Apartment Etiquette

mookeywrench

So I'm playing music in my bedroom at 2:00 PM. The volume is quiet enough that I'm able to hear a knock on my entry door while my bedroom door is closed.

I answer the door and it's my upstairs neighbor asking me to turn down the music because her daughter is napping and she (the mom; not the napping daughter) can hear the bumps from the bass when she checks on her daughter.

Sorry, but there are some things you have to just tolerate when you live in an apartment, it's well known apartments have nothing but a slab of plywood and a slab of sheet rock between the levels.

Isn't in the wrong to come knocking on the door to demand I turn down my music while it's playing at a moderate level in the middle of the afternoon? Or am I over reacting?

_

I think you're overreacting. And the polite thing to do would be to turn down the music.

Better Dan

mookeywrench wrote:

So I'm playing music in my bedroom at 2:00 PM. The volume is quiet enough that I'm able to hear a knock on my entry door while my bedroom door is closed.

I answer the door and it's my upstairs neighbor asking me to turn down the music because her daughter is napping and she (the mom; not the napping daughter) can hear the bumps from the bass when she checks on her daughter.

Sorry, but there are some things you have to just tolerate when you live in an apartment, it's well known apartments have nothing but a slab of plywood and a slab of sheet rock between the levels.

Isn't in the wrong to come knocking on the door to demand I turn down my music while it's playing at a moderate level in the middle of the afternoon? Or am I over reacting?

If it hasn't woken the daughter up I don't see why it would be a problem. Maybe she has a thing for you and just wanted to see you/go to your apartment since her daughter would be napping for a while. Got pics? That's my attempt to corrupt this thread

Attaway77

I don't think you are.. It's your right to feel at home just as anybody else. It's two in the afternoon, so your life style has to change for your neighbors? I have to deal with the people who live above me constantly walking like big foot, but I accept it and deal with it...

Indifference71

mookeywrench wrote:

So I'm playing music in my bedroom at 2:00 PM. The volume is quiet enough that I'm able to hear a knock on my entry door while my bedroom door is closed.

I answer the door and it's my upstairs neighbor asking me to turn down the music because her daughter is napping and she (the mom; not the napping daughter) can hear the bumps from the bass when she checks on her daughter.

Sorry, but there are some things you have to just tolerate when you live in an apartment, it's well known apartments have nothing but a slab of plywood and a slab of sheet rock between the levels.

Isn't in the wrong to come knocking on the door to demand I turn down my music while it's playing at a moderate level in the middle of the afternoon? Or am I over reacting?

Your neighbor is definitely in the wrong. Its 2pm, not 10pm. You shouldn't have to change what you do for when your neighbor's daughter is taking a nap. That's ridiculous

Indifference71

_ wrote:

I think you're overreacting. And the polite thing to do would be to turn down the music.

That's ridiculous. What gives that neighbor the right to tell someone to turn down music in the middle of the day just because their daughter is napping. Like the OP said, there are certain things that you just have to learn to deal with when living in an apartment building. If you don't like it, then go buy a house.

mfc2006

Indifference71 wrote:

That's ridiculous. What gives that neighbor the right to tell someone to turn down music in the middle of the day just because their daughter is napping. Like the OP said, there are certain things that you just have to learn to deal with when living in an apartment building. If you don't like it, then go buy a house.

bingo.

81

how old is the kid?

better to ask you turn it down than to call the cops

being a good neighboor involves sacrafice.

Jamminonthe1

Sounds like most of you don't have kids.

BUT, I would have told her to come down after the kid wakes up and then blasted the music!

mookeywrench

_ wrote:

I think you're overreacting. And the polite thing to do would be to turn down the music.

If the apartment floors were insulated I would understand this, but they're not. Any sound is going to travel. I'm already considerate by not playing a drop of music from 8:00 PM to 9:00 AM. Paired with a 9-5 job I'm hardly making noise. She's got it pretty good up there, she can't tolerate moderate noises on a weekend afternoon?

I get to hear her footsteps, and her all of her other kid's crying fits at 3:40AM, and hear hum the Mockingbird lullaby to her kid for 15 minutes nightly. While below me I get to hear some elementary student practice Hot Cross Buns on his recorder for hours. but rather than knocking on their doors all I tell myself is that I live in an apartment, ces't la vie.

It's decided, she's being the unreasonable one.

lukin2006

I agree better to cooperate with her than dealing with the cops...because if the cops go into her apartment and hear it, they'll have you turn it down.

mookeywrench

81 wrote:

how old is the kid?

better to ask you turn it down than to call the cops

being a good neighboor involves sacrafice.

The kid is probably 3 or so. Sacrifice should come from both sides of the fence though.

The funny thing is that this is a new neighbor, the ones before her were a group of party girls who were loud as hell late night and loved Ed Hardy so much that they had seat covers in there cars so they could sport Ed Hardy everyday...WTF? Anyway I digress, they would blast Shaggy's It Wasn't Me at like 3 AM and I wished so bad for them to move out.

