Friend/Ex Co-Worker Succombs to Brain Cancer Aged 30
davidtrios
Posts: 9,732
My friend died last night from brain cancer. He had been battling since October. Despite the fact that it was very aggressive, his girl married him anyway. She was always by his side.
At their wedding in November, Frank was pale, haggred and weak. His hair freshly shaved from one of the many surgeries he endured. His new wife couldn't be happier on their special occasion. She was there, next to him, by his side.
The later stages of his disease, they were desperate to try anything including experimental drugs that ended up causing irreversible delirium. Despite this gloomy outlook, Courtney was there for him.
She never ran away, she never let him down. She was there for her ailing husband until the very end. That end occured last night.
"Love them while they're here"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cdLSYjKpzA#t=5m04s
I got an email from Courtney a few mins ago that said: Frank is gone
His wife's previous email about Frank's health (dated 3/28).
:
> The good news is that they extubated Frank on Sunday evening. He was
> quite lucid, able to talk and have conversations with us. Monday
> morning he was still talking - answering questions appropriately and
> with quicker responses than we have seen in him since this all began
> at Christmas. I was relieved that he was coming around - and without
> having had any pain meds in a few days, we were definitely seeing him
> come out of the fog that he has been in. He also was talking about
> computer programs that we use at work, told me where I might be able
> to find his passwords, and showed interest in watching tv and
> listening to stories. It was incredibly encouraging.
>
> Monday afternoon and early evening, I started noticing that Frank was
> having conversations with himself... and moving his arms around like
> he was working on something. Now, Frank didn't sleep at all on
> Saturday night, was out for the endoscopy on Sunday, but didn't sleep
> Sunday night either. So, the only sleep he had gotten at this point
> was for the procedure.... his speech got kind of slurred - all signs
> of extreme fatigue from not sleeping. All of the doctors agreed to
> move him out of the ICU as he was no longer critical and his pneumonia
> had cleared... though they then found that he has tracheal bronchitis.
>
> Even though he was sleepy and talking like he was half in a dream
> state, if you woke him, he could talk to you normally. They moved him
> to the 9th floor in the cancer area to be monitored. Monday night
> they noticed he might be feeling pain and gave him some roxanol twice
> within an hour of each other. Monday morning we found that he had
> finally slept, which was good... but he wasn't waking up. It appeared
> that he was back to his 'drugged up' state. We thought perhaps he
> just needed to have time to let the roxanol wear off so that he could
> go back to being the way he was on Sunday and Monday. The PT/OT that
> saw him on Monday were shocked at the change in his mental status on
> Tuesday.
>
> This morning when I arrived, I had high hopes for him being back to
> normal, as it had been 24 hours since his last dose of roxanol (they
> switched him to liquid tylenol). He did say 'hi' when I got close to
> wake him as I walked in... but hasn't been very responsive at all
> since. When the palliative care team came in to see him, we spent
> some time talking about his change in mental status and what it could
> mean. The fact that he was completely lucid on Sunday/Monday and not
> Tuesday/Today lends itself to the fact that his mental status doesn't
> have to do with his cancer. That said, they are fairly certain that
> he is suffering from hypoactive delirium. In hindsight, which is
> always 20/20.... if he actually has this - it explains everything that
> has happened since January 2, and possibly his mental breakdown on
> Christmas Eve.
>
> Although delirium is reversible with treatment, the fact that he has
> been suffering from this for so long is not good. Now that we know
> and can start treating him for the issues he is having, we might be
> able to stabilize his ups and downs and keep him on a path to
> recovery. That said, delirium significantly increases the chances
> that he will die in the next year. I am not sure if our diligence has
> kept him alive this long and that because he is being carefully
> monitored it might change his outcome, but until they figure out what
> caused the mental state in the first place, it can't be fixed. So, we
> just have to keep trying to get him stronger (very hard when he is
> basically comatose... which is the cause of the high mortality rate).
>
> Anyway - we just keep trying our best. The good news is that he was
> able to show us that he CAN be more lucid and come back to us if this
> is dealt with and treated - and that we are doing the right thing in
> fighting for him. I get very concerned that I keep trying to fix him
> when it isn't what he wants or would want if he could choose for
> himself. In no way do I want to prolong some sort of torture for him.
> On Sunday we actually discussed how I had gotten rid of our cable and
> which car we should sell so we can go down to one car payment - he was
> actively participating in the conversations... not just listening. On
> Monday when he said he was hungry and he really would like some
> eggs... I thought I was going to fall over (there were tears).
>
> I am hanging in there... hoping we can get him back to normal, and
> show everyone how strong he is. Like the neuro-oncologist told us on
> Friday, the trouble with treating cancer so aggressively is that the
> treatment can kill you before the disease is better. Hopefully Frank
> is not one of those people, and we can get him to the point where the
> radiation will have worked - and get him back mentally.
>
> love,
> Courtney
At their wedding in November, Frank was pale, haggred and weak. His hair freshly shaved from one of the many surgeries he endured. His new wife couldn't be happier on their special occasion. She was there, next to him, by his side.
The later stages of his disease, they were desperate to try anything including experimental drugs that ended up causing irreversible delirium. Despite this gloomy outlook, Courtney was there for him.
