The wussification of America

drinkbigredinstead

Call it what you want - I use the term 'the wussification of America'.

My husband is a coach and both my boys play club sports so I'm around kids and their parents 7 days a week and you wouldn't believe the things I hear.

For one I'm sick of the 'we're here to have fun, winning doesn't matter' crap. Um no. My son is here to learn how to win and loose with good grace. He needs to be able to understand life isn't fair and be able to deal with it. If their team doesn't make the play offs they don't get a 'trophy for trying'. Yes my job is to teach these things but some things are better learned through experience.

Then last night at practice we were talking movies, and I mentioned the movie Goonies, jeez I thought this ladies head was going to explode. She started going on about what trash that movie was and she would never expose her children (these are 10 year old boys) to a movie that talked about sex and drugs. Really? Goonies? What about Alien, Poltergiest (the pot scene is one example) and last but not least Bad News Bears, a movie I doubt would make it to the theaters these days. Hell I remember sneaking into the my best friends older brothers room and watching Porkies on Beta. With the exception of Porkies my parents knew about all the movies mentioned above and took me and my friends to see a few.

Anyways - just my thoughts. I'd like to hear other 30 somethings thoughts too.

Mamasan23

30 years old here - but I don't have any kids so not sure if my opinion matters but I agree with you wholeheartedly. My problem with the whole 'there should be no winners or losers' thinking is that it's not preparing kids for real life. What's going to happen whey they apply to college or for a job? It's competitive and they need to be prepared for rejection. I think losing is healthy - it humbles people and makes them work harder next time. How can anyone be truly successful in life if they've never failed? Putting today's youth in a bubble is not doing them any favors at all.

RW81233

i could care less about winning and losing at that age either way but letting your kids watch those things can be great fun and great teaching moments about why they wouldn't be shown today (ie BNB).

DS1119

drinkbigredinstead wrote:

Call it what you want - I use the term 'the wussification of America'.

My husband is a coach and both my boys play club sports so I'm around kids and their parents 7 days a week and you wouldn't believe the things I hear.

For one I'm sick of the 'we're here to have fun, winning doesn't matter' crap. Um no. My son is here to learn how to win and loose with good grace. He needs to be able to understand life isn't fair and be able to deal with it. If their team doesn't make the play offs they don't get a 'trophy for trying'. Yes my job is to teach these things but some things are better learned through experience.

Then last night at practice we were talking movies, and I mentioned the movie Goonies, jeez I thought this ladies head was going to explode. She started going on about what trash that movie was and she would never expose her children (these are 10 year old boys) to a movie that talked about sex and drugs. Really? Goonies? What about Alien, Poltergiest (the pot scene is one example) and last but not least Bad News Bears, a movie I doubt would make it to the theaters these days. Hell I remember sneaking into the my best friends older brothers room and watching Porkies on Beta. With the exception of Porkies my parents knew about all the movies mentioned above and took me and my friends to see a few.

Anyways - just my thoughts. I'd like to hear other 30 somethings thoughts too.

+1

TheGhost

Does wussy=pussy? My opinion is that feminine traits are undervalued and macho posturing is overvalued. I hear what you're saying about over protective parents, though. I saw Porkies while we had a babysitter- it was awesome and I saw boobs!!

comebackgirl

helicopter parents are a pain in the ass. I have parents who want our counselors to give their kids a wake up call in the morning to remind them to go class. Are they shitting me??? Their kid is an adult and in college. If they can't get their ass out of bed and to class, they shouldn't be here. That's just one of the ridiculous requests we get. It's time for the kiddies to grow up and learn to be fully functioning adults. :roll:

Mamasan23

comebackgirl wrote:

helicopter parents are a pain in the ass. I have parents who want our counselors to give their kids a wake up call in the morning to remind them to go class. Are they shitting me??? Their kid is an adult and in college. If they can't get their ass out of bed and to class, they shouldn't be here. That's just one of the ridiculous requests we get. It's time for the kiddies to grow up and learn to be fully functioning adults. :roll:

:shock: yikes!

brianlux

comebackgirl wrote:

helicopter parents are a pain in the ass. I have parents who want our counselors to give their kids a wake up call in the morning to remind them to go class. Are they shitting me??? Their kid is an adult and in college. If they can't get their ass out of bed and to class, they shouldn't be here. That's just one of the ridiculous requests we get. It's time for the kiddies to grow up and learn to be fully functioning adults. :roll:

Yeah I agree though I also think in many cases its the not-fully functioning adults/parents who need to grow up and stop being kiddies so the kids will have a chance to do the same. And this is not a slam on parenting- it's one tough job. They bring you the greatest joy, the deepest sorrow.

As for winning/losing-- there seems to be a lot of cognitive dissonance around that one these days.

Wake up calls for college age kids? Pfffffffft Unbelievable. :roll:

ZiggyStar

I blame High School Musical

BinauralJam

ZiggyStar wrote:

I blame High School Musical

:shock: This is out of line, that is a excellent movie despite the lackluster performance from Vanessa Hudgens, Zack and Ashley deliver perfomances worthy of Travolta and Newton John!!!

youngster

Funny this comes up. Just last night I took the family out to eat at a local restaurant. My 4 year old wanted to play the claw game in the front by the door, you know the one where the big claw tries to grab the stuffed animals. I told him if he behaved and finished his dinner like a big boy then he could. He was great so after the meal I took him over and gave him a dollar which was good for 2 games. I told him how to work it and let him move/drop the claw. He did it twice and got nothing. He got a little upset and started getting mad that he didn't get a toy. I explained that you don't always win and it's a gamble. The hostess lady called us over and pulled out a stuffed bear from under the counter and tried to give it to him. I asked what that was for. She said, "Oh, we keep some of these under here cause we don't like to see kids get upset." I told her thanks but no thanks. Save it for someone else. My son needs to learn he can't win every time. He was pissed that I wouldn't allow him to have it but seemed to forget all about it by the time we were driving home.

