red canvas

justam

I feel like I could explode with frustration today
and then tomorrow morning, like melted metal
I'd be whole again, anxious and needing to do it all over
I don't see how I could ever tell you
buried too far down there to ever say
never to make it to the surface
and, what purpose would it serve anyway?
I guess I'm just going to have to walk around like this!
until the bits and pieces get worn off or fall out of the small holes
one chipped bit at a time
but, I'll be far away
and maybe these confused thoughts will just rattle around
in the barrel like pebbles in a polishing tumbler?
I don't know why it's been so impossible to pull them out!
like how what I wanted most I couldn't have!
and what I needed most I couldn't ask for!
I can say it's my hormones acting up
(which is true)
but, I know it's the inability to throw all my pieces into the wind
like a volcano or fire pit with a grenade