Always find something to laugh at...
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So I'm waiting on line at the gas station this morning in my 5th attempt to get gas. I go inside to get a coffee and smokes, get up to the counter and say "Yeah, can I get $30 on pump 5, thanks." The woman goes to do it, stops and says "Wait, no..." I said I was kidding and started laughing. She cracked up, the guy behind me cracked up. She thanked me and said she needed that laugh. I said "Always find something to laugh at otherwise you go crazy." So for those waiting on these ridiculous lines, try my joke. It'll loosen up the tension.
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"Now YOU listen. When we are on this ship, you are to refer to me as 'Idiot' not 'You Captain'!"
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Good Luck, i've heard they have tankers in the atlantic just waiting for the word, but there so much debrie in the water, and we dont want one of those things to sink.