At what age did you let your kids..?

Cradles Broken Glass

My son is seven and he wants to go over to a friend’s house. I am an acquaintance with the child’s mom, but I really do not know anything else about his family. I am sure that I am probably being overprotective. However, I feel that you cannot be too careful with your children. He has been invited to spend the night, but I have already ruled that out. I am sure it is probably just me being insane, but advice or thoughts would be helpful. Has anyone else faced this issue, what did you do? Also, if you decline, what is a tactful way? I already know I have to give a reason he cannot sleep over?

rick1zoo2

I would say that it all depends on how you feel about it, if you are comfortable with it. That is how I approach these situations with my kids. I will make the attempt to get to know the other family first, talk with them, etc. And if I am not ok with it, it doesn't happen.

Claireack

I live in a small town so if you didn't know anything about the parents you knew someone who did, that made it easier. Could you arrange a play date at a park or something where you could have coffe with the mum and get to know her a little? Could you take him round there and meet and get to know them like that?

If I wasn't sure about my son stopping over at someones house I used to get them to stop at ours instead, then chat to the parent who dropped them off or picked them up.

rick1zoo2

I was always amazed at other parents that would just drop their kids off for playdates or parties without at least checking in. Even now, they are older (11, 15, 17) when I take them somewhere, I go to the door so I can meet who they are hanging out with, the parents, and check out the home.

of.the.girl

It's funny that you bring this up because this has been coming up with my son recently as well. I only let him go to the friends houses I know well. Which helps because his circle of friends is not large. 9-10 boys and girls that have been in class together since they were in 4K and out of all them...there is not a family I don't know. We made it a point, us parents, to get to know each other and have playdates. Now, I wouldn't bat an eye if one of these friends would ask to have a playdate. But I would not allow sleep overs yet. I feel at 7 years old that is a little young for sleepovers. IMHO.

JTH

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

Also, if you decline, what is a tactful way? I already know I have to give a reason he cannot sleep over?

A tactful way? If you're just not comfortable with it yet, then tell them the truth. If they don't understand, then take it as a sign that you're making the right call.

We let my son's friend sleep over a few months ago. I believe he had just turned 8 and my son was just about to turn 8. But we know him and his family pretty well.

81

i was like 7 or 8 the first time i crashed at a friends house.....he lived right behind us tho.

peacefrompaul

I had sleepovers at my friends house when I was seven. My parents were okay with it! That's up to you whether to send your child over to their friends house. It's good for socialization but again, totally your call.

rick1zoo2

81 wrote:

i was like 7 or 8 the first time i crashed at a friends house.....he lived right behind us tho.

did they know you were there? how long did you stay? couple of years I'm guessing

81

rick1zoo2 wrote:

81 wrote:

i was like 7 or 8 the first time i crashed at a friends house.....he lived right behind us tho.

did they know you were there? how long did you stay? couple of years I'm guessing

two weeks.

Wma31394

Dont know the parents too well???? I would pass..theres sick people out there.

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Cradles Broken Glass

Wma31394 wrote:

Dont know the parents too well???? I would pass..theres sick people out there.

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Good idea. I guess I should add that his mom is a teacher, but that does not always mean much anymore (I know there has just recently been some really disturbing things happen in CA with a couple of teachers). I am acquainted with her b/c I sub at that school (hopping to get a job there), but I have no clue about his father or sibling.

RKCNDY

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

Wma31394 wrote:

Dont know the parents too well???? I would pass..theres sick people out there.

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Good idea. I guess I should add that his mom is a teacher, but that does not always mean much anymore (I know there has just recently been some really disturbing things happen in CA with a couple of teachers). I am acquainted with her b/c I sub at that school (hopping to get a job there), but I have no clue about his father or sibling.

well, you "know where she works" I think that's pretty solid.

I was in pre-school when I stayed the night at my friend's house...my mother worked with her dad...for the school district.

Johnny Abruzzo

I haven't been a parent for that long, but I figured out that the best thing to do is to follow my instincts.