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Need help! Maid of Honor duties

Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
edited December 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
Okay, so my closest girlfriend has asked me to be the maid of honor in her wedding in March. Which, of course, I'm super stoked about! However, she wants to have her bachelorette party in New Orleans in February. Does anyone know what expenses I'm responsible for? I'm going to start looking at hotels and flights and all that...but since it's a destination party, is the bridal party required to pay for all the bride's expenses including flight and hotel?? I didn't pay anything for mine, but then again it was just downtown and there were no flights or anything involved...so I'm not sure what exactly is expected of me. Any help is much appreciated!!
WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • SidnumSidnum Posts: 674
    Seems to me, if you need to fly somewhere, it's overboard. Unless everyone is in for it. Basically, if you're in charge of it, and you do what you think will be fun, then it should be a great time no matter what you do. If she doesn't appreciate that, then there's something wrong with her.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    I think that all you are responsible for is the planning (where to go, what to do, where to stay), favors, silly stuff for the bride to wear.

    I don't think you are responsible for paying everybody's way to get to NO, their hotel, or drinks...that is their responsibility. You may want to buy dinner and ONE round of drinks.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • release23420release23420 Posts: 1,176
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    RKCNDY wrote:
    I think that all you are responsible for is the planning (where to go, what to do, where to stay), favors, silly stuff for the bride to wear.

    I don't think you are responsible for paying everybody's way to get to NO, their hotel, or drinks...that is their responsibility. You may want to buy dinner and ONE round of drinks.

    Thanks! That's what I was thinking too, but wasn't sure. I've heard some people all pitch in to pay for the bride to go...but personally I think if she's the one that wants to go there she should pay her own way. Hope I'm not being selfish thinking that! I'm definitely going to buy her a nice dinner and have some other cool fun things planned for the weekend.
    release23420 wrote:
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,

    Oh for pete's sake I forgot about mardi gras!! Thanks!
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    release23420 wrote:
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,

    ooohhh good point. Mardi Gras will be Feb 21, 2012.

    Hotels are crazy expensive, (I think our hotel room was $325/night) and typically have a minimum night stay-we stayed 7 days.

    You probably need to make reservations NOW if that's where it's gonna be.

    I love NO, and want to go back when it's not so busy. Drive thru margarita stands!
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    RKCNDY wrote:
    release23420 wrote:
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,

    ooohhh good point. Mardi Gras will be Feb 21, 2012.

    Hotels are crazy expensive, (I think our hotel room was $325/night) and typically have a minimum night stay-we stayed 7 days.

    You probably need to make reservations NOW if that's where it's gonna be.

    I love NO, and want to go back when it's not so busy. Drive thru margarita stands!
    7 days for Mardi Gras :shock:

    RCKNDY Mardi Gras hotel room
    mardi-gras-beads-at-a.jpg
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    I am also the "MoH" for a wedding on New Year's Eve. I put on an "out of town" weekend Stagette for her. I think that as the MoH, you are pretty much responsible for all the planning and putting together the events as well as picking up the "adult" decorations, and cover most (but not all) of the Bride's expenses. Everything else (the venue, stripper lol, and food) was split evenly between everyone that attended. It went perfectly that way and didn't burn a hole in my wallet, just a tad time consuming.
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    bridesmaids ... the con of all cons ... :lol:
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Black Diamond wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    release23420 wrote:
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,

    ooohhh good point. Mardi Gras will be Feb 21, 2012.

    Hotels are crazy expensive, (I think our hotel room was $325/night) and typically have a minimum night stay-we stayed 7 days.

    You probably need to make reservations NOW if that's where it's gonna be.

    I love NO, and want to go back when it's not so busy. Drive thru margarita stands!
    7 days for Mardi Gras :shock:

    yeah! it really is one big party!
    there is one solid week of parades every day up until Fat Tuesday
    Bars are open 24/7
    open container allowed in the streets-plastic only...don't fall down...the sludge in the street is gross
    We went on the Natchez Steamboat day cruise on the mighty muddy Mississippi, went to the zoo, a haunted New Orleans tour, a VooDoo tour, swamp tour...
    Cafe Du Monde-fresh doughnuts 24/7
    Muffalettas...

