The time I took a Government "Handout"

Prince Of DorknessPrince Of Dorkness Posts: 3,763
edited August 2012 in A Moving Train
I got out of college (the first time) when I was 21. Unlike most students I had worked my ass off through school and a year later, I had quite a large savings in the bank and a good entry-level position in a good, solid company in purchasing which is what I wanted to do.

Then the economic reality that the company I was working for (a large Canadian department store) was run a bit ineptly by the kids of the guys who had done it for the previous few decades and I was laid off with a lot of other people.

No worries... I had some great job skills and my former manager said I did great work and could be a great reference for me.

I wasn't going to have trouble finding a job with my skills and connections and I was against "welfare" and "handouts" and people like me didn't collect unemployment. So I just lived off the rather large savings I had which was going to last me a few months and by then I'd have a job. (not a lot of 21 year-olds fresh out of college can say that. I wasn't irresponsible with my money)

Except I didn't get that job.

I wasn't the only one laid off and my short time at my previous job meant that I had less experience than the guys 10 years older than me got all the jobs I'd have been qualified to take.

So a few months later I had to eat shit and go to the unemployment office. I went in dressed like I'd be dressed for a job interview and the guy looked at me with disgust. I was a bit confused. He asked me a few random questions and found I hadn't been working for six months. He looked down his nose at me and spat "have you even been looking?"

When I explained that yes, I had but hadn't found anything that I'd qualify for but that my search continued, he looked at me again with a look of distain and said "well, this isn't just free money, you know... you're going to have to be looking for work and we're going to have to check up on you."

I told him that I hadn't worked in six months but that I'd supported myself on my savings BECAUSE I didn't want "free money" and that although I was young, I had held a job since I was 16 and had paid into the system that was supposed to be there for me if I needed help.

He begrudgingly handed me a few forms, told me I was going to have to wait 6 weeks for my claim to be processed and if I needed money in the meantime to go to Welfare and get an emergency check. While the idea was horrifying, I had spent every dime I'd saved, run all my lines of credit to their limits, sold everything I had of value and borrowed more from friends than I was comfortable with... AND I had enough food to get me through another day or two and my cat was out of cat food.

So I went to the Welfare office and I have to say it was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. The way they looked at me - a well-dressed and clean guy - asking for a "hand out." It was awful. Now.. yes, I saw a few people walk in and get their checks that I thought looked like they didn't really need it and were totally capable of working. I caught myself judging them until I realized that I'd have thought the same thing about myself.

I got one welfare check. And was hired by another company the next day. I called the guy who'd interviewed me at the Unemployment office to tell him that I wouldn't be needing assistance and he said "I guess you just needed a bit of a slap with reality."

He was an asshole.

Quickly to end the story: I stayed in the corporate grind for years until one day at 32, my husband looked longingly at a Big-Screen TV (which in 2000 retailed for about $15,000) and said "why can't you buy this for me?" He was joking, of course, but I got a big sad as we moved walked past it.

I thought to myself "we deserve nice things, too" and realized that I was no better off or safer than I had been 10 years earlier... when the company I worked for got mis-managed by any idiot further up the chain, my lifeline would be cut and I'd be back at the welfare office being told I was lazy and asking for "free money."

Soon after my new plan was set and now I have my own business and I'm in control of it all. (and without government involvement making the internet accessible to all and overseeing online money transactions and regulating online piracy, I never would have been successful.)

The moral of the story is that not everyone who gets "hand outs" is a lazy person who hasn't worked or doesn't deserve it. Just like there are plenty of those "job creator" billionaires who took their big tax cuts and didn't create any jobs other than hiring a second massage therapist.
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Comments

  • RW81233RW81233 Posts: 2,393
    as i explained in the other thread my dad didn't stop working or trying to find work while my family was on welfare. in fact about 70% of families on welfare have at least one member of the family working a full-time job. regardless he was treated in much the same way as you were when he went in to the welfare office - at least that's what he tells me. add to that the fact that many people are too proud to take welfare because, like you, they feel like it's unamerican.
  • RW81233 wrote:
    as i explained in the other thread my dad didn't stop working or trying to find work while my family was on welfare. in fact about 70% of families on welfare have at least one member of the family working a full-time job. regardless he was treated in much the same way as you were when he went in to the welfare office - at least that's what he tells me. add to that the fact that many people are too proud to take welfare because, like you, they feel like it's unamerican.

