Church Praise band problems...

xtremehardy388

I joined my church's praise band (guitar). They've been wanting me to join for a while. I finally gave in and I wanted to. Problem is, I just don't feel the music and I don't really feel that certain connection with people when playing...it sucks...I just play the chord on the page....I don't feel the music or really get into it. There's no chemistry...also, I can't really "cut loose" with the music...there isn't really much for me to do. I just don't really have fun. I'm the least advanced of the musicians which is working me hard (and I have no problem with it). Everyone is nice and patient with me so I feel a bit guilty for thinking about leaving the band. One of the musicians is a mentor and an accomplished musician (John Chamberlin of "Sweet Maya"). He's a great friend and I feel some connection with him but just not IT. Our pastor is the other guitar player and he's a great guy. He gets into the music but it's almost as if it's HIS energy. I try to get into it with him but it's as if he's so closed off. He's not the star or the leader of the band, either---by that, I mean he's not wanting the spotlight or anything like that. I feel disconnected from the music and everyone on the stage. I'm used to having a connection and interacting with the players when I'm making music. In this band I just feel disconnected---playing chords on a sheet of paper as opposed to playing music. Any advice/tips?

JA209260

Yeah, that's life in a band. I've been a touring/ studio musician for a really long time and unless it's your project that you're fronting, you just need to do your job. Doing it the best you possibly can sometimes is the only reward, but often there's more. I get a lot of work because I'm a drummer that can read music, so they just give me the tune on paper and I never get to use my imagination unless it specifically asks for it. That's the life of a musician a lot of the time. Really boring. :fp:

xtremehardy388

JA209260 wrote:

Yeah, that's life in a band. I've been a touring/ studio musician for a really long time and unless it's your project that you're fronting, you just need to do your job. Doing it the best you possibly can sometimes is the only reward, but often there's more. I get a lot of work because I'm a drummer that can read music, so they just give me the tune on paper and I never get to use my imagination unless it specifically asks for it. That's the life of a musician a lot of the time. Really boring. :fp:

Yeah. I just don't know how much longer I'll stick with it....it's not fun, really....I don't have any freedom to express myself...it's just really....dragging.

gimmesometruth27

xtremehardy388 wrote:

I joined my church's praise band (guitar). They've been wanting me to join for a while. I finally gave in and I wanted to. Problem is, I just don't feel the music and I don't really feel that certain connection with people when playing...it sucks...I just play the chord on the page....I don't feel the music or really get into it. There's no chemistry...also, I can't really "cut loose" with the music...there isn't really much for me to do. I just don't really have fun. I'm the least advanced of the musicians which is working me hard (and I have no problem with it). Everyone is nice and patient with me so I feel a bit guilty for thinking about leaving the band. One of the musicians is a mentor and an accomplished musician (John Chamberlin of "Sweet Maya"). He's a great friend and I feel some connection with him but just not IT. Our pastor is the other guitar player and he's a great guy. He gets into the music but it's almost as if it's HIS energy. I try to get into it with him but it's as if he's so closed off. He's not the star or the leader of the band, either---by that, I mean he's not wanting the spotlight or anything like that. I feel disconnected from the music and everyone on the stage. I'm used to having a connection and interacting with the players when I'm making music. In this band I just feel disconnected---playing chords on a sheet of paper as opposed to playing music. Any advice/tips?

go home and read everything that you typed in this post and i think you will find your answer.

it is like being in a relationship with a girl. if the spark is not there initially and it is not fun, it's not ever gonna be.

just my $.02.

JOEJOEJOE

my .02:

are you there to "feel it" ?

or

are you there to help others "feel it" ?

he.who.forgets

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

my .02:

are you there to "feel it" ?

or

are you there to help others "feel it" ?

good point. Either way, hope it turns out for the best

xtremehardy388

It's hard to get people to feel it if I don't feel it, I think. You're all right....and I appreciate your 2 cents. I'm thinking I'll stick it our for a bit longer and if nothing changes, I'll let the band know that I'll be leaving. THe hard part will be mustering up the motivation and desire to play....