She never ran away, she never let him down. She was there for her ailing husband until the very end. That end occured last night.
"Love them while they're here"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cdLSYjKpzA#t=5m04s
I got an email from Courtney a few mins ago that said: Frank is gone
His wife's previous email about Frank's health (dated 3/28).
:> The good news is that they extubated Frank on Sunday evening. He was
> quite lucid, able to talk and have conversations with us. Monday
> morning he was still talking - answering questions appropriately and
> with quicker responses than we have seen in him since this all began
> at Christmas. I was relieved that he was coming around - and without
> having had any pain meds in a few days, we were definitely seeing him
> come out of the fog that he has been in. He also was talking about
> computer programs that we use at work, told me where I might be able
> to find his passwords, and showed interest in watching tv and
> listening to stories. It was incredibly encouraging.
>
> Monday afternoon and early evening, I started noticing that Frank was
> having conversations with himself... and moving his arms around like
> he was working on something. Now, Frank didn't sleep at all on
> Saturday night, was out for the endoscopy on Sunday, but didn't sleep
> Sunday night either. So, the only sleep he had gotten at this point
> was for the procedure.... his speech got kind of slurred - all signs
> of extreme fatigue from not sleeping. All of the doctors agreed to
> move him out of the ICU as he was no longer critical and his pneumonia
> had cleared... though they then found that he has tracheal bronchitis.
>
> Even though he was sleepy and talking like he was half in a dream
> state, if you woke him, he could talk to you normally. They moved him
> to the 9th floor in the cancer area to be monitored. Monday night
> they noticed he might be feeling pain and gave him some roxanol twice
> within an hour of each other. Monday morning we found that he had
> finally slept, which was good... but he wasn't waking up. It appeared
> that he was back to his 'drugged up' state. We thought perhaps he
> just needed to have time to let the roxanol wear off so that he could
> go back to being the way he was on Sunday and Monday. The PT/OT that
> saw him on Monday were shocked at the change in his mental status on
> Tuesday.
>
> This morning when I arrived, I had high hopes for him being back to
> normal, as it had been 24 hours since his last dose of roxanol (they
> switched him to liquid tylenol). He did say 'hi' when I got close to
> wake him as I walked in... but hasn't been very responsive at all
> since. When the palliative care team came in to see him, we spent
> some time talking about his change in mental status and what it could
> mean. The fact that he was completely lucid on Sunday/Monday and not
> Tuesday/Today lends itself to the fact that his mental status doesn't
> have to do with his cancer. That said, they are fairly certain that
> he is suffering from hypoactive delirium. In hindsight, which is
> always 20/20.... if he actually has this - it explains everything that
> has happened since January 2, and possibly his mental breakdown on
> Christmas Eve.
>
> Although delirium is reversible with treatment, the fact that he has
> been suffering from this for so long is not good. Now that we know
> and can start treating him for the issues he is having, we might be
> able to stabilize his ups and downs and keep him on a path to
> recovery. That said, delirium significantly increases the chances
> that he will die in the next year. I am not sure if our diligence has
> kept him alive this long and that because he is being carefully
> monitored it might change his outcome, but until they figure out what
> caused the mental state in the first place, it can't be fixed. So, we
> just have to keep trying to get him stronger (very hard when he is
> basically comatose... which is the cause of the high mortality rate).
>
> Anyway - we just keep trying our best. The good news is that he was
> able to show us that he CAN be more lucid and come back to us if this
> is dealt with and treated - and that we are doing the right thing in
> fighting for him. I get very concerned that I keep trying to fix him
> when it isn't what he wants or would want if he could choose for
> himself. In no way do I want to prolong some sort of torture for him.
> On Sunday we actually discussed how I had gotten rid of our cable and
> which car we should sell so we can go down to one car payment - he was
> actively participating in the conversations... not just listening. On
> Monday when he said he was hungry and he really would like some
> eggs... I thought I was going to fall over (there were tears).
>
> I am hanging in there... hoping we can get him back to normal, and
> show everyone how strong he is. Like the neuro-oncologist told us on
> Friday, the trouble with treating cancer so aggressively is that the
> treatment can kill you before the disease is better. Hopefully Frank
> is not one of those people, and we can get him to the point where the
> radiation will have worked - and get him back mentally.
>
> love,
> Courtney
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
Do take care
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Fuck you Cancer ......
.
05/07/10 Noblesville, IN
09/03/11 Alpine Valley, WI
09/04/11 Alpine Valley, WI
I'm sorry you lost your friend
Peace.
Libtardaplorable©. And proud of it.
Brilliantati©
It is heartening to know that there are devoted people out there for sure. For every person that fails you and leaves you at the depths, there are thankfully those who stick by you through thick and thin.
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
so sorry for your loss.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
if you can, hug your wife, your fiancee, gf, bf, husband or your best friends and family and pray they won't let you down in good times or in bad.
My condolences to you, her, and everyone that knew and loved Frank. :(
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Courtney sounds like an amazing woman.... actually amazing doesn't even begin to explain her character. I hope that she remains strong. Bless her.
I am so sorry for your loss. May he be in peace. Courtney sounds like an amazing woman--someone to aspire to.