    Well in my case, I'm Canadian and we're quite proud of our social safety net BUT I felt it was for people who were incapable of working or... well, beneath me. Which is why I'm glad I went through the experience, I guess. I know that just about anyone can suddenly find themselves unable to make it without help. We pay into the system and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for taking it back out when we need to.
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363

    The moral of the story is that not everyone who gets "hand outs" is a lazy person who hasn't worked or doesn't deserve it. Just like there are plenty of those "job creator" billionaires who took their big tax cuts and didn't create any jobs other than hiring a second massage therapist.

    I must say that those who have issues with "hand outs" have no idea what it's like on the other side of the fence. Hence the need to hurl the term derogatorily. I've only read half of the Ryan thread, but it amazes me the number of people that think that those receiving gov't services are nothing but lazy. Truly no clue there.
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    i volunteered for like 3+ years at the food bank until they got moved to the suburbs ... i saw the people that had to come down for food and was told by the workers there that this isn't a place where people come strolling in all happy that they are getting a "free" meal ... life deals many hands and many of us are very very fortunate to be where we are ...
  • RW81233RW81233 Posts: 2,393
    RW81233 wrote:
    as i explained in the other thread my dad didn't stop working or trying to find work while my family was on welfare. in fact about 70% of families on welfare have at least one member of the family working a full-time job. regardless he was treated in much the same way as you were when he went in to the welfare office - at least that's what he tells me. add to that the fact that many people are too proud to take welfare because, like you, they feel like it's unamerican.

    Well in my case, I'm Canadian and we're quite proud of our social safety net BUT I felt it was for people who were incapable of working or... well, beneath me. Which is why I'm glad I went through the experience, I guess. I know that just about anyone can suddenly find themselves unable to make it without help. We pay into the system and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for taking it back out when we need to.
    you know what's crazy is my parents kept it from us for years (the welfare check part we knew of the WiC) until I kinda did the math and started understanding policies a bit better. when i asked her she almost cried...cried over the fact that she had to take money to help keep her family alive?!?!? It seems that is the mindset many Americans and Canadians have.
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,492
    Prince - that seems to be the exact situation where the safety net is needed. It needs to be a safety tampoline instead of a safety spiderweb. ;)
    hippiemom = goodness
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,492
    RW81233 wrote:
    you know what's crazy is my parents kept it from us for years (the welfare check part we knew of the WiC) until I kinda did the math and started understanding policies a bit better. when i asked her she almost cried...cried over the fact that she had to take money to help keep her family alive?!?!? It seems that is the mindset many Americans and Canadians have.

    I would think a family with 8 kids would have it difficult even with 1 parent working full time, unless that job pays ridiculously well.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    Jeanwah wrote:

    I must say that those who have issues with "hand outs" have no idea what it's like on the other side of the fence. Hence the need to hurl the term derogatorily. I've only read half of the Ryan thread, but it amazes me the number of people that think that those receiving gov't services are nothing but lazy. Truly no clue there.
    ..... I felt it was for people who were incapable of working or...
    We pay into the system and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for taking it back out when we need to.

    My husband worked for 20+ years and we were VERY comfortable. He suffered a massive stroke 4 years ago. I work but it's very difficult to make ends meet on my salary. He is on 'incapacity benefit' (which again, he paid into during his working years). He will never be able to work again. He does not want to be on benefits, he wants to 'do his share' to support his family. Unfortunately he will never be able to work again. He's not lazy or a scrounger, he's disabled.

    Yes there are some who abuse the system, like with anything else in life. But putting everyone in the same basket is wrong.
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    in all fairness to the non-socialists on this board ... they would probably agree that there are plenty of people who truly need assistance ... it really boils down to the fact they don't want to pay for that assistance ...
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,156
    I agree that we can't put everyone into the same basket as well. It seems like opinions are treated like light-switches in these threads. On or off.

