What not to say to a bouncer
pjfan31
Posts: 7,331
So we'd been at the footy on Saturday night, and wanting to head out... so we were pretty sauced up, and while we were lining up to get in, My 3 mates and I agreed that we would say we had only 4 drinks (yeah right) if quizzed by the bouncer on entry
Bouncer: How many people in your party?
My Mate: Four Drinks
Bouncer: I asked how many people in your party and I think you have had more than four drinks...
Bouncer: How many people in your party?
My Mate: Four Drinks
Bouncer: I asked how many people in your party and I think you have had more than four drinks...
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
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EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
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Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
i just walk past them and make them come see me.
If being escorted out (after being a dick), never tear your shirt off and square off with the bouncer while saying "Let's fucking do this". Because if you do, you are likely to hear "tale him down" over the bouncer's walkie talkie and then, seemingly out of thin air as if there is some sort of magic bouncer waiting area, 6 (yes, 6) bouncers will beat the living piss out of you at the same time, to ensure they protect their own. It seemed like overkill, but it also seemed necessary.
It was in NYC a few years ago while we were out for my bachelor party. No, it was not one of the members of our crew. Yes, the guy got the snot beat out of him. Yes, he was a complete douche and deserved it.
Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
Anyway, after getting taken down by several islanders (80% of our security guards are pacific Islanders, big guys), he looked back to see his mate still getting beat up, so my friend, took off his belt, and ran in whipping the security so his friend could get away... I have never heard of someone whipping security...
Now that was a story and may he R.I.P
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
"i had the right to remain silent
i did not, however, have the ability"
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
he took on 3 darker colored men who had ballbats. he fought them the best he could for something like 20 minutes until (state name) state patrol got to the scene. they hospitalized my dude's dad for a long time. not a good idea that those three didn't just kill (!@%$#) yes he has a girl's name. (!@#$#) can also be a man's name, i see no one telling (!@#$) any different.
when released from the hospital he systematically hunted down each one of those guys and beat the living snot out of them within millimeters of death im sure. broken bones, stomped in ribs, teeth kicked in. im sure it was a mess 3 times over.
(!@#@) is a fucking hero around here and treated like a saint. he has protected strippers for 40 odd years. and he is one of the toughest and kindest men alive.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Walked to the outside section through the back door. I heard some big ass dude (who was sitting down) tell me to "Close the damn door". For some reason, being yelled at like that set me off and I just turned to him and said, "Why don't you get off your big ass and fucking close it?" And he gave me a weird look and started laughing, to which I replied, "Were you born in a fucking barn man?"
Didn't end too well. (no violence as I'm a girl, which was one positive thing that came out of it)
some of my favorites:
watching a short, tank of a man I used to play rugby with knock a huge bouncer unconcious with 1 punch. My rugby buddy was a full back, maybe 5'8"... the bouncer was like 6'4"... my buddy and the bouncer squared off on the street outside, my buddy stood on the curb, jumped about 8 inches in the air, and cracked the bouncer square in the temple... one punch, bouncer was out cold junk. buddy ran off, ambulence collected the bouncer.
another time i was underage and with my other buddy who was underage. my buddy pat had his older brother's ID trying to get into the club. this mouse of a girl checking ID's says it's not him and confiscates his ID. Pat loses it, screams at the girl for about 5 minutes. Bouncer does nothing and then says "hey, there's a cop, you want it back, get him to give it back"... so Pat, goes and gets the cop and the cop actually gives it back!!!
Icing on the cake for that one was 6 years later I'm dating a girl, tell her that story, and find out she was the chick who tried to confiscate the ID!!
I would have cracked ya.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
i still would
You two are suuuuuuch tough guys.
There was no need for him to scream at me. He should have asked nicely.
yeah...that bastard...lets go kick his arse.
lol too funny
Leaving doors open = a punch.
You guys are so young you still go to bars that have Bouncers ....
If bars didn't have bouncers, who would employ all the people who failed to get into the police force?
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Concert venues.
The bouncer was about 6'5" and 220 lbs of solid muscle. Needless to say the only one laughing was my friend, the giggles where cut short when the bouncer clocked him in the face.
you mean he sniffed them?
maybe he circles around them a few times, cocks his leg and pees on them?