Just need some cheering up, fam

hls990hls990 Posts: 15
edited July 2012 in A Moving Train
So today marks the end of my 3 year relationship with the woman I wanted to marry, after I found out she was cheating. I know this forum is not for things of this nature, but I kinda just want someone to talk to. Been up all night in misery, feeling disgusting and used. I don't expect a counseling session, just some friendly voices. Thanks family.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Sorry to hear that dude. I had a buddy go through the same thing recently and while he was devastated at first eventually he met a great girl and he's happier than he's ever been! While his ex has been through several failed relationships since. He won; she's a douche! Sometimes, things happen for a reason. Stay strong and remember life is too short to waste on lost love! :)
  • hls990hls990 Posts: 15
    thank you so much
  • john roachjohn roach Posts: 80
    I've been there man. It really sucks. Wish I had some great advice for ya. Just remember women are like fish; theyre kindda slimey but you can always pick one up at the supermarket
    I don't even know what that was. Man, just don't let it keep ya down.
    John Roach
  • nothing_man_92nothing_man_92 Canberra, Australia Posts: 347
    That stinks dude... Everything happens for a reason man and good will eventually come of it.
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    wow, i'm really sorry to hear that :(

    there is not a lot that anyone can say, but i went through the same thing about 2 years ago. it was the most devestating thing to ever happen to me. it happens to all of us. most of us have been cheated on at one point or another, and that betrayal is a very difficult thing to forgive, forget, and get over.

    all i can say is it gets better. yeah it totally sucks now, and you probably haven't hit bottom yet, but when you do you need to tell yourself that "it's not how hard you fall, it is how high you BOUNCE"... and i know you don't think so now, but you should be glad that it happened now instead of while you are married. it is easier to make a break when you aren't married. also, as i have found out, if you are going to be with someone who will cheat on you, you are better off alone. i know i am.

    i honestly hope things get better for you. in the meantime try to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. write in a journal, go work out at the gym, do something to stay busy or else you will focus on it and replay it in your mind over and over and over, and that is not healthy at all....most of all, if you can avoid it, stay away from drugs and alcohol for a little bit. those things are good for making you feel better and forget about things, but they make you make stupid decisions, do stupid things that seem ok at the time, and do things that you will regret later.

    most of all, leave her alone. don't contact her. you might think you are doing the right thing by trying to contact her or patch things up, but trust me, you should keep your distance right now. she knows what she did, and if it was an ongoing affair, chances are she does not feel bad about what she did, only that she got caught.

    there are good people around here and there is a lot of good advice they have to give. i got some great advice from the people on this board, but i did not turn the corner until i went and talked to someone professionally. if you need to talk to someone, i would call my doctor and ask them to recommend a good counselor. it was the best decision i ever made because it helped me address other issues that i had that i was unaware of..

    best of luck!
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • riotgrlriotgrl LOUISVILLE Posts: 1,895
    Sorry to hear this :( It's so hard no matter the time involved. Give yourself time to grieve - this is a huge loss. Hold on to your family and friends. I'll be sending good thoughts to you
    Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?

    Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...

    I AM MINE
  • good thing you found out now and were able to cut ties when you did -- as opposed to after marriage-kids etc. She's a dick. Enjoy your new found freedom my friend.
  • hls990hls990 Posts: 15
    thank you all it really helps. I'm glad that this community is so close, I dont have many friends that I can count on, and she was my shoulder. Youre all very helpful and I love you
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,426
    This really is a good extended family, hls. I hope the coming days find you closer to finding peace with this very hurtful situation. Good thoughts are going out for you. Keep us posted and remember there are a lot of really good people here who care! Best wishes.
    "Pretty cookies, heart squares all around, yeah!"
    -Eddie Vedder, "Smile"

    "Try to not spook the horse."
    -Neil Young













  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    most of all, leave her alone. don't contact her. you might think you are doing the right thing by trying to contact her or patch things up, but trust me, you should keep your distance right now. she knows what she did, and if it was an ongoing affair, chances are she does not feel bad about what she did, only that she got caught.

    Definitely listen to this^^^

    Sorry to hear about this...I've been through it too, it is hell...it will take "time." But you'll be fine, and I'll bet you meet a much better lady down the road. Much better.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • ComeToTXComeToTX Austin Posts: 7,872
    Sucks, people can be fucking awful. I'm happy to have found one of the good ones. Rare, I know but they are out there. Keep looking.
    This show, another show, a show here and a show there.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    ComeToTX wrote:
    Sucks, people can be fucking awful. I'm happy to have found one of the good ones. Rare, I know but they are out there. Keep looking.
    This is true. And, try to allow yourself the time and space to feel all you're going through...to grieve / mourn the end of the relationship, and know that you're deserving of someone who will treat you well, and with respect.
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 St. Fuckin Louis Posts: 23,303
    hedonist wrote:
    ComeToTX wrote:
    Sucks, people can be fucking awful. I'm happy to have found one of the good ones. Rare, I know but they are out there. Keep looking.
    This is true. And, try to allow yourself the time and space to feel all you're going through...to grieve / mourn the end of the relationship, and know that you're deserving of someone who will treat you well, and with respect.
    ^^^^ +1

    don't bottle things up.

    i know she was comfortable for you and you are in an uncomfortable position right now since she was your best friend. but you will grow as a person after all of this. heartbreak has a funny way of making us stronger and better people. if you can get through this you can get through anything. unfortunately she is going to continue to be who she is. you can become something better. i am proof of that.
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,275
    Claireack wrote:
    Sorry to hear this :(
    +1
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
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