    It's time to see that people with an opposing opinion may have dimmer switch installed. :)
    Be Excellent To Each Other
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  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,492
    polaris_x wrote:
    in all fairness to the non-socialists on this board ... they would probably agree that there are plenty of people who truly need assistance ... it really boils down to the fact they don't want to pay for that assistance ...

    I don't believe this is true either. I believe that plenty of people are willing to pay for the "assistance" as you call it. I think for most it's a disagreement about how long. But I could be wrong.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    I don't believe this is true either. I believe that plenty of people are willing to pay for the "assistance" as you call it. I think for most it's a disagreement about how long. But I could be wrong.

    i keep reading the comment ... "i don't want to be forced to pay into programs that don't benefit me" ... paraphrased of course ... and ... that the free market is most adept at taking care of these people ... i.e. if we had less taxes to pay ... there would be more money for people to contribute to church fundraisers and what not ...
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Jason P wrote:
    I agree that we can't put everyone into the same basket as well. It seems like opinions are treated like light-switches in these threads. On or off.

    It's time to see that people with an opposing opinion may have dimmer switch installed. :)
    :mrgreen:
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,492
    hedonist wrote:
    Jason P wrote:
    I agree that we can't put everyone into the same basket as well. It seems like opinions are treated like light-switches in these threads. On or off.

    It's time to see that people with an opposing opinion may have dimmer switch installed. :)
    :mrgreen:

    I always see the opposing viewpoint as dimmer.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • inlet13inlet13 Posts: 1,979
    Why does the government do charity work best? In my mind, they aren't very good at even balancing a checkbook. They are very good at spending money on nonsense - like slug races. How in the world do you rationalize that they aren't wasting a lot of the money that's meant to be directed to these programs? Moreover, how do they provide checks to ensure there aren't "free riders"? Does anyone like paying for those free riders - the people who aren't looking for employment? How exactly are these gov't programs teaching people so they don't end up back with the same problem? Does the government have as much of an incentive to get them a job and off the books as a private enterprise would? Why can't one choose how they'd prefer to donate? Why does it need to be forced via taxes to do it the one way?

    Moreover, why do some here equate ALL people who disagree with "government" forms of welfare, as people who hate the poor? For all you know, they contribute a hell of a lot more (as a percentage of their wealth) than you do - both in taxes and in charitable donations, they'd just prefer to the charitable donations because they know the tax money goes to slug races, running up more debt, hiring more useless gov't positions and printing money to hide it all.
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  • mikepegg44mikepegg44 Posts: 3,353
    polaris_x wrote:
    in all fairness to the non-socialists on this board ... they would probably agree that there are plenty of people who truly need assistance ... it really boils down to the fact they don't want to pay for that assistance ...


    nonsense
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  • StillHereStillHere Posts: 7,795
    I appreciate the viewpoint of the OP.
    For those of you who don't want to pay into a program that will not benefit you, and vow that you will never ever ever accept a "handout" or "free money" from your government.

    Think twice.
    By a simple sleight of hand it could just as easily be you.

    Be careful what you wish for.

    I hope you never have to collect, but having been there, I for one am extremely grateful that I was able to feed my children through some very hard times in the past.
    peace,
    jo

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  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Prince - that seems to be the exact situation where the safety net is needed. It needs to be a safety tampoline instead of a safety spiderweb. ;)
    ...
    Point.
    That's the deal. I am all for a hand up for those Americans who are down on their luck... for whatever reason.
    I don't believe the hand up should evolve into a crutch.
    I also believe that tossing out the entire system because there are people who abuse it is wrong... because i know there are people who really need the helping hand. Go after the criminal ones stealing it... instead of lumping the ones in need as the criminals.
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  • Johnny AbruzzoJohnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 11,769
    We (the USA) are a wealthy country with the means to take care of the vulnerable. Those who want to take these benefits away are borderline barbaric.