    I caught a shitload of beads, doubloons, beer koozies...the parades are just spectacular.
    only one warning...not all the pretty girls are 'girls'. ;)

    Everybody should go...just to experience it.
    (our hotel had a 5 night minimum stay)
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    i'll be sure to watch facebook in feb. :P
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Black Diamond wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    release23420 wrote:
    yo madi gras is during the middle of feb if you havent booked yet dont go during then unless you want to pay, you could stay in metre is right outside no like 5mins from downtown,

    ooohhh good point. Mardi Gras will be Feb 21, 2012.

    Hotels are crazy expensive, (I think our hotel room was $325/night) and typically have a minimum night stay-we stayed 7 days.

    You probably need to make reservations NOW if that's where it's gonna be.

    I love NO, and want to go back when it's not so busy. Drive thru margarita stands!
    7 days for Mardi Gras :shock:

    RCKNDY Mardi Gras hotel room
    mardi-gras-beads-at-a.jpg

    hey! that picture was supposed to have been destroyed! :x
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    RKCNDY wrote:
    Black Diamond wrote:
    RCKNDY Mardi Gras hotel room
    mardi-gras-beads-at-a.jpg

    hey! that picture was supposed to have been destroyed! :x
    Um, you must have showed a lot of, um, you know, to get that many beads. :shock: :shifty: :wink:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Who Princess wrote:
    Um, you must have showed a lot of, um, you know, to get that many beads. :shock: :shifty: :wink:

    :angel:
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • pineapplesandwaves.pineapplesandwaves. Posts: 1,808
    Black Diamond wrote:

    RCKNDY Mardi Gras hotel room
    mardi-gras-beads-at-a.jpg

    :lol:

    I've been a bridesmaid several times and the bride has never paid for anything at the bachelorette party (food, drinks, cover, party favours, etc.). All the bridesmaids chip in to cover the bride.

    However, if it's a destination bachelorette party, the bride is responsible for her own flight/hotel costs.

    Being a part of the bridal party is expensive enough as it is, the MOH doesn't need to add an extra plane ticket and a few nights stay at a hotel to that.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    I've been Maid of Honor 3 times & Best Man once. I think much of the wedding etiquette went out the window about a generation ago and now people just pretty much make their own rules. As long as you do whatever you agree to do, it should be fine. It's already so expensive to be the MoH that I certainly don't think you should be expected to pay for your friend's travel; even asking you to make the trip at all could be quite a burden on your budget. If you can't afford to pay for her too, just tell her. If there are enough other bridesmaids to make pitching in to cover all or part of her expenses reasonable, then do that. But I don't think anyone who's not completely self-absorbed would ask for a destination party without planning to pay her own way.
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    Thank you all for the advice!! You pretty much solidified what I was thinking...I've been checking hotels and prices are through the roof because of Mardi Gras...so part of me is hoping she'll change her mind and want to either stay in Chicago or go to Vegas or something...we'll see!

    And no matter where we go, there will be no photographic evidence!!!!! :lol:
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    wow ... bachelorette parties have gotten fancy since my day


    local Chippendales did it for us! ;)
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    Thank you all for the advice!! You pretty much solidified what I was thinking...I've been checking hotels and prices are through the roof because of Mardi Gras...so part of me is hoping she'll change her mind and want to either stay in Chicago or go to Vegas or something...we'll see!

    And no matter where we go, there will be no photographic evidence!!!!! :lol:

    We went to NoLa last month and we rented someone's place. It had room for 8 people and we stayed for 4 nights. It cost us about $360 per set for the whole stay. That may be a cheaper option- and the more people that go, the cheaper it is. I know it will be more expensive during Mardi Gras- but if you book the week after, you may get a deal.

    This is the place we stayed at http://www.vrbo.com/203062#photos. Super nice- in the warehouse district- 15 min walk to bourbon street, very spacious, nice people to deal with.

    There are other places on that site as well.

    Airfare is expensive- we drive down from NYC- not a bad ride.

    As MoH- don't pay for the trip- if that is where she wants to go. If you find a cheap place for all to stay- maybe pitch in for her room- but let her pay the airfare.
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    vduboise wrote:
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    Thank you all for the advice!! You pretty much solidified what I was thinking...I've been checking hotels and prices are through the roof because of Mardi Gras...so part of me is hoping she'll change her mind and want to either stay in Chicago or go to Vegas or something...we'll see!

