Five Against One - A rock musical
Aki Tendo
Posts: 17
Fair warning - thing is going to go a little long.
When I was in college, back in 1999, I wrote out a play titled Five Against One based off of Vs. (and by no accident using the originally planned title of Vs. ) It was an uneven effort looking back, but had its moments and it got my an A in script writing class so I considered it a win. Over time I somehow lost all track of the copies of it and moved onto other projects. But about 2 months ago I, for reasons I don't quite understand, got the urge to rebuild the script - partly from memory, but also heavily revising it to incorporate music Pearl Jam has released in the interceding years (Yield was the newest album when I wrote the original).
Anyway, I have on my desk a first draft of the new version of the play. I've revised the storyline and characters and though the whole has come a long way. What I'd like to discuss in this thread is the approach that's being taken and get some feedback. Bear in mind this is largely a creative exercise, not a commercial one. I do not know when or if a production of this will ever be done though I am approaching it seriously so that it can be done. It's also an opportunity to see some of the songs of the band through a new lens.
I mean, it's one thing to do a cover of a song. It's quite another to create a character and have that song be song by a character, because the inflection of the character necessarily creates a new light on the music. This worries me somewhat because I wish to honor the original work without harming it. Yet in casting it to a new medium some adjustments must occur. It should go without saying that a musical is not a concert. I guess I should say that how the songs are used in the play is my interpretation. From the moment I first listened to Vs. I saw this story unfold. Now some 20 years later much of Vs. remains in the play - at 7 songs it contributes more to the play than any other album. The songs are (as of the most current draft).
Act I: Go, Not For You, Life Wasted, No Way, Garden, Daughter, Fatal, Nothing As it Seems, Faithful, Better man, Dissident, WMA
Act II: Blood, Brother, Parting Ways, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Sad, Deep, Nothingman, Rearviewmirror, Jeremy, Dead Man Walking, Just Breathe.
It is a story of 5 (Catherine, Christine, Ben, Jeremy) against one (Arthur) with a chorus in the ancient Greek style with 4 members, for a total of 10 actors. The overarching theme is domestic violence and the play is a statement against such.
Until the most recent draft I had retained all of the Vs. songs in their original order and only used songs from the other albums to flesh out the play to an expected runtime of 2 1/2 hours in two 75 minute acts. As can be seen above I broke with this to strengthen the story further.
The songs are intact, though action may be placed in front of the guitar solos and most are handled by multiple singers. "Go," opens the play on a fight between husband and wife - their screams at one another punctuated by the guitar rifts and drums. Other songs are broken between voices. And it should go without saying that any of the songs sung by one of the women of the play will (and should) sound quite different from Eddie's vocals.
While still a work in progress there are parts I'd like to share. I don't want to spoil too much of the play though (That said, there's a character named Jeremy and "Jeremy" is in the play list - I think we all know what happens to him). What I'm mainly looking for is an idea of where the boundaries are on how mutable the interpretation can be.
So here's an outtake from the play near the end of the first act. It is a dialog in two sonnets. Most of the play is is in iambic pentameter, but most of the time the lines are blank verse. Particularly poignant exchanges do rhyme however as in the example below. The two characters are Christine - aged 62 and her daughter Catherine - aged 36. Christine is attempting to convince Catherine that she should leave Arthur because his drunken rages are getting far too dangerous. This snippet features "Fatal" and note how Christine's answer reflects the song just before it is sung (Cat also alludes to "better man" which is sung later in the Act)
Fatal
{Unlike the studio album, we do not go immediately into the verses. Instead quietly play the first eight measures in a loop under these two monologues. Start very quietly with building strength. Speed should be slower than the Lost Dogs recording at first, building to the normal speed by the time singing commences}
CATHERINE
Please mom. We had this argument last night.
I'm sick of all this. I don't want to fight
Anymore. Not him, not you, anyone.