    Yes, there is a lot of fraud, but clearly there is actual legitimate need in many more cases.
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  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    See, I agree with this, Cosmo. I guess I get frustrated when it's inferred that because I (anyone) may think the system has some serious flaws that need to be fixed NOW, I become labelled as looking down on those who need that temporary help - not that anyone's opinion of me really matters in the end, but you know what I mean.

    None of us are immune from needing a handup from time to time. Fuck knows I'm not, and have been there myself.

    It'd be wonderful - rainbows & unicorns, actually :P - if the lumping would ease up on all sides.
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    We (the USA) are a wealthy country with the means to take care of the vulnerable. Those who want to take these benefits away are borderline barbaric.

    Yes, there is a lot of fraud, but clearly there is actual legitimate need in many more cases.
    ...
    Thank you, Johnny.
    I always thought part of being American was the base principle of the strong, helping the weak... the haves, helping the have nots.
    When did all of that change?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • comebackgirlcomebackgirl Posts: 9,885
    Most of the people I know who have had to access SSI or welfare or unemployment at some point do not come to that decision easily. It's hard enough being in a position to need government support, not to mention the stigma and hit to the pride that comes with it. I really wish that this was not one more obstacle they have to face when their lives are already overwhelmed with so many others.
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  • RW81233RW81233 Posts: 2,393
    Jason P wrote:
    I agree that we can't put everyone into the same basket as well. It seems like opinions are treated like light-switches in these threads. On or off.

    It's time to see that people with an opposing opinion may have dimmer switch installed. :)
    not specifically you but some on the other side of the fence from me would say we were "the good poor" because we used assistance to get somewhere...kinda like good "negroes" and "fags" and "chicks" :roll: ...again this isn't directed at you specifically but that's how students have characterized my family as if we were one of the few who tried our asses of. we were one of the few that tried and got lucky as shit is more like it.
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    hedonist wrote:
    See, I agree with this, Cosmo. I guess I get frustrated when it's inferred that because I (anyone) may think the system has some serious flaws that need to be fixed NOW, I become labelled as looking down on those who need that temporary help - not that anyone's opinion of me really matters in the end, but you know what I mean.

    None of us are immune from needing a handup from time to time. Fuck knows I'm not, and have been there myself.

    It'd be wonderful - rainbows & unicorns, actually :P - if the lumping would ease up on all sides.
    ...
    I think we both feel the same on this... we are willing to pull a guy up from the gutter to get him back up on his feet. We are not going to be his sole support and we don't believe he should take advantage of the kindness of others.
    And yes... the system has flaws... the basic flaw being trust. It trusts that the people receiving the charity are the ones who truely need it. I don't blame the system as much as the people... the flaw in the system is people, namely, the greed within people.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
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  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    The problem, as i see it, are the lifers. I worked with a women who was on section 8 for 25 years (passed away last year), had two kids and raised them and never got married so she could keep section 8 apartment, a 3 bedroom that cost around 400.00 a month when she started and only went up to 650.00 over that time. Her baby's father lived there the entire time and had a good job, not great but good. So now her daughter inherits the apartment ( dont ask me how that works) she's 23 and has two kids and isn't married to the baby's father either and never will be, why would she, she would lose these benefits. But it's not just beating the system, it teaching how to, to the next generation and so on and so on. The person in the system who decides who get what usually lives in those same neighborhood's, so guess who their going to look out for? Their own.

    After saying all this i still have no problem with the government helping people out, even these people, i have a problem with how much we piss away to make a better gun or bomb, i don't see anyone invading the U.S.A. anytime, EVER. Perhaps we could cut the military funds and spend them on our country for a little while?

    But that's just my opinion.
  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,191
    inlet13 wrote:
    Why does the government do charity work best? In my mind, they aren't very good at even balancing a checkbook. They are very good at spending money on nonsense - like slug races. How in the world do you rationalize that they aren't wasting a lot of the money that's meant to be directed to these programs? Moreover, how do they provide checks to ensure there aren't "free riders"? Does anyone like paying for those free riders - the people who aren't looking for employment? How exactly are these gov't programs teaching people so they don't end up back with the same problem? Does the government have as much of an incentive to get them a job and off the books as a private enterprise would? Why can't one choose how they'd prefer to donate? Why does it need to be forced via taxes to do it the one way?