I agree this society is going soft. I was raised by my dad who was born in 1938 and was in the Army during Vietnam. I will try to raise my kids the way he raised me. Life isn't always fair and nothing is ever free.

Yellow Ledbelly

This way of thinking drives me nuts. I'm sports editor at the local newspaper so I get a lot of the crap about sugarcoating losing. One high school football team set the state record for consecutive losses a few years back and it was unreal how those people were outraged at me for simply reporting it. One woman actually said why did u have to write that they've lost 68 games in a row??? I appreciate that those kids were trying and the coach and I remain good friends today but that doesn't change reality

81

it's bush's fault

Tom K

There is a transition between the "everybody is a winner and gets a trophy" phase to "there are winners and there are losers" phase. It usually happens when kids transfer into adolescents. (Elementary School into Middle/High School). Everyone isn't getting to be the Spelling Bee Champion or valedictorian or Division Champions or whatever. I think the "wussification" idea is an imaginary thing that adults like to believe in to feel that their generation is in some way superior to the current generation (the old "when I was your age I walked 4 miles to school.. blah blah blah blah" thing). That's just my opinion though.

hedonist

youngster wrote:

I was raised by my dad who was born in 1938 and was in the Army during Vietnam. I will try to raise my kids the way he raised me. Life isn't always fair and nothing is ever free.

Mine was born in 1922 and was in the Army during WWII.

Same lessons taught, and learned.

And practiced.

Kudos to both for passing them on.

Kudos to you for doing the same.

BinauralJam

Yellow Ledbelly wrote:

This way of thinking drives me nuts. I'm sports editor at the local newspaper so I get a lot of the crap about sugarcoating losing. One high school football team set the state record for consecutive losses a few years back and it was unreal how those people were outraged at me for simply reporting it. One woman actually said why did u have to write that they've lost 68 games in a row??? I appreciate that those kids were trying and the coach and I remain good friends today but that doesn't change reality

68

mysticweed

i agree with the op
trying to win
and
losing with grace
learning to be a good sport is a far better lesson than winning doesn't matter

"if less is more then how you keepin' score?"

Indifference71

drinkbigredinstead wrote:

Call it what you want - I use the term 'the wussification of America'.

My husband is a coach and both my boys play club sports so I'm around kids and their parents 7 days a week and you wouldn't believe the things I hear.

For one I'm sick of the 'we're here to have fun, winning doesn't matter' crap. Um no. My son is here to learn how to win and loose with good grace. He needs to be able to understand life isn't fair and be able to deal with it. If their team doesn't make the play offs they don't get a 'trophy for trying'. Yes my job is to teach these things but some things are better learned through experience.

Then last night at practice we were talking movies, and I mentioned the movie Goonies, jeez I thought this ladies head was going to explode. She started going on about what trash that movie was and she would never expose her children (these are 10 year old boys) to a movie that talked about sex and drugs. Really? Goonies? What about Alien, Poltergiest (the pot scene is one example) and last but not least Bad News Bears, a movie I doubt would make it to the theaters these days. Hell I remember sneaking into the my best friends older brothers room and watching Porkies on Beta. With the exception of Porkies my parents knew about all the movies mentioned above and took me and my friends to see a few.

Anyways - just my thoughts. I'd like to hear other 30 somethings thoughts too.

Our society is turning into the biggest bunch of pussies. Shit like this is why they are so many entitled little kids these days. It's ridiculous.

12345AGNST1

yes, americans are pussies.

I honestly couldnt give a shit about winning/losing as I couldnt give a shit about sports, but I agree with you completely.

Honestly, I think alot of it is because of the horrible stuff thats on TV, especially the crap on basic cable. Cheesy game shows, horrible sitcoms that havent been funny for years, generic drama shows, toy commercials brainwashing your kids to become spoiled little shits, and most of all, the stupid news channels that report the same garbage every day and use nothing but scare tactics over the most minute things. its dumbing down this country, and its like they do it on purpose. Call me crazy, but id rather have my kids watch "naughty" HBO or some "risque" show on the BBC. Atleast that stuff is quality and not generic trash.

Yellow Ledbelly

BinauralJam wrote:

Yellow Ledbelly wrote:

This way of thinking drives me nuts. I'm sports editor at the local newspaper so I get a lot of the crap about sugarcoating losing. One high school football team set the state record for consecutive losses a few years back and it was unreal how those people were outraged at me for simply reporting it. One woman actually said why did u have to write that they've lost 68 games in a row??? I appreciate that those kids were trying and the coach and I remain good friends today but that doesn't change reality

68

Oh man they were terrible. Thing is they broke it by beating another county school. The DOJ forced the consolidation of the school district last year but at that time the team the 68 game losers finally beat had lost 38 in a row....well on the way along the path of learning about hard knocks