It's been over 6 months

davidtrios

since my heart was ripped out of my chest. All of my hopes and dreams left on the side of the road. i try to fill the void by being with other women, trying to feel better by spending time with other girls...meaningless b.s sex, meaningless stupid convos, killing time/wasting time...nothing helps. i hang out with friends, try to drink it away, try to forget...nothing works...fml

unlost dogs

Wow.

I don't know what to say... except maybe work on being comfortable by yourself before you try to move on to someone else?

That helped me a long time ago.

I wish you peace.

perfectlefts14

Hang in there bro! We've all been there at some point, things will get better with time. Keep your head up!

Claireack

Ditto to what Unlost said.

Lizard

sorry about that davidtrios.


Hope things get brighter soon.............

brianlux

I also agree with what unlost dogs said, davidtrios. When I experienced huge heartbreak several years ago I was advised by a close friend to take time to become more confident in myself- to not look to someone else to define who I am, to be more strong within myself. Once I learned how to do that I found myself ready to be in a relationship again- and a much, much healthier one at that.

Meanwhile, my best wishes go out to you. Heartbreak is a heavy thing and you have lots of support here. That's one of the things that makes this forum a great place.

Hang in there, man.

USARAY

6 months is barely time to heal
and for some people it's never ok to be alone, accept that if it's you and keep looking man,
brighter days will come.like sunshine one day she will be there.

Indifference71

perfectlefts14 wrote:

Hang in there bro! We've all been there at some point, things will get better with time. Keep your head up!

This sums it up pretty well. Nothing you can do but give it time.

Leezestarr313

Hugs to you, davidtrios! Stuff like that needs time. It sounds cheesy, but time is a healer. And everybody heals different. Take your pace and don't force yourself into stuff that is not worth it. Don't just paint something new over the memories, but reflect. Treat yourself good, spend time with your friends. Hang in there, it will be better eventually. It took me almost 6 years to overcome my fucked-up 7-year relationship :roll: It was torture at times, but I obviously needed that time. And now I couldn't be happier...

The good thing is - it's SPRING

themessenger

I understand, I had my heart ripped out Summer 2010 and nothing has helped but time. I dated a few girls since then but my heart was never fully into it and I'm always afraid of being hurt now. The last 2 months I've really focused on myself, tried some new things, been more outgoing and reaching out to old friends and people in general more and I'm finally about at the level where I was. I hate that I let a girl do that to me but it's an unfortunate part of life sometimes.

Hang in there and surround yourself with good and positive people, that's been the best medicine for me.

Leezestarr313

Music helps, too ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYKUPb-x-EU

drinkbigredinstead

:(

chadwick

can you get her back?

catefrances

chadwick wrote:

can you get her back?

why... so she can do the same thing to him again???

amethgr8

it's hard to stop trying to move on. sometimes you have to give into the idea that you can't, consciously move on or make yourself move on. love comes in deep and true and it doesn't go away easily. your feelings have to move on, on their own.

life comes with expectations. it's good to have goals, but expectations do us in sometimes. expecting people to react they way we think they will.

let your mind and your love for life lead you into the future. your love for her may never fully heal. all loves are different. you may even be different than you were 6 months ago.

we get an idea of what true love is, from someone we fell in love with. when that doesn't work out, we go on looking for that same feeling and when we don't find it, we think it was only with a certain one. loving someone is a individual, intimate and very personal thing. no two humans are alike, then how can we expect to have the same feeling of love for someone completely different?

surround yourself with people that love you and hope that love will find you someday. it will if your mind and heart are open to a new shape.

PKTrekGirl

Leezestarr313 wrote:

Hugs to you, davidtrios! Stuff like that needs time. It sounds cheesy, but time is a healer. And everybody heals different. Take your pace and don't force yourself into stuff that is not worth it. Don't just paint something new over the memories, but reflect. Treat yourself good, spend time with your friends. Hang in there, it will be better eventually. It took me almost 6 years to overcome my fucked-up 7-year relationship :roll: It was torture at times, but I obviously needed that time. And now I couldn't be happier...

The good thing is - it's SPRING

This is good advice too. Lots of good advice in this thread.

I haven't been in a relationship in a long time (about 4 years) because the last one ended so horribly, and I didn't trust myself afterward to pick men wisely....and couldn't face being hurt that badly ever again. At times, I still don't trust myself...which is why I'm not actively looking around. I'm trying to pretend that it's not important to me...but of course it is. I just don't think that I've picked very well in the past, and will now do about anything to avoid that level of heartbreak.

I still believe that time is the key though. It took me the first couple of years just to get past the anger. Now, it's not much about him anymore - I'm LONG over him. But I'm not so much over myself, and how stupid I was to get involved with this guy to begin with. That bit of the equation is taking longer to get past.