Now I got what I wished for. The devil you know is never worse than the devil you don't I guess.

DS1119

Indifference71 wrote:

_ wrote:

I think you're overreacting. And the polite thing to do would be to turn down the music.

That's ridiculous. What gives that neighbor the right to tell someone to turn down music in the middle of the day just because their daughter is napping. Like the OP said, there are certain things that you just have to learn to deal with when living in an apartment building. If you don't like it, then go buy a house.

Game. Set. Match.

Indifference71

81 wrote:

how old is the kid?

better to ask you turn it down than to call the cops

being a good neighboor involves sacrafice.

It's the middle of the day. Fuck that neighbor. OP shouldn't have to change his lifestyle and what he does just because he happens to live in a building with a small child.

Living in an apartment building involves sacrifice.

81

consensus is...CRANK IT UP....


i don't really care...

i was lucky, never really had a bad neighbor. worst was the footsteps when we lived on the lower level.

having a house is nice. buy a house and not the townhouse/condo type.

nocode22

In Chicago our noise ordinance is in effect from 10:00pm - 8:00am. Music played at a reasonable level during the day is not out of bounds. It is apartment living, there is going to be noise - that's just part of apartment living. No need for you to walk on eggshells because a child lives above/below you. As long as you weren't blasting your music at completely insane volumes I'd say you were well within your limits as a tenant and being respectful of those around you. Not your fault a neighbor has a kid who naps, you shouldn't be penalized for their life decisions. Be considerate, yes - don't blast music at all hours of the night. During the day as long as you are being respectful and it's at a reasonable volume you're fine. Let them call the cops during the day, they'll get laughed at.

dcfaithful

Considering everything that has been said, that it's an apartment, the time of day and the fact that the kid hasn't actually been woken up because of your music playing, I think she's jumping the gun.

SatansFuton

mookeywrench wrote:

I answer the door and it's my upstairs neighbor asking me to turn down the music because her daughter is napping

mookeywrench wrote:

Isn't in the wrong to come knocking on the door to demand I turn down my music while it's playing at a moderate level in the middle of the afternoon? Or am I over reacting?

I guess it depends on whether she asked or demanded. As long as she approached you somewhat nicely about it then I don't see any reason to not be neighborly. Maybe the kid is sick, who knows. This wasn't a home invasion, it sounds like a neighbor asking a favor. Judging by some of the responses I don't think I would want to be neighbors with a lot of people around here.

Sounds like this is the only time she's ever done this, it's not like she bangs on his door daily to have him turn his shit off. If she does begin to do that then it's a good time for the "we live in an apartment building" talk and possibly come to a compromise or something. But I don't see any reason to get bent out of shape because somebody asked a favor. Can't people just be amicable?

I don't think mookey is really in the wrong or anything, or that he's overreacting, it really depends on how she approached him. I see a lot of "fuck everybody else I'm doing what I want" attitude coming from a lot of responses, and that shit is why I hate leaving the house and dealing with people. This woman didn't ask mookey to change his lifestyle, she wanted him to turn down his music one time.

81

i don't know about you, but i could go for some loud music right now.

neighbors be damned

_

Indifference71 wrote:

_ wrote:

I think you're overreacting. And the polite thing to do would be to turn down the music.

That's ridiculous. What gives that neighbor the right to tell someone to turn down music in the middle of the day just because their daughter is napping. Like the OP said, there are certain things that you just have to learn to deal with when living in an apartment building. If you don't like it, then go buy a house.

People have the right to ask for whatever they want. And I think it's overreacting to suggest otherwise. And I said it's polite to try to be considerate when your neighbors say you're disturbing them. I didn't say he has an obligation to be polite. (Why are people so quick to look at things from the "But I have a RIGHT to do this" perspective? Instead of always asking ourselves whether something is our right, why can't we instead ask ourselves what action would be most considerate to the people around us? The world would certainly be a better place if we took that perspective more often.)

_

81 wrote:

how old is the kid?

better to ask you turn it down than to call the cops

being a good neighboor involves sacrafice.

This.

_

How dare my neighbor ask me for a cup of sugar!! I don't owe her any sugar! She has no right to my sugar! If she wanted sugar, she shoud've thought about that before she started baking! It's not my fault she makes poor life choices! Ah, times just aren't what they used to be. :(

curlygirly9

Your neighbor is wrong. If it's not after quiet hours she should not have been knocking on your door. I'm in a downstairs apartment, and the only time I've ever said anything in the afternoon to my horrible neighbor, was during a game where they were literally stomping on the floor, screaming out the window and scaring my dog, in other words, ridiculous fucking behavior. It hardly sounds like you were being loud enough to warrant a complaint at 2pm. Just my opinion.

dimitrispearljam

well,is good to be ok with people living around..
do a polite conversation,that u respect the kid want to sleep,but you need to do your things too..
i think isnt a big thinm to figure out this..and all can live in a good spirit