    Moreover, why do some here equate ALL people who disagree with "government" forms of welfare, as people who hate the poor? For all you know, they contribute a hell of a lot more (as a percentage of their wealth) than you do - both in taxes and in charitable donations, they'd just prefer to the charitable donations because they know the tax money goes to slug races, running up more debt, hiring more useless gov't positions and printing money to hide it all.

    You have to look at it stepping outside your mind. You said somewhere else the blanket statement that the private sector is more efficient than the government. I think that's one of those phrases where it's often repeated, so eventually it's believed by many. But dig into that statement more. How do you measure efficiency? What services have been provided by the government but then handed over to the private sector only to see the company fail at executing it? Why do some areas of government get the trust of the public and others don't?

    Look at food stamps. Administrative costs are kept low, where do you identify inefficiency in how it's run?

    When you made the statement "providing checks", maybe you're referring to people who receive TANF, or cash welfare. The expectations of the recipient vary from state to state, but things were tightened up in the 90's and state's are raising the bar with expectations of the recipient. There are exemptions, but there is a work requirement when receiving tanf (again will vary state to state). Caseworkers also make home visits to follow up on what's being reported with the expectation. Remember that any program to develop skills and also trying to stop fraud is expensive in itself.

    One can donate, but often the conservative argument relies on the notion that if taxes that went to public assistance was somehow given back to the individual, that an equal contribution to charitable organizations would occur. This doesn't play out in reality. When people get a tax kicker or 'stimulus' or whatever, they spend it on paying down some personal debt, saving some of it, and also buying crap made in China.
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    i have had a job outside the home since i was 10 years old. sure it wasn't taxed when i was that young; i cut grass, washed windows, and vaccumed hallways at a condo. i always have had a job of some kind. my dad and mom instilled a hard work ethic into us kids.

    now when mom & dad got divorced some of the time we lived with mom and some of the time we lived with the ol' man. when living with mom i worked after school at a mexican restuarant washing dishes and making tacos, burritos & enchaladas. not to difficult of stuff to prepare. my mom got my checks come payday. this burnt my frickin ass something fierce but i knew it had to happen. she worked 2 part time jobs and attended college fulltime and we were poor as fuck. this went on for years.

    i have always gave my mom money. drug money or clean... as long as our family was eating i was at ease. yes i sold pot as a teenager to help feed my younger brothers, mom and myself plus i worked. mom got food stamps and it was the farthest thing from a good time.

    my friends always asked, "but chad, where's your money? you just got paid?" fact is mom got most of my money. i might of had 10 bucks or some shit to buy a small sack. life is a hash & cold fucking place.

    yes dad paid child support. the fact is it costs a shit load of money to raise 3 kids and when you aren't employeed with a great or almost great job, you're fucked!
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  • MotoDCMotoDC Posts: 947
    Go Beavers wrote:
    One can donate, but often the conservative argument relies on the notion that if taxes that went to public assistance was somehow given back to the individual, that an equal contribution to charitable organizations would occur. This doesn't play out in reality. When people get a tax kicker or 'stimulus' or whatever, they spend it on paying down some personal debt, saving some of it, and also buying crap made in China.
    To me this is almost a separate issue. Specifically, how one-time tax kickbacks are useless and arguably counterproductive. At the end of the day, those kinds of approaches don't change expectations and thus they don't change behaviors. Whether the purpose is charitable donations or boosting the economy, if I have no reason to believe that a notable paradigm shift has occurred in tax policy, my general habit patterns related to spending, giving, and saving aren't really going to change very much.
  • unsungunsung I stopped by on March 7 2024. First time in many years, had to update payment info. Hope all is well. Politicians suck. Bye. Posts: 9,487
    Nothing wrong with a bit of help to get you back on your feet. It's those that get it cradle-to-grave that are the problem.
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