Radio Prank & Suicide.

redrock

hedonist wrote:

I have empathy for this woman, who obviously was in a fragile state for whatever reason, and sympathy for her family's loss...but "too good"?

From all the reports, it would seem she was not in a 'fragile' state before this prank. Her husband was talking about the shame she felt, the humiliation at being made such a public laughing stock all over the world. Not only was she humiliated but she felt she also brought this upon her children and husband. The fact that she took immense pride in her work and she felt she had really failed not only her employer (who is not your 'average' employer), but herself. Her employers supported her and did not reprimand her (nor the other nurse who actually divulged the information).

The DJs were mocking her, even now not understanding how 'anyone' could have believed their accents and not understood it was a prank. Not just the DJs but the radio station all together as I understand this was recorded (without informing the hospital that the call was being recorded) and then the go ahead given to air without consent (even if they said they tried to call the hospital to get such consent).

Sad, sad state of affairs.

polaris_x

there's a reason why they have a rule that says anyone who gets recorded without their knowledge would need to approve of the recording to be aired ... the station didn't do this ... they claim to have tried 5 times but couldn't get a hold of her ... maybe they did and maybe they didn't ... not sure ... either way - they didn't follow their own rules and this is a consequence ...

redrock

Exactly polaris.

But you know what I think? What does this prank (or similar pranks/hoaxes) say of the 'public'/'us'? If 'we' didn't relish these kinds of things, these intrusions, humiliations, embarrassments, there wouldn't be any call for them.

Need to look at ourselves too.

hedonist

redrock wrote:

From all the reports, it would seem she was not in a 'fragile' state before this prank. Her husband was talking about the shame she felt, the humiliation at being made such a public laughing stock all over the world. Not only was she humiliated but she felt she also brought this upon her children and husband. The fact that she took immense pride in her work and she felt she had really failed not only her employer (who is not your 'average' employer), but herself. Her employers supported her and did not reprimand her (nor the other nurse who actually divulged the information).

The DJs were mocking her, even now not understanding how 'anyone' could have believed their accents and not understood it was a prank. Not just the DJs but the radio station all together as I understand this was recorded (without informing the hospital that the call was being recorded) and then the go ahead given to air without consent (even if they said they tried to call the hospital to get such consent).

Sad, sad state of affairs.

Very much agreed on that last part. I've been trying to understand how she could have been so hard on herself over this, to end her life over it - and deprive her children their mother. I really feel for her family.

Cosmo

Isn't this similar to a teenager thay commits suicide after being ridiculed or bullied at school?
I mean, yeah, there were/are probably underlying factors that contribute to thoughts of suicide that may or may not have manifested themselves in the past... but, the singular incident is the one that pulled the trigger.
Also... I cannot full responsibility on the D.J.s... just as I could never place the blame of a teenager setting himself on fire because of something he saw on 'Tosh.0', 'Jackass' or 'Bevis And Butthead'. I believe they might play a contributing factor, but do not bear the entire burden.

pandora

hedonist wrote:

pandora wrote:

Her husband is very angry with the hospital ...

So can we conclude she was reprimanded? made to feel personally responsible along with being
massively humiliated.

Many Indian people very proud, very connected to others ...
gentle in spirit, loving, caring.
This world can be so not like that, many people just the opposite.

The DJ's crying on TV this am. When you live your life not caring about your action's effect
on others, it's a tough realization when you finally get how powerful hurt can be
at your hands.
They have paid with their jobs, hopefully now with their hearts. Live and learn,
unfortunately not for the kind hearted nurse. I have a feeling she was too good for this world.

"too good for this world" - what does that even mean? Those who don't have a breaking point are merely adequate for this world?

I have empathy for this woman, who obviously was in a fragile state for whatever reason, and sympathy for her family's loss...but "too good"?

Sorry you don't get it, it's explanatory and obviously you won't agree with my opinion
of her as a person...
no need to debate that.

I have some very remarkable Indian people close to me which effects my feelings and empathy
for her, they are so far ahead of others in sensitivity, not for themselves but for others.
This is very good.

My original comment last week when I heard this was that she too was fragile....
I'm rethinking that though now.

polaris_x

redrock wrote:

Exactly polaris.

But you know what I think? What does this prank (or similar pranks/hoaxes) say of the 'public'/'us'? If 'we' didn't relish these kinds of things, these intrusions, humiliations, embarrassments, there wouldn't be any call for them.

Need to look at ourselves too.

absolutely ... that's what i wrote in my initial response ... and it goes to the OP's point ... we've become shallow beyond belief ... and what passes off as entertainment is pretty sad ...

pandora

Should we say everything happens for a reason?