JOEJOEJOE

xtremehardy388 wrote:

It's hard to get people to feel it if I don't feel it, I think. You're all right....and I appreciate your 2 cents. I'm thinking I'll stick it our for a bit longer and if nothing changes, I'll let the band know that I'll be leaving. THe hard part will be mustering up the motivation and desire to play....

just to play devil's advocate ....even if you aren't feeling it, the people may still feel it.

xtremehardy388

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

xtremehardy388 wrote:

It's hard to get people to feel it if I don't feel it, I think. You're all right....and I appreciate your 2 cents. I'm thinking I'll stick it our for a bit longer and if nothing changes, I'll let the band know that I'll be leaving. THe hard part will be mustering up the motivation and desire to play....

just to play devil's advocate ....even if you aren't feeling it, the people may still feel it.

Very true....I've had many people say thank you and that they're really glad that I'm up there...that's adding to my dilemma

JOEJOEJOE

xtremehardy388 wrote:

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

xtremehardy388 wrote:

It's hard to get people to feel it if I don't feel it, I think. You're all right....and I appreciate your 2 cents. I'm thinking I'll stick it our for a bit longer and if nothing changes, I'll let the band know that I'll be leaving. THe hard part will be mustering up the motivation and desire to play....

just to play devil's advocate ....even if you aren't feeling it, the people may still feel it.

Very true....I've had many people say thank you and that they're really glad that I'm up there...that's adding to my dilemma

I've learned that actions/gestures that may seem minimal to some could mean the world to others.

xtremehardy388

Very true....I've had many people say thank you and that they're really glad that I'm up there...that's adding to my dilemma[/quote]


I've learned that actions/gestures that may seem minimal to some could mean the world to others.[/quote]
So true. I just don't know if I can *fake* it and just stick it out for long. I'll give it until the end of September....but breaking the news to those band members might be tough

xtremehardy388

Just an update--


Brought it up with one of the band members, tonight. He said to stick it out and that I add a new and younger dimension to the group. I'm gonna try but I'm really having more and more apprehensions towards it as time goes by. I'm still planning on sticking it out for one more month...

xtremehardy388

Even more of of an update---had practice, today (our music director wasn't there) and had a blast. I got there early and started playing Little Wing and the drummer and bassist joined in! Then the bassist (J. Chamberlin) played a riff he made up and we jammed on it and had a blast. I honestly felt really connected with the band. I'm hoping that this is a turn for good things.

My chord changes have been getting better and I left practice with a smile on my face

bootlegger10

xtremehardy388 wrote:

Even more of of an update---had practice, today (our music director wasn't there) and had a blast. I got there early and started playing Little Wing and the drummer and bassist joined in! Then the bassist (J. Chamberlin) played a riff he made up and we jammed on it and had a blast. I honestly felt really connected with the band. I'm hoping that this is a turn for good things.

My chord changes have been getting better and I left practice with a smile on my face

Good for you. I played in a church band in high school. It sucked but I just didn't put much effort into it and it wasn't one of the praise bands we are used to today where the energy is much higher.

Like you said, you are the least advanced of the group. Could be a great learning opportunity.

xtremehardy388

bootlegger10 wrote:

xtremehardy388 wrote:

Even more of of an update---had practice, today (our music director wasn't there) and had a blast. I got there early and started playing Little Wing and the drummer and bassist joined in! Then the bassist (J. Chamberlin) played a riff he made up and we jammed on it and had a blast. I honestly felt really connected with the band. I'm hoping that this is a turn for good things.

My chord changes have been getting better and I left practice with a smile on my face

Good for you. I played in a church band in high school. It sucked but I just didn't put much effort into it and it wasn't one of the praise bands we are used to today where the energy is much higher.

Like you said, you are the least advanced of the group. Could be a great learning opportunity.

Very true.

xtremehardy388

After much deliberation, I've decided to stop playing with the band. I don't feel it anymore and my style just doesn't work. Part of me feel inferior to the group (almost as if they look down on me) and that my skills are being limited.

Thanks, everyone, for your advice. I'm sure I'll play sporadically with everyone, but still.... it's time to let go.

JOEJOEJOE

Convert to Judaism and play in a klezmer band at a temple....that is some fun music!

xtremehardy388

What did I warm up with, at church? The drummer and I looked at each other and then played Little Wing and Kick Out the Jams (with no lyrics) and then fooled around with Yellow Ledbetter----fitting!