How about a joke ?

Godfather.

I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few . . .

I noticed two quite large women by the bar. They both had strong accents,
so I asked, "Hey, are
you two ladies from Scotland?"

One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

So I immediately apologized. I said, "Sorry . . . . are you two whales
from Scotland?"

That's the last thing I remember.

chadwick

that's pretty funny for a ted nugent fan

speaking of you and ted
let's create a ted and godfather comedy jokefest

ted says to godfather, "think you can shoot my Fred Bear recurve bow buck ass naked or in my used sweaty ass loin cloth from the 70's?"
godfather tells ted, "is the teenager i am shooting at dressed as a zebra, wolf, or hippy pot user minding to their own concerns?"
ted says, " shoot everything, godfather, shoot everything"
godfather says, "gimmie your big badass sweaty loin cloth, sir, i am all over these targets" as godfather pulls the bow string back
ted says, "you can't eat hippy pot smokers like you can zebras or wolves"
godfather says, "fuck you can't uncle ted! the fuck you can't! i eat hippy pot users all day long, ted"
ted says, "holy shit, sir! you are meaner than a rattle snake with a limp john roger"
godfather says, "haha... my good man my john roger aint been limp in 17 and a 1/2 years"
ted says, "i do like em young"

the end

arq

chadwick wrote:

that's pretty funny for a ted nugent fan

speaking of you and ted
let's create a ted and godfather comedy jokefest

ted says to godfather, "think you can shoot my Fred Bear recurve bow buck ass naked or in my used sweaty ass loin cloth from the 70's?"
godfather tells ted, "is the teenager i am shooting at dressed as a zebra, wolf, or hippy pot user minding to their own concerns?"
ted says, " shoot everything, godfather, shoot everything"
godfather says, "gimmie your big badass sweaty loin cloth, sir, i am all over these targets" as godfather pulls the bow string back
ted says, "you can't eat hippy pot smokers like you can zebras or wolves"
godfather says, "fuck you can't uncle ted! the fuck you can't! i eat hippy pot users all day long, ted"
ted says, "holy shit, sir! you are meaner than a rattle snake with a limp john roger"
godfather says, "haha... my good man my john roger aint been limp in 17 and a 1/2 years"
ted says, "i do like em young"

the end

WTF I just read :?

chadwick

it's called on the spot thinking up a joke for the thread. didn't claim it was fantastic or anything, it is just what it is.

hedonist

Godfather, you might want to re-think that one.

I get that humor is subjective, but really? Not very nice.

stargirl69

Godfather. wrote:

That's the last thing I remember.

It really would be the last thing you remember if you ever said that to any Scottish women

:twisted: :nono:

hedonist

stargirl69 wrote:

Godfather. wrote:

That's the last thing I remember.

It really would be the last thing you remember if you ever said that to any Scottish women

:twisted: :nono:

stargirl69

hedonist wrote:

stargirl69 wrote:

Godfather. wrote:

That's the last thing I remember.

It really would be the last thing you remember if you ever said that to any Scottish women

:twisted: :nono:

and that's no joke

mysticweed

my three elderly aunts were sitting on a bench in the park
a flasher walked right up to them and exposed himself
poor aunt gertrude immediately had a stroke
then aunt maude had a stroke
but poor aunt tillie
couldn't reach that far

Byrnzie

chadwick wrote:

that's pretty funny for a ted nugent fan

speaking of you and ted
let's create a ted and godfather comedy jokefest

ted says to godfather, "think you can shoot my Fred Bear recurve bow buck ass naked or in my used sweaty ass loin cloth from the 70's?"
godfather tells ted, "is the teenager i am shooting at dressed as a zebra, wolf, or hippy pot user minding to their own concerns?"
ted says, " shoot everything, godfather, shoot everything"
godfather says, "gimmie your big badass sweaty loin cloth, sir, i am all over these targets" as godfather pulls the bow string back
ted says, "you can't eat hippy pot smokers like you can zebras or wolves"
godfather says, "fuck you can't uncle ted! the fuck you can't! i eat hippy pot users all day long, ted"
ted says, "holy shit, sir! you are meaner than a rattle snake with a limp john roger"
godfather says, "haha... my good man my john roger aint been limp in 17 and a 1/2 years"
ted says, "i do like em young"

the end

Although 'John Roger'? I thought it was 'John Thomas'?

hedonist

mysticweed wrote:

my three elderly aunts were sitting on a bench in the park
a flasher walked right up to them and exposed himself
poor aunt gertrude immediately had a stroke
then aunt maude had a stroke
but poor aunt tillie
couldn't reach that far

Made me smile!

stargirl69

mysticweed wrote:

my three elderly aunts were sitting on a bench in the park
a flasher walked right up to them and exposed himself
poor aunt gertrude immediately had a stroke
then aunt maude had a stroke
but poor aunt tillie
couldn't reach that far

This is how to tell a joke

Godfather.

chadwick wrote:

it's called on the spot thinking up a joke for the thread. didn't claim it was fantastic or anything, it is just what it is.

stick to poetry my friend it's where you shine.

Godfather.

Godfather.

stargirl69 wrote:

Godfather. wrote:

That's the last thing I remember.

It really would be the last thing you remember if you ever said that to any Scottish women

:twisted: :nono:

I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few . . .

I noticed two quite large women by the bar. They both had strong oders,
so I asked, "Hey, are
you two ladies from san diego ?

One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

So I immediately apologized. I said, "Sorry . . . . are you two whales
from san diego

That's the last thing I remember.

better ?


Godfather.