Sociopaths; How to Deal?
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Does anyone else have a sociopath in their life? You know - manipulative, deceitful, lying, narcissistic, and HURTFUL?
I got a call from the police this morning because my ex-wife called them and said I was yelling at her and being "inappropriate" (whatever that means) when we exchanged custody of our son. Please know that I am not that type of person. She is pissed off because I filed criminal charges against her for stealing $1,506 from me last spring. I've given her eight months to repay it and haven't seen a dime, so that's why I gave her the ultimatum - pay or have a felony on your record.
Anyway, how do you deal with a sociopath? She's going to be in my life because we share a son together, so I can't just ditch the baggage.
It is easy to just say "be the better person" but when you have these events happening frequently, that is just masking the problem. What to do?
I got a call from the police this morning because my ex-wife called them and said I was yelling at her and being "inappropriate" (whatever that means) when we exchanged custody of our son. Please know that I am not that type of person. She is pissed off because I filed criminal charges against her for stealing $1,506 from me last spring. I've given her eight months to repay it and haven't seen a dime, so that's why I gave her the ultimatum - pay or have a felony on your record.
Anyway, how do you deal with a sociopath? She's going to be in my life because we share a son together, so I can't just ditch the baggage.
It is easy to just say "be the better person" but when you have these events happening frequently, that is just masking the problem. What to do?
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
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Pretty sure any law inforcement official will tell you to log every interaction - and - who was a witness to it, if anyone. EVERY interaction - drop-off, pick-up, chance meeting, phone call - be specific with all details. You won't likely have to do this for too long - 'cause when a situation you can disprove comes about - you can "burn" her - and hopefully she'll re-think how she conducts herself.
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Handle encounters with her in an cool and calm manner. Limit exsposure to her except when neccessary.
Keep a log and document date , time ,place, and her behavior/your response when you see her.
I guess just emotionally, it is tearing me up.
Your ex can throw all the accusations that she wants, but in a court of law none of that will hold up. I know it's hard, but for the sake of your child make the exchanges quick and just let it go in one ear and out the other. People like that love fuel for the fire and if you don't give any it should eventually burn out.
Good luck!
wow... how fucked. I can't imagine why someone would just say one day "hey, I think I'll tear someone down completely one day at a time with false accusations, hate, deceit, and public humiliation." then again, we're not sociopaths... so it isn't imaginable.
thanks for the kind words!
Children think they're parents behave correctly, parents are always right!
Small children will watch, listen, file away their parents behavior
deep in their subconscious. To replay at a later date.
I'm not sure of your childs age but I'll say 20 years from now
your child will be entering adult relationships with their behavior
based on what they learned from you and your wife/x-wife.
I know you would want good relationships for your child when they are an adult,
ones that are loving, forgiving, trusting, respectful and hopefully lasting.
So this must be your goal with your child's mother.
Now is not the time for pettiness, spitefulness nor revenge.
These are not qualities you would want in your child, I'm guessing.
It's not a time for who is right and who is wrong.
It's time for a united front for what is good for your child.
It's a time to come together to eliminate future baggage for your child.
In the big picture of life $1500 is nothing. Should you have filed a felony
charge against a woman you once loved dearly, against your child's mother?
In my opinion, no.
A sign of faith and goodwill would be to drop those charges
for your child's sake. To do everything in your power to be be respectful and
appreciate the mother of your child. This in turn should ease animosity,
this you do for your child because you are a good parent, the most important
role in life, one your child needs.
Can you control and change your x?
maybe not
but you can mold your child and their future to insure happiness.