrowing a cup of sugar. :shock:

    Yes, and I also feel there's something wrong with this casual baby production. To make children so casually trivializes the process of creation. These people were behaving as if they were making an inanimate object rather than a living being!
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  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    How about this one?

    Ind. man must support artificially conceived kids
    http://www.palmbeachpost.com/ap/ap/kids ... ids/nTx8Z/

    The Associated Press
    INDIANAPOLIS — An eastern Indiana man who divorced his wife must pay child support for their son and daughter even though the children were artificially conceived using sperm donated by another man, the state appeals court has ruled.

    The Indiana Court of Appeals on Tuesday rejected the Delaware County man's argument that he shouldn't have to pay child support because the children were not his biological offspring.

    According to court documents, the couple married in 2001 and began investigating artificial insemination after they learned that the husband's vasectomy was likely irreversible. A friend offered his sperm and the husband agreed because he and the other man resembled each other and shared similar "characteristics and morals," the documents say.

    They performed the procedure without a doctor and gave birth to a boy in 2004, court records say. Two years later, she repeated the procedure and gave birth to a girl.

    The husband treated the children as if they were his biological children and after the couple separated in 2009, spent time with them, and helped pay for daycare, clothing and sports fees, the documents say. But when the husband filed for divorce in October 2010, he said he was not obligated to pay support because the kids were not his biological children. He also said he had not consented to the artificial insemination. His ex-wife contended he had.

    A Delaware County judge ruled last May that the boy and girl were children of the marriage and that the husband was required to help support them. The state appeals court upheld that decision.

    Indiana has laws that regulate artificial insemination to some extent — requiring HIV testing of sperm, for example — there is no statute regarding parental rights or child support.

    "Indiana's in a legal vacuum," said Steve Litz, a Monrovia attorney who specializes in reproductive issues. "It screams for some kind of legislation."

    The Known Donor Registry, a website that helps connect would-be parents with sperm donors, says 32 states stipulate that the husband, not the sperm donor, is the legal father. Virtually all of those states require the husband's consent — generally, in writing.

    "Most states require the husband to have consented to the AI before they will hold him liable for child support," Michael J. Higdon, an associated professor at the University of Tennessee College of Law, said in an email Wednesday.

    "However, the courts are quite flexible in finding such 'consent,'" he added.

    In a research paper published in 2011, Higdon said a handful of states maintain that a husband's consent is implied as long as he does not object within a certain amount of time.

    Litz said the appellate court made the right decision.

    "The Court of Appeals correctly said we don't care about biology; If you are going to hold yourself out as a parent, we are going to impose parental rights on you," he said.

    Attorneys for the former couple had no immediate comment Wednesday.
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  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Jesus. How do you raise children as if they WERE yours biologically and then just say "fuck it" down the road.

    And what if they'd adopted their children?

    Whatta piece of work this guy is. I feel for those kids - gotta do a number on their little psyches.
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    hedonist wrote:
    Jesus. How do you raise children as if they WERE yours biologically and then just say "fuck it" down the road.

    And what if they'd adopted their children?

    Whatta piece of work this guy is. I feel for those kids - gotta do a number on their little psyches.

    Definitely weird and f'ed up. He should pay. I just thought it was ironic that a story like this popped up after the original story in this thread. Some people thought the guy in the original story should have to pay because he was the sperm donor/biological father, though he was completely out of the kids lives and went into it as a donor only!
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
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