My feelings are valid
gumby812
Posts: 53
Okay, I've spent the last three months in India, and for me personally it might be the hardest three months I've had to deal with. The first part that I feel is the hardest is the heartache. In America I am no where near rich, and the scant moneys that I have come across have been spent here at this sight under the goods section. Sometimes i go over my history and shake my head, but I know there are others of you out there that have spent way more. And the poverty here in India is just staggering. It breaks my heart to know deep down (even in my perceived poverty) that they don't have a shot in hell of getting out of it. In the land of supposed enlightenment there are people barley scrapping to get by, and the banner they wave and subsequently hide behind is that they don't need "things" they are spiritual.
Next comes the general sanitation. There is none, but if you go to Delhi, Agra, or Jaipur it's hidden. i don't know where they are hiding the shit, but let me tell you it's out there; plastic bags, dippers, plastic bottles, and any other non-reusable items you can think of are piled high just waiting to be blown into the sea.
Which brings us to the next concept, the water. It's black most of the time, unless of course you are at the beach, then it is brown, and if you go out far enough you can see what i call the poop barrier. It's a brown line that separates green seawater to the poop infested brown water. If you could please explain to me how black water is more spiritual than usable water? This would help me a great deal. I know America's water ways aren't super usable, but in a pinch you could drink it and not die of dysentery, maybe. At the very least at least you can commune with nature by looking at it, not sick to your stomach, and certainly disgusted by looking at it.
So, why is the title my feelings are valid, because if I were to post this on facebook, and have hinted at such. I receive an onslaught of things like: You are there, enjoy it, you went there by choice suck it up, you have such a great opportunity quit your bitchin'. I think the point I might be suggesting in this long winded pointless self-interested deluge is fuck man, I can feel however the fuck I want to.
And here is another point. I just in an over arching way tend to not like people. Oh, I have friends, and I make friends, it's just it's rare. I pick the good ones, the one that linger a bit. So, when it comes time to meet my roommate of four months, and loath her from the start. Now, you might say that you need to giver her a chance! I did three months worth and I tell you I like her less than when i simply had met her and loathed her. To be honest I'm a man that really is water. I do get shit on quite a bit, but hey my life is all in all pretty smooth. I like it that way besides shit usually washes off. But the kicker is I explain to her I'm not one to enjoy eating at other people's houses, her telling me to get over it. I really can't tell you when that started, or what the catalyst was that has sent me in this direction, (honestly I think its that awkward moment when I try to leave and I can't for what ever reason) but that is how I am and i feel. I think that is note worthy.
Which brings me to the point. Through out my life I have been told I think too much, or that my want for my friends and how they live their life (living their life as to be successful artists, or musicians and what not) is really none of my concern. I think it is. I want all my friends to do great things. That is all I have strived to do in my life is put my self in positions where I do and see great things. However, this does not mean I have to like what I see, and it does not mean that what I see and how it makes me feel should be dictated by those who know not of my past or the present.
Moreover, since I think too much, I feel that my feelings are valued, because I don't go off half cocked at them. I ponder them weigh them, and most of all try to see every angle out there. It's like a Pearl Jam album, they put their heart into it. Whether we like the Album or not it is what it is, and I think that is valid... as in the title.
Next comes the general sanitation. There is none, but if you go to Delhi, Agra, or Jaipur it's hidden. i don't know where they are hiding the shit, but let me tell you it's out there; plastic bags, dippers, plastic bottles, and any other non-reusable items you can think of are piled high just waiting to be blown into the sea.
Which brings us to the next concept, the water. It's black most of the time, unless of course you are at the beach, then it is brown, and if you go out far enough you can see what i call the poop barrier. It's a brown line that separates green seawater to the poop infested brown water. If you could please explain to me how black water is more spiritual than usable water? This would help me a great deal. I know America's water ways aren't super usable, but in a pinch you could drink it and not die of dysentery, maybe. At the very least at least you can commune with nature by looking at it, not sick to your stomach, and certainly disgusted by looking at it.
So, why is the title my feelings are valid, because if I were to post this on facebook, and have hinted at such. I receive an onslaught of things like: You are there, enjoy it, you went there by choice suck it up, you have such a great opportunity quit your bitchin'. I think the point I might be suggesting in this long winded pointless self-interested deluge is fuck man, I can feel however the fuck I want to.
And here is another point. I just in an over arching way tend to not like people. Oh, I have friends, and I make friends, it's just it's rare. I pick the good ones, the one that linger a bit. So, when it comes time to meet my roommate of four months, and loath her from the start. Now, you might say that you need to giver her a chance! I did three months worth and I tell you I like her less than when i simply had met her and loathed her. To be honest I'm a man that really is water. I do get shit on quite a bit, but hey my life is all in all pretty smooth. I like it that way besides shit usually washes off. But the kicker is I explain to her I'm not one to enjoy eating at other people's houses, her telling me to get over it. I really can't tell you when that started, or what the catalyst was that has sent me in this direction, (honestly I think its that awkward moment when I try to leave and I can't for what ever reason) but that is how I am and i feel. I think that is note worthy.
Which brings me to the point. Through out my life I have been told I think too much, or that my want for my friends and how they live their life (living their life as to be successful artists, or musicians and what not) is really none of my concern. I think it is. I want all my friends to do great things. That is all I have strived to do in my life is put my self in positions where I do and see great things. However, this does not mean I have to like what I see, and it does not mean that what I see and how it makes me feel should be dictated by those who know not of my past or the present.
Moreover, since I think too much, I feel that my feelings are valued, because I don't go off half cocked at them. I ponder them weigh them, and most of all try to see every angle out there. It's like a Pearl Jam album, they put their heart into it. Whether we like the Album or not it is what it is, and I think that is valid... as in the title.
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