I mean, its my life isn't it? I'm done
With it. I don't want any more of it.
I want to run away but can't do it.
I'm just through with questions. What good are they?
He's not always like last night. He'll stop this.
One day he will stop drinking. I know this.
I have faith in him. I have to. I must.
If I let go, something inside will bust
To pieces. I must try. He's all I have.
There is no better man. He's all I have.
Besides, there are no answers anyway.
CHRISTINE
There are answers. The answers are fatal.
A part of you dies, the relationship dies,
Or he loses all control and you die.
Fear, Cat. I know fear. Fear, not love, is what
Drives you now. It's what drove me. I forgot
Myself, lost myself somehow. I tried, tried
To keep what was already lost. I died.
That was my choice. The answers are fatal.
When you question everything about life.
Even life. You die inside or the strife
Kills the will, Makes you numb to all the pain.
Open your eyes Cat. There's nothing to gain.
I learned this. When Frank died I understood.
Don't repeat my mistake. Please. He's no good.
CATHERINE
How good is he? How warm are his eyes?
You'll see it's not a reprise
Did he arrive too late and too tethered away
To put on his suit and his tie?
How good is he? How warm is his heart or ego, telling him which place to park?
Did he relate? The message is clearly, hardly grounds for dismissal
Outright... grounds for dismissal outright...
CHRISTINE
I wake up and wait up
When anger's in fashion
I wake up and wait up
It echoes through the mansions
I wake up and wait up
When April's in May, oh, uh-oh
I wake up and wait up
The answers are fatal
The answers are fatal
BOTH
I wake up and wait up
The answers are fatal
If he's truly out of sight, is he truly out of mind?
If he's truly out of sight...
When I was in college, back in 1999, I wrote out a play titled Five Against One based off of Vs. (and by no accident using the originally planned title of Vs. ) It was an uneven effort looking back, but had its moments and it got my an A in script writing class so I considered it a win. Over time I somehow lost all track of the copies of it and moved onto other projects. But about 2 months ago I, for reasons I don't quite understand, got the urge to rebuild the script - partly from memory, but also heavily revising it to incorporate music Pearl Jam has released in the interceding years (Yield was the newest album when I wrote the original).
Anyway, I have on my desk a first draft of the new version of the play. I've revised the storyline and characters and though the whole has come a long way. What I'd like to discuss in this thread is the approach that's being taken and get some feedback. Bear in mind this is largely a creative exercise, not a commercial one. I do not know when or if a production of this will ever be done though I am approaching it seriously so that it can be done. It's also an opportunity to see some of the songs of the band through a new lens.
I mean, it's one thing to do a cover of a song. It's quite another to create a character and have that song be song by a character, because the inflection of the character necessarily creates a new light on the music. This worries me somewhat because I wish to honor the original work without harming it. Yet in casting it to a new medium some adjustments must occur. It should go without saying that a musical is not a concert. I guess I should say that how the songs are used in the play is my interpretation. From the moment I first listened to Vs. I saw this story unfold. Now some 20 years later much of Vs. remains in the play - at 7 songs it contributes more to the play than any other album. The songs are (as of the most current draft).
Act I: Go, Not For You, Life Wasted, No Way, Garden, Daughter, Fatal, Nothing As it Seems, Faithful, Better man, Dissident, WMA
Act II: Blood, Brother, Parting Ways, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Sad, Deep, Nothingman, Rearviewmirror, Jeremy, Dead Man Walking, Just Breathe.
It is a story of 5 (Catherine, Christine, Ben, Jeremy) against one (Arthur) with a chorus in the ancient Greek style with 4 members, for a total of 10 actors. The overarching theme is domestic violence and the play is a statement against such.
Until the most recent draft I had retained all of the Vs. songs in their original order and only used songs from the other albums to flesh out the play to an expected runtime of 2 1/2 hours in two 75 minute acts. As can be seen above I broke with this to strengthen the story further.