That the actions of two put into motion a horrible unimaginable situation for many.
The thoughtless prank, the carelessness towards another human being's life,
ends in a lost life here in this world. A life given to help others
not be a detriment to some.

Big picture ... her life was not lived nor lost in vain. Nor will her children ever think so.
She leaves them as her legacy, I have a feeling they are a wonderful contribution,
we could use more like them and their mother.

I'll remember her soul forever.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

while i believe she had other things going on in her life that may have led her to take her life, but i am willing to bet the embarrassment of being pranked put her over the edge.

i work in healthcare, and aside from committing a tort that leads in serious bodily harm or death, the worst thing you can ever do is divulge information about a patient's health or condition. confidentiality is a huge part of the job, and what this woman did was unknowingly commit a serious offense. i think that she was embarrassed. not only can you get fired for breaking confidentiality protocols, but you will be ostracized by your co-workers for making such a preventable mistake. this poor woman disclosed private health information about the most famous woman on the planet and she was devestated by it. i feel terribly sorry for her, and i am very angry at the djs and management at that radio station for what they did.

but my understanding of the reports are that she didn't actually disclose anything, that she passed the phone to another nurse who disclosed the information. is that not correct?

hedonist

pandora wrote:

hedonist wrote:

"too good for this world" - what does that even mean? Those who don't have a breaking point are merely adequate for this world?

I have empathy for this woman, who obviously was in a fragile state for whatever reason, and sympathy for her family's loss...but "too good"?

Sorry you don't get it, it's explanatory and obviously you won't agree with my opinion
of her as a person...
no need to debate that.

Wasn't looking to debate anything, but for clarification of your "too good for this world" comment. Thanks for the assumption and write-off, though. Nice touch!

Cosmo

The thing about suicide... it is an act of selfishness. It never considers the trail of massive wreckage it leaves in its wake. Ask anyone who is the victim of a loved ones suicide.

polaris_x

Cosmo wrote:

The thing about suicide... it is an act of selfishness. It never considers the trail of massive wreckage it leaves in its wake. Ask anyone who is the victim of a loved ones suicide.

i don't want to get into semantics here but i think that this perception that people who commit suicide are selfish is simply a projection and not based in any fact ... i don't think people come to the conclusion to commit suicide lightly and i am guessing that loved ones are considerations ... either way - we don't know what's in the scope ... we also don't know what kind of suffering a person is going through to warrant this act ... unless one can put themselves in another person's shoes - we can only judge ... and it does nothing to help people in similar situations nor acknowledge that a person who does decide to commit suicide has likely suffered significantly in their life ...

gimmesometruth27

Cosmo wrote:

The thing about suicide... it is an act of selfishness. It never considers the trail of massive wreckage it leaves in its wake. Ask anyone who is the victim of a loved ones suicide.

i am not making excuses. one of my best friends, Matt, shot himself at age 14. i was 12 and it fucked me up and stole my innocence...it stole all of our innocence. we were so young.

i eventually forgave him for that but it took me a long time.. it took me experiencing similar feelings of depression and despair and helplessness to fully forgive him.

but if you are the person in pain you are not thinking about other people. you are thinking about making the emotional pain stop. people who commit suicide most times are not thinking clearly. their main goal is to eliminate the pain at all costs. i am not sure if that is selfish or not.

Cosmo

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

i am not making excuses. one of my best friends, Matt, shot himself at age 14. i was 12 and it fucked me up and stole my innocence...it stole all of our innocence. we were so young.

i eventually forgave him for that but it took me a long time.. it took me experiencing similar feelings of depression and despair and helplessness to fully forgive him.

but if you are the person in pain you are not thinking about other people. you are thinking about making the emotional pain stop. people who commit suicide most times are not thinking clearly. their main goal is to eliminate the pain at all costs. i am not sure if that is selfish or not.

...
My friend when we were in high school, Steve, did the same thing. He had problems at home and at school, mostly centered around his parent's divorce. He shot himself with the gun left behind by his dad.
I was extremely angry at him for doing this. Especially to his sisters, who got very fucked up over this and never really got over it. His mom got all messed up, too. She felt guilty for the divorce and for having the gun in the house.
That one instant of not thinking clearly of what he was doing to others... the ones who really loved him... destroyed the ones who loved him. I say it is selfish because it places all of the pain he felt in his life and transferred it to this mother and sisters... as well as his brother and his friends.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

the thing about suicide........some think it's selfish and for the weak minded. but they are not weak.