Bottom line is that there is no substitute for time. And however long it takes you is however long it takes you.

Good luck. I wish you all the best!!!!

Stone Is God

It's amazing to see how many people have been or are going through something like this. I thought I was the only one. My wife of 3 years came home a couple Fridays ago and told me it was over. I've never been so crushed over something in my life. The last 10 days have been miserable.

The thing that has got me through, though, is the support from friends (long lost ones) and family. It's hard to think I'll ever be able to move on but everyone tells me time will heal up the scar and I'll be able to move forward. If you surround yourself with good people to lean on it helps you through.

In my case, I'm going to take a little bit of time to focus on work, paying bills and studies. You just have to focus on the future of your life and that's what I'm trying to do.

catefrances

Stone Is God wrote:

It's amazing to see how many people have been or are going through something like this. I thought I was the only one. My wife of 3 years came home a couple Fridays ago and told me it was over. I've never been so crushed over something in my life. The last 10 days have been miserable.

The thing that has got me through, though, is the support from friends (long lost ones) and family. It's hard to think I'll ever be able to move on but everyone tells me time will heal up the scar and I'll be able to move forward. If you surround yourself with good people to lean on it helps you through.

In my case, I'm going to take a little bit of time to focus on work, paying bills and studies. You just have to focus on the future of your life and that's what I'm trying to do.

was there an inkling that this would happen??

Stone Is God

catefrances wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

It's amazing to see how many people have been or are going through something like this. I thought I was the only one. My wife of 3 years came home a couple Fridays ago and told me it was over. I've never been so crushed over something in my life. The last 10 days have been miserable.

The thing that has got me through, though, is the support from friends (long lost ones) and family. It's hard to think I'll ever be able to move on but everyone tells me time will heal up the scar and I'll be able to move forward. If you surround yourself with good people to lean on it helps you through.

In my case, I'm going to take a little bit of time to focus on work, paying bills and studies. You just have to focus on the future of your life and that's what I'm trying to do.

was there an inkling that this would happen??

I was completely and totally blind sided. We had our issues in the past but nothing we hadn't worked out. She was real unhappy with my attitude 6 months ago and I made the effort to change and try a different path. I offered up marriage counseling but she didn't want to go back then. She told me that once she had doubt about us she couldn't remove it and instead of letting me know, she buried for all this time and it came up 2 weeks ago. I really never had a chance and that's the part that sucks. I've never been so disappointed in someone and my judging of someone in my life.

catefrances

Stone Is God wrote:

catefrances wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

It's amazing to see how many people have been or are going through something like this. I thought I was the only one. My wife of 3 years came home a couple Fridays ago and told me it was over. I've never been so crushed over something in my life. The last 10 days have been miserable.

The thing that has got me through, though, is the support from friends (long lost ones) and family. It's hard to think I'll ever be able to move on but everyone tells me time will heal up the scar and I'll be able to move forward. If you surround yourself with good people to lean on it helps you through.

In my case, I'm going to take a little bit of time to focus on work, paying bills and studies. You just have to focus on the future of your life and that's what I'm trying to do.

was there an inkling that this would happen??

I was completely and totally blind sided. We had our issues in the past but nothing we hadn't worked out. She was real unhappy with my attitude 6 months ago and I made the effort to change and try a different path. I offered up marriage counseling but she didn't want to go back then. She told me that once she had doubt about us she couldn't remove it and instead of letting me know, she buried for all this time and it came up 2 weeks ago. I really never had a chance and that's the part that sucks. I've never been so disappointed in someone and my judging of someone in my life.

so what happened 2 weeks ago for it to come up i wonder. perhaps she thought the effort you were making wasnt enough??

PKTrekGirl

Stone Is God wrote:

I was completely and totally blind sided. We had our issues in the past but nothing we hadn't worked out. She was real unhappy with my attitude 6 months ago and I made the effort to change and try a different path. I offered up marriage counseling but she didn't want to go back then. She told me that once she had doubt about us she couldn't remove it and instead of letting me know, she buried for all this time and it came up 2 weeks ago. I really never had a chance and that's the part that sucks. I've never been so disappointed in someone and my judging of someone in my life.

Jeez...that's pretty tough - in particular the part I bolded. 6 months ago she had doubts, and then couldn't remove them on her own (without your input) so that was that? Wow....that's pretty harsh. I mean, unless you cheated on her, which it doesn't sound like you did. I mean, everyone has periods in life where their 'attitude' is not the best...but while if that goes unattended it might create doubts...it shouldn't continue to generate doubts once the 'attitude' has been sorted out....

That is really tough. Really tough.

Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing, focusing on getting your life together in areas that you can control - your bills, schooling, etc. That is a good way to move forward while your heart heals.

Good luck!