The songs are intact, though action may be placed in front of the guitar solos and most are handled by multiple singers. "Go," opens the play on a fight between husband and wife - their screams at one another punctuated by the guitar rifts and drums. Other songs are broken between voices. And it should go without saying that any of the songs sung by one of the women of the play will (and should) sound quite different from Eddie's vocals.
While still a work in progress there are parts I'd like to share. I don't want to spoil too much of the play though (That said, there's a character named Jeremy and "Jeremy" is in the play list - I think we all know what happens to him). What I'm mainly looking for is an idea of where the boundaries are on how mutable the interpretation can be.
So here's an outtake from the play near the end of the first act. It is a dialog in two sonnets. Most of the play is is in iambic pentameter, but most of the time the lines are blank verse. Particularly poignant exchanges do rhyme however as in the example below. The two characters are Christine - aged 62 and her daughter Catherine - aged 36. Christine is attempting to convince Catherine that she should leave Arthur because his drunken rages are getting far too dangerous. This snippet features "Fatal" and note how Christine's answer reflects the song just before it is sung (Cat also alludes to "better man" which is sung later in the Act)
Fatal
{Unlike the studio album, we do not go immediately into the verses. Instead quietly play the first eight measures in a loop under these two monologues. Start very quietly with building strength. Speed should be slower than the Lost Dogs recording at first, building to the normal speed by the time singing commences}
CATHERINE
Please mom. We had this argument last night.
I'm sick of all this. I don't want to fight
Anymore. Not him, not you, anyone.
I mean, its my life isn't it? I'm done
With it. I don't want any more of it.
I want to run away but can't do it.
I'm just through with questions. What good are they?
He's not always like last night. He'll stop this.
One day he will stop drinking. I know this.
I have faith in him. I have to. I must.
If I let go, something inside will bust
To pieces. I must try. He's all I have.
There is no better man. He's all I have.
Besides, there are no answers anyway.
CHRISTINE
There are answers. The answers are fatal.
A part of you dies, the relationship dies,
Or he loses all control and you die.
Fear, Cat. I know fear. Fear, not love, is what
Drives you now. It's what drove me. I forgot
Myself, lost myself somehow. I tried, tried
To keep what was already lost. I died.
That was my choice. The answers are fatal.
When you question everything about life.
Even life. You die inside or the strife
Kills the will, Makes you numb to all the pain.
Open your eyes Cat. There's nothing to gain.
I learned this. When Frank died I understood.
Don't repeat my mistake. Please. He's no good.
CATHERINE
How good is he? How warm are his eyes?
You'll see it's not a reprise
Did he arrive too late and too tethered away
To put on his suit and his tie?
How good is he? How warm is his heart or ego, telling him which place to park?
Did he relate? The message is clearly, hardly grounds for dismissal
Outright... grounds for dismissal outright...
CHRISTINE
I wake up and wait up
When anger's in fashion
I wake up and wait up
It echoes through the mansions
I wake up and wait up
When April's in May, oh, uh-oh
I wake up and wait up
The answers are fatal
The answers are fatal
BOTH
I wake up and wait up
The answers are fatal
If he's truly out of sight, is he truly out of mind?
If he's truly out of sight...
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
* Kansas City Sprint Center - May 03, 2010
* Alpine Valley Music Theatre - Sep 03, 2011
* Alpine Valley Music Theatre - Sep 04, 2011
No, not trying to replicate their sound. I intend to have 10 people on stage. There's only one Vedder. And further, women don't sound like men (they sound better but that's just personal bias rowwrrr ). Further, the songs are pulled from different albums at different points in their career. Eventually I will score this, formally writing the music down in a comp program and when I do I intend to bring the songs closer together in overall sound so that they "belong" together in one play - but without removing their unique character and voice. And I will likely need to write incidental music that goes between the songs I listed - that too should feel like it belongs.