The depressed mind is a diseased mind. I didn't understand this until I suffered from it myself. DAILY. Today. yesterday. And I'm guessing tomorrow. I'm still here, probably because of meds.

the suicidal mind is an irrational mind. it is not selfish as depression takes the ability to think of others away. selfish is knowing how you are affecting others but doing it anyway. most, if not all, suicidal people think they are doing their loved ones a favor by ending it, at the same time as ending their own pain. So it's actually more selfless than selfish in the depressed one's mind. they think they are a detriment to society and family.

polaris_x

being angry at someone who committed suicide is a selfish act ... should a person suffer internally so that he or she may play a particular role in another's life? ... ya - maybe if we're talking young kids but in the end ... where is the compassion for the person suffering!?

Cosmo

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

the thing about suicide........some think it's selfish and for the weak minded. but they are not weak.

The depressed mind is a diseased mind. I didn't understand this until I suffered from it myself. DAILY. Today. yesterday. And I'm guessing tomorrow. I'm still here, probably because of meds.

the suicidal mind is an irrational mind. it is not selfish as depression takes the ability to think of others away. selfish is knowing how you are affecting others but doing it anyway. most, if not all, suicidal people think they are doing their loved ones a favor by ending it, at the same time as ending their own pain. So it's actually more selfless than selfish in the depressed one's mind. they think they are a detriment to society and family.

...
But, you hang in there, right?
i can only imagine what servere depression would be like... no... i can't even imagine what it would be like. And you bring up a true point... the thoughts being irrational. They do not think about the mass of human wreckage they leave behind for others to deal with because they falsely believe that they ones they love and who love them will be better off without them.
It is a tough call, but from all of the suicides that have taken place.... how often have we heard someone say, 'Yeah... I'm glad he/she killed himself/herself. We are better off, now that that burden is off our shoulders'? My guess, never to extremely rare occasions.
...
Hang in there, friend. The world is so much more interesting with you in it.

Cosmo

polaris_x wrote:

being angry at someone who committed suicide is a selfish act ... should a person suffer internally so that he or she may play a particular role in another's life? ... ya - maybe if we're talking young kids but in the end ... where is the compassion for the person suffering!?

...
There is compassion. But, in the case I described... it was tragic for the living.
His older sister was the one who found him when she got home from school. His little brother tried to clean up the blood because he didn't want his mom to see it. That family really got fucked up after that. None of them finished school and I know his oldest sister got into lots of trouble with the cops. She thought that her teasing him as a kid was to blame. i hold a ton of compassion for those innocense that was destroyed that day.
These were nice people... whose futures were probably going to be different. Selfish or selfless... either way, it had a profound impact on the lives of the people who loved him the most.
...
Yeah, I finally got over it. but, it was many years after. I don't know what became of his family, but in the 10 or so years after he killed himself, they were still suffering from it.

polaris_x

Cosmo wrote:

There is compassion. But, in the case I described... it was tragic for the living.
His older sister was the one who found him when she got home from school. His little brother tried to clean up the blood because he didn't want his mom to see it. That family really got fucked up after that. None of them finished school and I know his oldest sister got into lots of trouble with the cops. She thought that her teasing him as a kid was to blame. i hold a ton of compassion for those innocense that was destroyed that day.
These were nice people... whose futures were probably going to be different. Selfish or selfless... either way, it had a profound impact on the lives of the people who loved him the most.
...
Yeah, I finally got over it. but, it was many years after. I don't know what became of his family, but in the 10 or so years after he killed himself, they were still suffering from it.

sure ... those are the consequences ... but similar to the person who committed suicide letting his torment get to him ... the same can be said for the people who suffered after ... if we expect someone to not go the route of suicide should we then not expect that people who experienced suicide to let it go? ...

in the end - it's clearly a tragic event for everyone involved ... my only point is simply that if continue to demonize people who commit suicide as being selfish ... we learn nothing nor do we move towards a world where there is less ... there are real reasons why someone would consider suicide ... the validity of those reasons are not for us to judge but simply to accept ... and if we want to prevent this from happening again we need to listen ...

Who Princess

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

the suicidal mind is an irrational mind. it is not selfish as depression takes the ability to think of others away. selfish is knowing how you are affecting others but doing it anyway. most, if not all, suicidal people think they are doing their loved ones a favor by ending it, at the same time as ending their own pain. So it's actually more selfless than selfish in the depressed one's mind. they think they are a detriment to society and family.

I can't underscore this enough. While some people suicide out of anger at someone, the majority cannot think clearly about the future or the consequences of their actions. Depression is a horrible disease.