Divorce and Kids
sleeplikeadog
Posts: 156
I hate to get all serious on your asses, but I have some serious stuff to discuss, and I find the anonimity of the internet to be fantastic. Also, some of you seem to have experienced enough in life to actually be helpful 
So.....I'm 30 yrs old, and have a 2 year old son who I love more than anything in the whole world. I also, however, have a boyfriend(we aren't married, thank god) that I am becoming less and less fond of. I won't go into all of the details, but lets just say that if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have stayed with him. We were only together for 7 months before I got pregnant(we were drunk for the first 4). He isn't really that nice of a person, and when given the chance, he will do the wrong thing 9 out of 10 times.
Long story short, I am not happy with my relationship and don't want to continue, BUT I am hesitant to call it quits because I wonder about the impact it will have on my son. A part of me thinks that I should stick it out so that he can have a "together" family, but a part of me thinks that it's a horrible idea because the constant arguing and anger aren't healthy. I guess I'm wondering if I'm being selfish in the whole thing. I just feel like there's too much water under the bridge to really salvage the relationship for me. I know you're supposed to forgive and forget, but some of this shit is REALLY fucked up. Also, I'm not sure if he is man enough to actually show up and be a father if I call it quits. My son will need him, not just financially, but as a father. And as I stated earlier, his record of doing the right thing isn't all that great. And my financial situation isn't all that great either.
Anyways, anyone been in a similar situation with some advice or guidance? I actually feel a little lost right now. I feel I'm searching for something, and if I make the wrong decision I may end up more unhappy in the end, or maybe I'll regret not making the decision because I will always wonder what could have been.
So.....I'm 30 yrs old, and have a 2 year old son who I love more than anything in the whole world. I also, however, have a boyfriend(we aren't married, thank god) that I am becoming less and less fond of. I won't go into all of the details, but lets just say that if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have stayed with him. We were only together for 7 months before I got pregnant(we were drunk for the first 4). He isn't really that nice of a person, and when given the chance, he will do the wrong thing 9 out of 10 times.
Long story short, I am not happy with my relationship and don't want to continue, BUT I am hesitant to call it quits because I wonder about the impact it will have on my son. A part of me thinks that I should stick it out so that he can have a "together" family, but a part of me thinks that it's a horrible idea because the constant arguing and anger aren't healthy. I guess I'm wondering if I'm being selfish in the whole thing. I just feel like there's too much water under the bridge to really salvage the relationship for me. I know you're supposed to forgive and forget, but some of this shit is REALLY fucked up. Also, I'm not sure if he is man enough to actually show up and be a father if I call it quits. My son will need him, not just financially, but as a father. And as I stated earlier, his record of doing the right thing isn't all that great. And my financial situation isn't all that great either.
Anyways, anyone been in a similar situation with some advice or guidance? I actually feel a little lost right now. I feel I'm searching for something, and if I make the wrong decision I may end up more unhappy in the end, or maybe I'll regret not making the decision because I will always wonder what could have been.
Walking is still honest
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Comments
For gods sake.. Get your life together for your self, your son and the father of your child.
Arrange some therapy instead of running because once you start running.. you'll never find peace at home.
Is he a violent man? Does he hurt his kid, does he scare his kid. Is he a criminal or endangering your living beeing?
It seems so easy for a lot of people to just run away from there problems instead of dealing with them.
"That what you fear the most, could meet you half way"
Broken home children are 'five times more likely to suffer mental troubles'
please check this LINK and maybe no internet will be needed to sort out your problem
do the best for you and your kid...
seem that is to go away from this guy..
do it asap.....
and one tip....never......i mean NEVER.....put your children in the middle of the issues you having with the father of your son...
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Awesome words of advice here. I grew up without a father...total deadbeat, my mom just cut him out of our lives. I never missed growing up without a dad because I never had one and now, being older, I completely understand why she did what she did and agree that she did the right thing.
That being said, every situation is different. Maybe you should try to go to counseling just to try it out. Counselors don't always try to keep relationships together either, if they see that it's wrong, then they will tell you and will hopefully make the transition easier. Good luck!!!!
First off, your son is very young, and kids are resilient. My parents divorced when I was 2. I still saw my dad whenever I could.
If your bf hasn't 'grown up' since becoming a father, he probably never will. You need to do what is best for the both of you. kids are smart, and they can tell when people don't get along.
I think you already know the answer to your situation, nobody can tell you what to do, the only person who can is yourself.
I wish you the best of luck.
- Christopher McCandless
Father died when I was 5 and it was the best thing that could have happened to my family... Just because someone has working genitalia, doesn't mean they should ever have kids. In other words, y'all can blame him for the "person" you see before you today.