    And no matter where we go, there will be no photographic evidence!!!!! :lol:

    We went to NoLa last month and we rented someone's place. It had room for 8 people and we stayed for 4 nights. It cost us about $360 per set for the whole stay. That may be a cheaper option- and the more people that go, the cheaper it is. I know it will be more expensive during Mardi Gras- but if you book the week after, you may get a deal.

    This is the place we stayed at http://www.vrbo.com/203062#photos. Super nice- in the warehouse district- 15 min walk to bourbon street, very spacious, nice people to deal with.

    There are other places on that site as well.

    Airfare is expensive- we drive down from NYC- not a bad ride.

    As MoH- don't pay for the trip- if that is where she wants to go. If you find a cheap place for all to stay- maybe pitch in for her room- but let her pay the airfare.

    Awesome advice, thanks so much! I didn't even think of that, a bunch of friends and I usually rent a house in Vegas every year and it does work out to be pretty cheap. I'll definitely look into it!
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
  • cowboypjfancowboypjfan Posts: 2,453
    edited December 2011
    I planned a friend's destination bachelor party and here's how it went.

    Gather up a list of potential guests

    Price everything out for the total amount of people(including the bride/groom since he/she should go for free)

    Divide the total up between the amount of people interested in going.

    Bam! You're done. Now everyone chips in a little to cover the cost of the bride/groom.

    The fun part is collecting the money :)

    Edit: Here's an example

    12 people are going, including the bride so you need to find 3 hotel rooms with double beds or a 3 bedroom house to rent.

    I would leave out the cost of the flight though since everyone needs to book that themselves. However, let everyone know the divided cost to cover the bride's flight(cost divided by 11). Do the same with the accomodations.
    Post edited by cowboypjfan on
  • PillowPantsPillowPants Posts: 4,875
    If she suggested Nawlins then she won't give a fck about pitching in ... i love her for this fact alone... i may have to meet you gals there ;)
  • PillowPantsPillowPants Posts: 4,875
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    Thank you all for the advice!! You pretty much solidified what I was thinking...I've been checking hotels and prices are through the roof because of Mardi Gras...so part of me is hoping she'll change her mind and want to either stay in Chicago or go to Vegas or something...we'll see!

    And no matter where we go, there will be no photographic evidence!!!!! :lol:

    Fck Vegas - New Orleans is much better... and needs the tourism much more than that overcrowded, overpriced, overdone, ashtray in the desert

    vduboise wrote:
    We went to NoLa last month and we rented someone's place. It had room for 8 people and we stayed for 4 nights. It cost us about $360 per set for the whole stay. That may be a cheaper option- and the more people that go, the cheaper it is. I know it will be more expensive during Mardi Gras- but if you book the week after, you may get a deal.

    This is the place we stayed at http://www.vrbo.com/203062#photos. Super nice- in the warehouse district- 15 min walk to bourbon street, very spacious, nice people to deal with.

    There are other places on that site as well.

    Airfare is expensive- we drive down from NYC- not a bad ride.

    As MoH- don't pay for the trip- if that is where she wants to go. If you find a cheap place for all to stay- maybe pitch in for her room- but let her pay the airfare.

    did you feel safe walking to the quarter/bourbon st??
  • PillowPantsPillowPants Posts: 4,875
    i stayed at the Hotel St Marie in March - basic but nice and location couldn't be beat

    especially if your focus is getting hammered on bourbon st


    but i will suggest that if you have time... you check out the live music scene on Frenchmen St

    it's more local but still fun
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    PillowPants wrote:
    i stayed at the Hotel St Marie in March - basic but nice and location couldn't be beat

    especially if your focus is getting hammered on bourbon st


    but i will suggest that if you have time... you check out the live music scene on Frenchmen St

    it's more local but still fun

    The bride doesn't drink :shock: So at least that'll save me some dough! I agree though, I love NOLA, been there quite a few times, it's just going to be hard (on my finances) going there during mardi gras.
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    maybe if her bachelorette party is really expensive during Mardi gras, you could recover some of your money by writing the next Hangover movie starring women :D
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    p.s. http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bachelorette_party.html
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    Your job is done once you get that goofy hat with the giant penis on it for her to wear.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
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