What I'm looking for is that balance between "This sounds nothing like Pearl Jam, WTF" and "This is just a stupid rip off of Pearl Jam WTF" if that makes sense.
I have read what the band has to say about interpretation of the music. My script is an interpretation, but it isn't a play. A play happens when a cast and crew take up my script and perform it - which I hope to see some day ( I will go through the correct legal steps for this ). I want the playmakers who take up the script to feel free to do such interpretation and not feel compelled to slavishly execute some vision.
One other thing I'm doing is trying to avoid writing any specific blocking directions in the play. For the most part I'm limiting myself to noting when the main characters enter and exit the stage. The chorus I don't even do that much, leaving it to the director as to when they will enter and leave as their role is "everyone else in the world" - the bystanders if you will.
You see, one reason Shakespeare is popular is his plays don't have elaborate stage directions. The cast and crew can make stuff up and after 500 years they still do. For these songs, and for this story I feel that's the way to go. One production might decide to set the play in 1993 - the year Vs. was released, put up a realistic stage. Another might do a follow many of the Tommy productions I've seen, putting the band and lights on stage and making it look like a concert. Yet another might stage the play like Our Town, with only a few chairs and a table and no other set pieces. I want the script to have that flexibility of interpretation. (And yes, I'm sure there will be a production team that tries to slavishly replicate Pearl Jam's exact sound. That unfortunately is beyond my control but it is one thing I will discourage ).
The script itself is one real long poem. Strip Pearl Jam's lyrics out and it's still a 30 page long poem in iambic pentameter. I did this because I don't think prose works here. I want the actors to be aware of the beats in their spoken lines and poetry is the only real way to convey that.
Finally, this thread is somewhere for me to talk about my thought process in putting this together with a group that appreciates the music and is willing to be critical of my usage of it when necessary. Later in the thread I'll start pulling apart the play song by song and examining the role of the song in the play and whether it is appropriate to that song. The audience in this forum is probably the best I could hope for in helping make that judgement.
Out: Not For You, Dissident
In: Animal, Save You, I'm Open, I am Mine.
Making the play lists...
Act I:
Go, Animal, Life Wasted, No Way, I'm Open, Garden, Daughter, Fatal, Nothing As it Seems, Faithful, Better man, Save You, WMA
Act II: Blood, Brother, Parting Ways, I am Mine, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Sad, Deep, Nothingman, Rearviewmirror, Jeremy, Dead Man Walking, Just Breathe, Indifference.
With these changes all 9 studio albums are now represented in the play (though that wasn't the goal of the change - the goal is to further tighten the script).
I guess I'll give a followup in another month or so. I don't want to keep bouncing this thread without cause though.
ACT I
go
animal
life wasted
no way
i'm open
garden
daughter
fatal
nothing as it seems
alive
better man
save you
W.M.A.
ACT II
blood
brother
i am mine
red mosquito
elderly woman behind the counter of a small town
corduroy
sad
deep
rearviewmirror
last exit
jeremy
porch
dead man
nothingman
just breathe
indifference
Unless anyone has questions I figure this will be the last post for now, and I'll let this sink into the forum back log.
PAMELA
It's just not fair. It scares me. He scares me.
And it's like - well - a few days ago we
discussed this old Greek myth in class about
this guy who was cursed. The gods set him out
to push a huge rock that he could barely
move up an enormous mountain. And he
pushes and pushes unable to stop
for any rest or the rock will crush him.
And so he pushes ever onward in
hope of finishing, but every time he
gets it to the top it rolls back down - he
can't stop it. It's hopeless for him. I heard
that and thought of you, of us. It's absurd.
For there's no way to even reach the top
CATHERINE
Yeah, Call me Sysiphus love. I move the rock.
I just don't want to talk about moving the rock.
Get pictures taken of me while moving the rock.
Anything that distracts me from moving the rock.
I'm holding a private cold reading in two weeks. Sometime early next year I'll try to hold a public cold read.